Intelligence, A Swiss Army Knife, And Charm

The BUST DIY Guide To Life--Laurie Henzel & Debbie Stoller

2012-01-23T17:10:00.000-08:00

I have to start this review with a factual statement: I AM OLD. Know why? Because in 1993, at Mac's Backs Paperbacks in Cleveland Heights, OH, I picked up issue #1 of BUST. Yes, I am so old that I remember when BUST was this riot grrl, feminist-minded, sex positive alternative ladies' mag. It's morphed over the years into a more craft-minded publication, and this compilation of pieces from the magazine reflects that.

The subtitle is "Making Your Way Through Every Day," which implies a more advice-oriented slant to this book. What it is is a project book--mostly the great home decor, beauty, sewing and food projects that BUST has published in the past 10 years. There's some advice in regards to 401k plans, camping, picking out a bike, how to do a homebirth, and taking care of a dying loved one. But those sections are too brief and a cursory treatment of difficult issues. The strength is really in the fun stuff, the how to do a beehive hairdo and compost and make string lights.

This is a great gift book for someone just out of college. But as AN OLD, it just doesn't meet my needs.

PS to Debbie Stoller--Hey, you know what you should publish next? A compilation of the 20 years of the "One Handed Read" stories BUST has published.

PSS--Hey, you know what would be really interesting? A literary analysis of the themes and a content analysis of those 20 years of erotic short stories.

Anyone Want To Be On My Career Advisory Board?

2012-01-23T14:06:00.001-08:00

Let me know in the comments. Cookbook is in.

I'll be emailing you on a situation I'm facing tonight/tomorrow.

So Kerry, What Are You Up To?

2012-01-22T17:13:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I went to North Carolina to visit Genevieve!

She gave birth to her daughter Lucy at the beginning of December, and I went to meet the new baby. Lucy is lovely--so tiny, with almond shaped eyes and Genevieve's nose and a little fuzz of dark hair. And beautiful long fingers! We didn't do much aside from visiting the cheese shop and hanging out--when a baby is so small it is just good to have extra hands to hold the baby. And of course I visited with Benjamin, my favorite 3 year old. He is so creative and very into superheroes these days. Why am I so tempted to buy copies of the Powerpuff Girls complete series for both him and Peaches?

Aside from that, I apply for jobs and think of blog posts, but don't blog because I feel guilty of not applying for EVERY SINGLE JOB OUT THERE THAT I AM NOT QUALIFIED FOR. So instead I seem to fall into watching Netflix and Hulu. Feel free to call me up and holler at me.

But I have a phone interview for a job tomorrow. I have mixed thoughts about going for this--it's $12/hr, 5 hours a night Monday through Friday, 5-10pm each night. I'd have to get my hands on transportation because the bus doesn't run that late. But it's an interview, right? And in the library field (MLIS required assistant position at a for-profit college). So good vibes at 2pm Mountain Time would be appreciated.

US World Book Night 2012

2012-01-09T18:37:00.000-08:00

Check your calendar--are you free April 23rd? Why not give away some free books? The US World Book Night is looking for 50,000 individuals across the country to give away books to random low/non-readers.

My idea is to ride the #29 bus and give my 20 copies away to fellow bus passengers. I want to give away Sherman Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, which is perfect for reading on the bus: it's YA, funny yet horribly sad, won the National Book Award, and has short chapters so you can time them to read while waiting or on the bus without missing your stop.

It will be SO MUCH FUN!

2011: The Year I Managed Not To Go Crazy

2011-12-31T20:27:00.000-08:00

That's pretty much the sum of it. 2011 was slated to be the year I had a major depressive episode, following the cycle I had been working on since 2002.*

But I DIDN'T! Thank you Lexapro and Wendy the Therapist! And the Group Therapy Ladies! And all of you! Because my blog and its readers are part of my support system.

Big Things In 2011

So I had a bad and crazy job, and I got fired. But it was redeemed by the fact that I had a network of other people at the job who knew and talked about how it was crazy, so I wasn't the only one. And right before I left, I pointed The Huntress to the next job that she took, getting her out of the crazy and robbing old job of their most senior person by far at her level. She is much happier in her new position.

Oh, and because they fired me, I get unemployment. I had been planning to quit anyway; this just makes it a little easier.

My family is fine, and I had no major fights or issues with them. Dusie is having another baby at the end of next month, and it's a boy this time. We are interested in that experience, since we are very big on the feminist girls in our family. Peaches continues to be just the best damn kid out there, so wonderful and smart and just...awesome. She fills me with awe. And I can't stop hugging her.

Cats are good.

Spent another year without a car.

Went on a date. It sucked.

Started wearing fat girl clothes, and found I look really good sometimes. Sort of casually professional. I rely a lot on black dresses. But I want this 2 tome black and white dress.

Reached 1,000 posts on this blog. I know that's not much in comparison to others, but I have been doing this for 7 years. For me, it's a mark of preseverence and commitment and overcoming a lot of fear.

2012--I have 2 projects lined up. First, make 3 good decisions every day. I'll be documenting this for myself. No need to clutter this place up with minutiae. And second, teach the cats to go out on a leash. Every night they start this "Lady, I want to go out" routine on me, and I'm tired of it. I can't let them be outdoor cats, but they would like some excitement. So, compromise.

And you know, find a damn job.

And an interesting hobby or passionate interest. I need something to define me other than my family. Because face it, I am an olds, and rather boring. And if I am going to be single for all time, then damn it I am going to have the best damn relationship with myself that I can.

*2002, lost my job and 6 weeks after I started a new one, was in the accident when I broke my arm. Shock, surgery, trauma and the shittiness of people lead to major depression. Lasted 5-8 months.

2004, broke up with ex. 4 month depression lead up and get out, with exciting new suicidal ideleation.

2006, worked for crazy people in a job I was bad at, and then my dad died. And then I got fired. In retrospect, the 6 months I spent freezing and reading romance novels were a mild depression.

2008, the new job I had sort of pushed my depression off to Spring-Summer 2009, when it got triggered by Dusie's pregnancy and the craziness of my job. It was bad times, marked by more suicidal thoughts and a severe lack of focus.

So on top of my usual sort of mute depression, I have had a pretty good cycle of major depressions usually with a precipitating event that could be managable if I had better support networks, meds, and/or awareness.

Music Break

2011-12-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

Get ready for New Year's with this sultry early version of "Tainted Love."

Links: Let's Hit New York Edition

2011-12-26T17:06:00.000-08:00

I want this apartment. It is so cool, and has such a pretty view.

And in more NY tiny space news, a totally charming treehouse for grownups.

More tiny houses!

Jewelry with extinct hunting dogs?

Victorian eye jewelry?

And continuing that vibe, check out this artist's amazing peacock sculptures.

By the way, The Hairpin also has this great new holiday column called "What Old Book Do I Read If...? Oh, just read The Hairpin--they have an amazing variety of stories.

Sloane Crosley tells a tale of teenage Christmas drunkeness.

There's a great exhibit of Ezra Jack Keats' illustration work showing too. He's the groundbreaking author illustrator of The Snowy Day, which was a big deal when it was published in 1962 because it showed an African American boy enjoying the snowfall.

Obviously we should all be in New York right now. Or perhaps Vegas.

David Malki! ran a contest in which he challenged readers to reinact his comics.

And totally heartwarming, a baby bat is being hand raised after his mama abandons him.

Holidays Are Not Over!

2011-12-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

Time for the annual ritual: eating the gingerbread house! The kit I bought from Bountiful Baskets has not been assembled. The thought of buying candy to adorn it depressed me. Maybe I could deck its halls with dried fruit and nuts? I have plenty of those.

My grandmother (who I call "SuperBaba" for Peaches' reference, but who really should be referred to as "Baba Yaga") used to make gingerbread houses from the plans Good Housekeeping would publish every year. She was half blind from cataracts and could barely read, but man, could that woman craft--she could make anything! She built her own house from a Sears plan in the '50s. A gingerbread house was nothing. She would give them to us. They were beautiful, but totally wasteful--incredible for the amount of inedible candy that adorned them and the hardness of the gingerbread.

When I looked at this mod gingerbread house I laughed because even I could make that. And I wouldn't need an $80 kit. Okay, I would use graham crackers, which is cheating, but still.

The brownstone gingerbread house is amazing. I appreciate the creator's disclosure that she has been to both pastry and architecture school.

And here's a slideshow of other gingerbread creations. Geodesic dome, anyone?

Christmas Week

2011-12-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

So yes, it is the Christmas hols and all that.

As both an atheist and a lazy person, these are hard times. I am into the festivity of the holiday, but horrible with the deadlines of it all. I don't get a tree to decorate, on account of the cats taking it down.

I was going to make a felt ball garland, but the craft place online was all sold out of the balls I wanted. Maybe in time for next year.

As for gifts, we three sisters and possibly our mam are going out to tea soonish. Soonish because my sister Dusie is due to give birth around January 25th, and I am visiting Genevieve on the 13th. That is our gift to each other, although I told them I reserve the right to purchase used paperbacks and make truffles to put in stockings. Face it, around this time of year I always buy myself a ton of presents anyhow. So I have gifts for Peaches and Genevieve's family, and have to get something for Jesse X and my mom.

My mam did buy me 252 pounds of kitty litter as a Christmas gift though. I told her that Cain and Willa will think of her fondly over the next 6 months every time they poop.

My soundtrack to all this will be NPR's Jingle Jams along with my Christmas music CDs. For instance, I bought the She & Him Christmas album this year.

The schedule:

Monday: Make fruitcake and get presents out in the mail. I am macerating my dried fruit in rum instead of Maker's Mark. But I did wind up using a lot of dried pineapple in the fruit mix, so it should work.
Tuesday: Bake cookies with Dusie. We are making pecan balls, and maybe biscotti. I also want to pick out some other cookie recipes to try.
Wednesday: Final shopping day for groceries and such.
Thursday: Make truffles
Friday: Go shopping, make more truffles, wrap presents.
Saturday: Probably hanging out with my sister and her family. Aces goes off to her boyfriend's huge Christmas Eve celebration.
Sunday: Christmas

Crazy Cat Lady Links

2011-12-19T11:31:00.000-08:00

I am an unrepentant crazy cat lady. My biological clock has sort of gone off--but I don't want babies. I want kittens!

Need a gift for your own crazy cat lady? Try Crazy Cat Lady board game or the Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure (No, you don't get half off the Nancy Pearl figure with purchase of both. Sorry.)

I got these from the hilarious blog Animals Behaving Badly

Take a look at this Advent calendar featuring darling shelter kitties. I cannot believe that both Hampton and Naomi have not been scooped up and adopted. I would take either of them in an instant.

And did you see this amazing video of a cat doing yoga with its owner?

I Feel All Lucky And Blessed

2011-12-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

Okay first off, I have a job interview on Wednesday. It was the capper of a great week in which I left the house and had fun a lot--more on those adventures later. It's for a job that while I may be overqualified for it and it represents a step back on my resume, it has a lot of side quality-of-life benefits: it's on the 29 bus route, it's back in the library world, it would probably allow me to meet a lot of interesting people and directly engage with them, a good schedule, and you know, it's WORK.

I think that in 2012 I should direct my self-improvement/therapy efforts on trying to figure out my career. I don't want to work for crazy people who make me feel anxious and bad about myself, but it really seems like I've got a thing for finding such positions and getting trapped in them. Not to mention, I am the queen of "just jobs" and the whole librarian thing is impossible.

Or maybe I should just let Terry the T-Rex run my career. I imagine her advice would involve a lot of teeth baring and running down the weak.

Additionally, tonight Aces is performing for pay and possibly using jokes we co-wrote last week about porn and the Kitten Party DVD I took out of the library. I am having a dinner beforehand with The Huntress and Winter at my house. I will probably make chicken soft tacos. I made them about 2 years ago for The Huntress and brought them in for lunch, and she still talks about them! And I will probably also make a marmalade cake.

You Know What Makes Me Happy & Grateful?

2011-12-06T20:37:00.000-08:00

This year, I will not have to sit through a potluck office Christmas party (who the hell forgets the sour cream he volunteered to bring?) featuring either a baked potato bar or bad Mexican food. I will also not have to participate in an excruciating gift exchange, a contest, watch my sickeningly sweet religious colleagues be goofy, or sing Christmas carols.

I can also baste my fruitcake in Maker's Mark, and foist it off on everyone I know and hang out with, without worrying about offending Mormons.

CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME.

Arizona Is Crazy In A Fun Way

2011-12-06T11:18:00.000-08:00

Cats in cactus.

Snow is also falling in higher valley elevations. It's been about 55 degrees this week, so I am cold!

Christmas Gifts I'd Like To Give Your Child

2011-12-01T19:34:00.000-08:00

I may be a childless 36 year old, but I do have more sense than to buy these presents for my nieces and nephews. If only because Genevieve and Dusie will have to tuck them away to prevent newborn nap disturbances and babies swallowing pieces and screaming, emergency room visits, and "Really, Kerry!"

An accordian. Polka is not going to save itself, people.

A make it yourself ukele kit

A specialty pack of 7 different source chocolate bars from Trader Joe's

A set of Bucky Balls

The Kitten Party DVD

A kitten (also a puppy or a fish)

An ice cream maker

Dried mushroom assortment

Pocket sound machine

Their own CD player

The Law & Order DVD box set--What! L&O is great for the whole family.

Some 20X200 art--like this adorable bear

Best Thanksgiving Ever

2011-11-25T13:53:00.000-08:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Aces is brillant.

She and her boyfriend brought his cat Rei to Thanksgiving. Rei is a Russian Blue mix, but teeny--she's about 5 pounds and 2/3rds the size of a normal cat. She likes to go visiting, and is not afraid of a 2 year old or a new house or a giant dog.

Peaches kept exclaiming, "Kitty, kitty tat!" and following Rei around. She was uninterested in making hand turkeys with me as long as Rei was round.

I had 2 glasses of Maker's Mark mixed with apple cider. Delicious. Jesse X agreed.

I made honey and lemon glazed carrots and parsnips, my cranberry-apricot sauce, and the brussels sprouts Aces contributed. My mom called me this morning to tell me how good it was.

Everyone got along.

Tomorrow I am going to shelve at the library. The only problem with having Thanksgiving at someone else's house is the lack of leftovers, although I have tons of ingredients--I had ham and brussels sprouts today, and I might make mashed potatoes and these sweet potatoes with pecans and goat cheese tomorrow. I have a ton of celery, red potatoes, sweet potatoes, and russets from Bountiful Baskets, along with carrots and herbs. Any recommendations for things I could make?

May Your Thanksgiving Be Better Than This

2011-11-24T06:34:00.000-08:00

More Thanksgiving Advice

2011-11-23T14:43:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm about to get some Thanksgiving prep work done. I'll be listening to this NPR Thanksgiving mix, Songs for Stuffing. I'm not making the broccoli rabe as there was none at Sprouts. Instead I'll make my jammy Cranberry Apricot Sauce and bring the pumpkin pie.

If the music doesn't work for setting a joyful T-day mood, take the advice in this article and calm the fuck down. Or follow this advice and pretend to be Myrna Loy and William Powell in The Thin Man to get through the day. Actually, "pretend to be Nick and Nora Charles" is an excellent plan for almost any difficult situation. Although it's a lot easier if you are part of a couple. Here's a list of easy cocktails to get through the day.

And if you want heartwarming, read about the Plotz family's epic Thanksgiving pie extravaganzas. Or make this apple bourbon cake>Apple Bourbon Bundt Cake to finish things off.

No Black Friday shopping for me, but I am thinking about hitting The Awkward Party on Saturday after I do a shift shelving at the library.

Thanksgiving On The Radar

2011-11-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

So it's Thanksgiving week. Are you busy? I miss the being busy with the cooking for a crowd. I think next year I will put in a Craigslist ad and volunteer to help people cook for Thanksgiving.

Or I can just answer the Thanksgiving Hotline questions from the NY Times.

I want to try cooking Turkey in a Bag, but I am worried about toxins in the plastic. Is this a valid concern?
Amy Taivalkoski · Sussex, WI

Good lord, you don't cook it in a plastic bag from Target! You mean one of those oven bags, right? I wouldn't do it, but go ahead. I'm sure there's no off-gassing or melting.

Picking up the turkey (fresh) the day before, while I don't have the space to brine over-night, would it be a good idea to just salt well cover and refrigerate over-night?
John Mooney · Orange County

NO! Don't salt it ahead of time as you'll draw the moisture out of the skin. It's fine not to brine; just don't try to half-ass it. God, I hate it when people half-ass their cooking. Just cook it in a hot oven like always, and throw a lot of butter and herbs and such under the skin and in the cavity. It will be fine.

is there a substitute for brown sugar? i have a guest coming who can not eat white sugar and i understand that brown sugar is made from white sugar. thanks for your prompt response to this question..
ABBY SEGALL · los angeles ca 90035

Other way around, Abby. White sugar is refined from brown. I'd ask this guest what exactly the problem is with white sugar and what they prefer--you can substitute honey, or agave syrup, or Splenda or stevia or whatever.

We had an early Thanksgiving with my wife's family this year. We used a fresh/brined Turkey from Trader Joes, but I forgot to use my meat thermometer/timer By the time we took it out of the oven, the internal temperature was around 186 and rising (6 degrees over the recommended temp). I noticed the dark meat was very tasty, but found the white meat pretty dry - how much do you think this can be attributed to the higher internal temp?
EK · Des Moines

Yes, you overcooked the turkey by putting it in the oven too long. Even the moisture from the brine will evaporate away at some point. Timers are your best tool for turkey.

My family have been Butterball turkey lovers and loyalists for years but my beloved niece has asked if we could have a turkey "raised a bit more humanely." Now, familial love and loyalty certainly trumps turkey love and loyalty, does it not? What's an aunt to do? What does one get, or better yet sacrifice in taste/dollars for turkey humanity???
Gail Capaldi · Haddonfield, NJ

Well, you shouldn't be eating Butterball because it's injected with gross chemicals. But honestly, if little miss is so concerned about the ethical pedigree of the turkey, she should volunteer to source and pay for it. I volunteered to pay for part of the turkey if my sister went the heritage-small farmer-fancy turkey route. Upgrade to the 89 cents/pound Costco turkey, which is both cheap and delicious.

I have the actual Thanksgiving dinner covered but what can I serve for the next 9 meals for in-laws who stay until Sunday? We can only stand leftovers for one or two of these, the in-laws don't help but do comment a lot, and I will be exhausted by then.
Lou · NYC

Lou, you have my sympathies. I recommend a nice long trip to the grocery store on Saturday morning to replenish the larder and pick out some stuff that looks fresh. This cavatappi recipe is both delicious and easy. And if you happen to stop by a pedicure palace ahead of time, who will know? Such lines. So many people.

I am dating a man who has been sober for a number of years and he's coming to my home for dinner. I have several recipes that seem to "require" either some sort of wine/fortified wine in them, specifically an oyster stuffing recipe. How can I substitute alcohol without sacrificing taste? Thanks
Rachel · Boerum Hill

Rachel, do you actually like this guy? Because if your recipes require more than a tablespoon of wine, it's integral to the flavor. Why not buy a copy of a cooking magazine and try some new recipes this year?

I'll try to keep my mouth shut about the oyster dressing.

What is a good side dish to bring to a family t'giving dinner. I've made Indian Corn pudding from Alton Brown's show and take it out 10 minutes early. I thas a lot of thyme and other Thanksgiving spices.
MJ · Stamford, CT

MJ, I've made that recipe too, and it is totally the bomb and just the thing for when you have to travel. Don't take it out 10 minutes early, though--cook it all the way through, and serve at room temp.

Can I cook a turkey (cut up, I imagine) in the crockpot?
Leslie · Cambridge, MA

Yes, you can cook a turkey in a roaster, but it's not going to be a nice brown roasted turkey--you need an oven and dry heat for that. The turkey meat will be moist and maybe falling off the bone, and kind of boiled tasting. But hey, if you like that...

How about a non-alchoholic drink, other than cider, not loaded with suger and without anything sparkling in it? Is such a thing possible?
Lynn Naeckel · Chicago

What's wrong with sugar and sparkling, Lynn? Are you an aesthete sugar-hater? Make some iced tea, or get plain fruit juice or something.

We are traveling two hours from home and bringing the cooked turkey. How should I proceed? Last year I cooked the bird and put it into a cooler -- by the time we arrived it was dry as a bone. Thank you.
Marlena Christensen · Barnegat Light, NJ

Marlena, why are you doing this? It's just a recipe for disaster. But if you can't cook it at the destination, I'd brine that sucker, then roast it and let it cool, cut it up, and reheat at the location.

I like to have a first course (generally a salad) at the table when people sit down. About 40 people! I'm kosher, so that eliminates a lot. Any suggestions?
Lillian · New York

Huh? How is salad not kosher? And crackers, 40 people? How do you do it?

Anyway, make fennel, celery and green apple salad with a honey apple vinegar dressing.

I am making a Tex-Mex inspired enchilada dish for Thanksgiving - sweet potato/black bean enchiladas with a tomatillo sauce. What cheese would you recommend? Goat? Cotija? I know its not a traditional dish, but my friend wanted a Mexican dish!
Sneha · NYC

Cotija. As for traditional, who cares? Out here in the Southwest, that would be a great dish.

How do I prevent my 12-year old urchin of a cousin from stealing an entire turkey leg for himself?
Marson · New York

Nerf gun, bribes to the cook, and strategic placement of yourself next to the meat platter should ensure you get a leg for yourself. Otherwise, I suggest a marathon card game with gambling stakes.

I so dislike most of the foods included in a traditional Thanksgiving dinner that I end up fasting instead of feasting. Now that I'm in charge, I want to ditch the traditional menu in favor of a prime rib roast or a leg of lamb or something, anything, else. How can I convince my family to go along with me?
Jaybe · California

Jaybe, why do you have to be a dick about Thanksgiving? If you're hosting, you have to let people have at least some of what they want for the meal. Otherwise, you're being a shitty host.

I sympathize with people who are hamstrung by people who want crappy food for Thanksgiving. But if you want prime rib or a leg of lamb, you might have to make it along side the turkey and regular dishes instead of doing a substitution. Dude, it's what I do every year when I don't get what I want for a meal--just make it the next day.

My holiday plans? I volunteered to bring a Costco pumpkin pie and this broccoli rabe with parmesan. My homemade pies have not found favor before.

The Sum Of My Week

2011-11-13T19:29:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 2:30am today to the realization that my fridge was broken. Thankfully the compressor was still working for the freezer, so I didn't lose my stash of meat. However, I did lose a lot out of the fridge section as it has been dying over the past day or two. Lovely.

Maintenance switched me out with a new one by noon, but I am going to have to tip them as the produce section may have contained remnants of lemons. Okay, it certainly did. I have admitted my tendency to keep a Katrina fridge before.

I have been increasing my enthusiasm for my job hunt by reading Ask A Manager this weekend. She gives solid advice on jobhunting, and even tackles wacky topics like what to do when your coworker is working as a prostitute on company premises and what to do with a coworker who pees himself daily. She has an e-book that I am tempted to purchase.

I shelved again on Thursday and thoroughly enjoyed it. I found the new Lydia Loveless CD on the racks. I had been planning to get that at some point, so hooray! I also took out Elvis Costello's Sacred, Profane, and Sugarcane.

I also did some Christmas shopping. I have credits on Buy With Me, which got transferred to Gilt, which means that Genevieve's baby girl is getting some cute clothes and a blue chicken rattle. Bruiser is getting the same rattle, although he isn't supposed to arrive until January. And I still have some credit left! My other ideas for chocolate lovers Peaches and Benjamin were these neat chocolate bars sourced from different cacao regions--available at Trader Joe's for $8. They will also get books or appropriate toys.

I Think Too Much

2011-11-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

This weekend is the Arizona Cacophony Society's Epic Superhero Battle. (It's after the Pie Social) I was thinking about going, which lead to thoughts of participation, which lead to the question of costume.

I decided on the costume of Aunt, because that could either be a hero or villain. On the hero side, I could make encouraging remarks and give hugs. If playing for the villains, I could make cutting remarks and maybe throw stuffed cats at participants. That's because I am totally headed for crazy, catlady spinster auntieness myself. (Maybe there should be a society, like those Red Hat Ladies, where we can all go for tea at the Arizona Biltmore Hotel and prepare ourselves for middle and old age.)

Then, since this costume would undoubtedly require my wearing my Aunt Mary Jane's sweater, I thought I should be very Aunt Mary Jane-ish. But what would Mary Jane's weapon be, minicakes of Dove soap? I will say that she and Grandma Jane really did have great skin. Then I thought I could do a play on words and get some rolling papers and oregano and make fake joints to hand out.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Do any sisters or cousins reading this have feedback?

Links!

2011-11-06T17:18:00.000-08:00

Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures In Depression. This is a great comic showing the depressive slide.

The Best Time I Met Vincent D'Onofrio. D'Onofrio is one of those actors I love to watch in all sorts of crap because he is always good. Especially in Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

Young Mormons Find Ways To Be Hip. Okay, I have a lot of opinions on this. First off, LDS is a cult in my opinion, no two ways about it.

Second, you're so wild to be hip and get a tattoo, but it has to be a Mormon themed tattoo to pass muster? It's either okay or not to have one according to scripture. And a beehive? Why not Joseph Smith on one forearm and Brigham Young on the other? Or a backpiece of the United States showing the way to Deseret Territory?

And third, "hip" is just such a ridiculous concept. True individuality, creativity, intelligence, charm, integrity, your whole sack of virtues and faults--that's not signaled by your beard or skinny jeans or vintage dress. If you like those things, fine, but to adopt them as a signifier just shows that you don't know yourself.

For another take on this, see All that Authenticity May Be Getting Old.

And I'm happy that Elna Baker has left the church--I read her memoir when it came out, and it was a frustrating read because she's lively, smart and fun but didn't fit in with the other Mormons, and the imposed viewpoint really stifled her critical thinking skills and seemed to lead to more unhappiness and trouble for her.

There's an app called Puppy Time! It sends pictures of puppies to your phone, and there's a kitty version coming out soon. I guess that's a great way to spend 99 cents if I Can Has Cheezburger and its associated sites are not enough for you.

The haunted dollhouse. Jenny Lawson has spent 10 years on it, it's amazing and not finished yet.

Louis vs Rick. A cat IMs his owner. Hilarity ensues.

An awesome character study of an offbeat Brooklyn undertaker.

A must for feminists--an oral history of the founding of Ms.

Love Her Or Liver

2011-11-05T17:22:00.000-07:00

So I have someone in my life, and to be discreet I won't say who it is, but this someone often asks me why do I have these weird interests and why can't I be normal and like other people. To which I don't respond, because really, what the fuck can you say in response to that? First off, when I attempt to "be normal," I wind up even stiffer and disconnected than when I'm completely wacko. What's normal anyway?

So I went garage saling with Winter this morning. We walked around her development for an hour chatting with her neighbors and checking out the goods. At one table I stopped dead and gazed in wonder. It was totally awesome. "Winter, don't you want this?" I asked, for she was the one with the cash.

It was a plastic model of a liver. Even better--it showed the liver in 4 sections: normal, fibrotic, cirrhotic, and cancerous. And the four pieces snap off so you can look at cross-sections.

"You can use it as a paperweight!"

Winter had a better idea. She has an alcoholic friend and is using it for a lighthearted intervention.

Yes, she purchased it.Her neighbor's son got it for free when he was in med school. It's Gilead drug swag. We walked around taking it out of the box and showing people our cool find.

I had a great morning. It's wonderful to have people who understand you, and the lure of a plastic liver.

Have Wheels, Will Travel?

2011-11-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

Enterprise occasionally has $9.99 day specials in its neighborhood locations. So for $40, I rented a car for this weekend. I ran some errands today, and took a short jaunt up Central Ave to the foothills of the Camelback's head. So cool. Lots of tall trees and old houses in that area.

By 2:30pm, the sky was dark and the wind had picked up. We're getting a storm system here--70% chance of rain tonight and a dust storm warning until 8pm, and a low in the 50s. It was an inauspicious start to the weekend. It's First Friday, but I didn't want to be covered in dust. Plus the movie at the Biltmore was not of interest. Next Friday it's Say Anything, so I'm expecting wall to wall sobbing GenX in the park.

I'm taking the car to meet up with Winter for breakfast tomorrow, but after that I'm free. I'm going to Trader Joe's, but I need some ideas for other fun. Maybe I'll hit Sweet Republic.

We Are All The Poors Now

2011-11-03T08:34:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to unemployment orientation. This involved taking a bus down to south Phoenix to the Department of Economic Security's office, listening to a presentation, and meeting with a counselor who certified I had been there. It was better than the unemployment bootcamp I went to in Ohio, where they told us that time was running out on our unemployment, that you should always try to find jobs through people you know because that's the best way, and when I met with the counselor she looked at my resume and said, "You have a Master's degree--you shouldn't have any problem finding a job" and dismissed me.

It was extremely unhelpful.

This time around the leader who was doing the presentation gave me faith in my presentation skills, as she merely lead us through our packet of papers and did so fairly incoherently. I mean, I managed to get what she was driving at, but that's because I'm smart. According to her:

--DES will audit our asses on a moment's notice and force us to pay back all unemployment received if we don't hunt for jobs;
--If you do all your jobhunting through the Workforce Connection then there will be a paper trail that will help us in case we get audited,
--And there's no health insurance for single adults available because of "the abuse by a few." At this I almost raised my hand and started arguing; the reason why single, childless adults are getting dropped from AHCCCS is because the state is broke and got a special waiver from the feds to cut the Medicaid rolls. And the Legislature hates the citizens of Arizona (or they are all Republican, same difference most days.)

She also informed us that we should kiss our previous standard of living goodbye; people are only finding work that pays "half or a third or an eighth of what they made before." Arizona is not a high wage state; there's no unions out here and it's completely right to work.

So yeah, life is bleak. We're all the poors now, no hope for the future. I even got turned down by Target, and that's right across the street. I said I was always available and I thought I answered as a positive, upbeat, hardworking person on their little personality test. Guess not. Maybe Jersey Mike's Subs will pay off.

Chapped Hands, Broken Nails, And A Successful Afternoon

2011-11-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

Today I did my first shift at the library as a volunteer. "Kerry! How are you putting your MLIS to work?" Dear readers, they do not let you do professional work as a volunteer. That is why the whole "Can't get hired? Volunteer!" advice that gets handed to library school graduates is such bullshit.

I am shelving. Which I knew getting into this gig, and am perfectly fine with. I get to shelve the nonfiction, which has the advantage that it's tricky in terms of Dewey and keeping the numbers in order, so a book cart took me 2 hours. Also as I was shelving, I was straightening shelves and shifting, and reshelving anything I noticed out of place. I told my supervisor that I was happy to love on my section.

I checked out only one book out that I found of interest. Such restraint! And I broke just 2 nails. I should have polished them before heading over, but I forgot that even a little exposure to books and paper chemicals sucks the moisture out of your hands and nails.Then I came home and had a huge drink.

I'll be there every Thursday morning, 11am-1pm. May this be the catnip to employers that I need to get some interviews.

In Which I Join The NaBloPoMo Brigade

2011-11-01T22:33:00.000-07:00

But not with a lengthy post.

In Which I Make Some Plans

2011-10-25T17:53:00.000-07:00

So I asked myself, "Self, should you have to move from Arizona*, what would you feel ashamed of not having seen?" And after a bit of thought, I narrowed down to 2 things: the Grand Canyon, which I did visit at 13 but barely remember, and Bisbee, because I want to stay at Shady Dell. And while Arizona has a lot of pretty mountains and hiking and caves and such, I am not an outdoor girl. Nor am I a small town hanger-outer. Besides, I've seen scenic downtown Florence, and it has really declined since Murphy's Romance. As a second tier of places to go I'd put trips to Tucson and Ajo down--it might be interesting, but not really worth the effort.

So while I'm unemployed, I am going to try to schedule trips out of town. Maybe I'll even see snow up in the mountains. Of course, I still have my Groupon-like deal for the Greer Lodge and Resort Cabins, but since the lodge and restarant burned down last spring in an arson fire, I'm thinking I can get a refund for that. Plus, scorched earth in fall--exciting!

I'd also like to go to New Mexico, since that was the prettiest part of my drive in 2009, and Denver, because you can rent bikes to get around the city. And Portland and Seattle are also appealing.

One of the things I hated about my job is that I never got to take time off in summer to flee the heat, because that was when the audits were due, and it was year-round scramble.

I also took my first unemployment monies and bought a ticket to see Genevieve and her family in January, after the Christmas rush and before she returns to work.

*Not happening any time soon, but I am still embarrassed that I lived in Ohio for 15 years and only went to Columbus a few times, and never visited the 15 room used bookstore.

Stuff I Found On The Internet

2011-10-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

More disgusting pictures of mushrooms

The absolute minimum of cleaning you should do before leaving on vacation.

Maria Bamford parodies haul videos. A parody of a haul video featuring used books from Powells'. I laughed so hard. And then I went to her website and she's appearing in Scottsdale in February and there's lots of video available on YouTube. I am going to see if Aces will go with me.

Tips from Benefit on how to make your eyes pop behind your glasses.

Christian Jackson does neat-o illustrations of fairy tales. I really like Little Red Riding Hood, hint hint.

Jobs That Make My Head Hurt From Banging It On My Desk

2011-10-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

Why do you need to advertise in Arizona for people to work in NYC selling Christmas trees?

Oh god, they're making porn in the East Valley. If I were a performer, I'd want the office staff to be friendly and efficient, not slutty.

He may call it "personal assistant", but seriously--he wants to sleep with you.

The Flying Troutmans--Miriam Toews

2011-10-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

I loved this darkly funny road novel by Canadian writer Miriam Toews. I think that if you liked Little Miss Sunshine, you'll like this book--it has a lot of the same feel to it in the low-key tragicomic tone, and deals primarily with how family members cling to each other in the wake of mental illness and chaos.

Hattie Troutman has come back from Paris to take care of her niece and nephew and put her sister Min back in the hospital for the umpteenth time. Min has 30 years or so of crazy under her belt--she's tried to kill herself numerous times, Hattie at least once, and was inadvertently responsible for their dad's death. Hattie fled to Paris, just tired of it all and needing a break. She's the last of the family able to assume responsibility for Min and her kids, 15 year old Logan and 11 year old Thebes. After checking Min into the hospital, Hattie surveys the wreckage and decides that the best thing to do is go off looking for the kids' long-gone dad, Cherkis, who was last heard to be in South Dakota. After all, Logan's been expelled from school and alienated the neighbors by throwing hatchets, and Thebes is decidedly more manic than before, and there's nothing keeping them in Manitoba, is there?

So off they go in the family van, confounding American border agents, hustling on local basketball courts, squabbling, and trying to reach Cherkis before the van breaks down irreparably. Meanwhile, Hattie reflects on her history with her sister and gets to know her niece and nephew. The charm of this book is in the characters--Thebes is a wildly charming creation, with her novelty checks and homemade gift certificates, but all the characters are nicely layered.

Madness: A Bipolar Life--Marya Hornbacher

2011-10-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

Library displays work, everybody. It's what lead me to pick up this book. Here I was, just checking out my selections at the Saguaro, and this was on the shelf by the checkout machine. I hadn't read Hornbacher's previous memoir Wasted, which was nominated for a Pulitzer. But as many of you know, The Don was bipolar, and I have a general interest in it. Although I've been assured that my highs aren't mania, that just called "being happy, Kerry."

Oh my god. This is an agonizing read. Hornbacher expertly puts the reader in the middle of her struggle. She came out of her adolescence, which she spent drinking, cutting and starving herself, to a sort of steady place. She's able to write, at least. However, she still suffered from racing brain and deep depressions and mood swings. Then a new psychiatrist tells her she's such a classic case of bipolar that he doesn't know why no one noticed it. Which turns out to be the answer to what's wrong with her, and at least the starting point. Then Hornbacher ignores that for the next several years, preferring to drink, not take her meds, to wind up in hospitals, to tell herself that she's fine and can control things. When she finally does take her illness seriously, it's progressed to the place where it controls her--she spends most of the next several years in the hospital, including a 2 year period where she can't spend more than a week at home before being rehospitalized.

The power in this book stems not from the outline of the story--which is gripping enough, but not unusual. It's Hornbacher's control of her narrative voice, and the way she shows the pace of her thoughts through her writing. An example:

"It seems I've called my mother at some point in the last few days. I've been gone for weeks. My parents--now divorced, my mother living in Minneapolis with her new husband, my father with his new wife in Arizona--knew only that I was on a hiking trip with a friend. They've been worried about me for months, listening to me get crazier and crazier during our infrequent phone calls. Whatever I said to my mother when I called from Oregon must have tipped her off that I was not doing so well (No, not so well). She called her sister, who lives in Oregon, and asked her to come and get me. She also called my sister-in-law, a doctor in a Portland hospital, and made certain a bed in the psych ward was waiting for me.

But I know none of this. All I know is that I am in the beach house, and my aunt is here, and I am near tears with relief. I try to feign normalcy--give her a hug, tell her I just needed a little getaway, the beach house seemed the very place. I don't tell her I didn't even know I was in the beach house. I smile and tell her I'm writing. I babble and chatter, my speech getting faster by the second. I flit from topic to topic, unable to stop, and she nods, looking at me strangely, worried, and I don't want her to be worried, I don't want her to think I'm crazy.

Out of nowhere I hear myself lighting into HMOs and their evils, their failure to cover mental health services, and I am being extremely articulate, honing my argument, and now I am sobbing, and I say I don't know what I am going to do, I have no way to get help, and i think it's possible I may need some help, nothing serious, but maybe something to help me get back on my feet, but they won't cover anything and it's all a bureaucracy with no connection to real people with real problems who need help. I watch tears drip from my nose onto the wood grain of the kitchen table and try to get ahold of myself, to start speaking in a nice, detached, intellectual way. This will surely pursuade my aunt that I am perfectly fine, outburst aside.

Oh, sweetie, she says." (pg 126)

The whole book draws you into the immediacy of the moment, the volatility of Hornbacher's emotions. It's a powerful, engrossing read that draws upon your sympathy without abusing it. Recommended for anyone looking to understand how mental illness affects individuals and why they just won't straighten up and take their meds and take care of themselves.

Then He Put Her In A Pumpkin Shell, And He Kept Her Very Well

2011-10-17T16:21:00.000-07:00

Across the street in the shopping lot, someone has set up a pumpkin lot. While I respect someone trying to make a buck, let's consider the facts:

This is Phoenix, AZ.
It is 2 weeks to Halloween.
It's currently in the 90s.

Considering that pumpkins mold out overnight this time of year, I don't think that this is a good idea. Also, all the pumpkins are your standard orange ones, although they do have a variety of sizes and shapes.

If I'm going to shell out $10 for a pumpkin, I want one of the fairytale pumpkins like the above. They must be very hot--the Fry's out in AJ had tons of them, very reasonably priced. Or a cutie pie pumpkin.

Where do you stand on the pumpkin issue? Do you purchase them? And do you carve? I hate pumpkin carving--too stinky and messy.

This is what I am making for dinner this week: Turkey Pumpkin Goulash

Through The Heart--Kate Morgenroth

2011-10-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

I've been in a dry spell of good mysteries lately. Several new-to me authors that I would be busily tapping my foot to come out with new books are busily writing screenplay adaptations for existing work (Gillian Flynn), concocting new stories (Tana French) or have released new material that requires reading a backlist that goes back to the early 90's just to remember what's going on (S.J. Rozan, who took a nearly 10 year break after 9/11 but is back to publishing Lydia Chin and Bill Smith stories).

But I picked up Through the Heart at Costco and wound up reading it so slowly to make it last. It's a good, smart, unusual mystery novel. It breaks format in that by the third chapter we've been introduced to our two major characters, Nora and Timothy, and know one is dead in a B&B. But which one? And why? And who did it?

Nora and Timothy alternate telling the story of how they came to meet in Nora's small Kansas town and fall in love. Nora has moved home to take care of her mom, who has cancer. Timothy has been dispatched to meet with Warren Buffet, but takes a roadtrip that leads him to the coffeehouse where Nora works.

Morgenroth does great characters--Nora's very capable and aware of her choices and what has brought her back home. Timothy isn't a white knight--he's more screwed up and on the cad side of the morality scale. But I bought that these two would have an attraction to each other and that they would for various reasons be a pair. And my rooting for them lead me to forget about that dead body that is hanging over the narrative. And Morgenroth layers her story with a meditation on what it means to love someone, the games and changes that brings, and questions of if we all deserve love. It's an excellent read.

5 Years

2011-10-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today was the 5th anniversary of The Don's death.

I'm not sad or melancholy. I miss him, but I think he'd be pleased how things are turning out for us all. He'd be in love with Peaches and her upcoming brother. Dusie has talked about naming her boyo after him. And I mean really after him--Donald Francis Howell X. I asked her, what we would call him? There's only one The Don. I do hope he's gotten out of purgatory, as my sister asserts that he must have been doing some time down there. My mom was on the East Coast this week, so I hope that she went to his grave.

It's Cat Vs. Dog, And I'm Not Sure Who Will Win

2011-10-10T20:36:00.000-07:00

I brought Cain over to the house where I'm dogsitting today. It's not going real well. Rocky is a very friendly Golden Retriever who is fascinated by cats. Cain does not want him in his face. Plus, getting him here was traumatic in multiple ways.

I only had one carrier, and I originally planned to bring both Willa and Cain. The carrier is a soft black nylon bag with some distinct claw damage. So I went over and bought a new hard plastic carrier--big enough for Cain. But as I was carrying him down the stairs, boom! The clasps gave way and he fell out. He recovered and went up the steps to the door, clearly intending to give this whole traveling business a pass.

Meanwhile, I put the bag with Willa in it on a lower step. Willa decided to try to escape by throwing herself against the side of the bag, bumping down the steps. She was unhurt, but when she reached bottom and couldn't go any farther, she started screaming up a storm.

I'm trying to put the carrier back together so I can shove Cain back in. I manage it, toss him in, and boom! The bottom falls out again.

Okay, at 20 pounds he is too heavy for the carrier. There was a corgi on the label! Corgis weight 20 pounds, don't they?

The carrier is getting returned later this week.

I put him inside the apartment, rescued Willa, and considered my options. Willa can stay by herself with food and clean boxes--as long as she has a window and her scratchy, she's fine. Cain got put in the black bag, and off we go.

Cain didn't cry much during the 40 minute car ride, but when I pulled him out of the backseat I found he had peed all over himself. Luckily I had put the carrier inside the plastic litter box so nothing got on the upholstery. Score one for Kerry! But the shame does not improve his temper.

I went to the grocery store and bought a pork roast for dinner. Cain's favorite thing is porky in all forms, and Rocky sort of forgets to eat if you don't put a little human food on his kibble. So everyone had good dinner, and hopefully that will soothe everyone's grumps.

I think Cain is winning though. He has settled himself on the other side of the couch and growls when Rocky gets in his face. Rocky looks totally confused like, "I sniffed your butt to be polite! You can sniff mine! Want my ostrich? I took all the stuffing out." Cain's expression is "What fresh hell is this?"

Poor kitty. Life with a single lady is so calm.

Links!

2011-10-08T15:05:00.000-07:00

Remember my fascination with the world's most disgusting mushroom/fungus, as seen in NY? I wrote about it last fall. It's back! Click for the newest pictures of Spawn of Disgusto.

Oh, NY cops. Once again, you're warning women about the danger of wearing skirts.

I keep seeing these articles about the resurrection of the art of letter writing. I have started to send Peaches postcards, which Dusie tells me is a thrill for her.

Celebrate fall! Look at cats in fall foliage shots.

An interview with the fabulous Kate Beaton.

A good rant about pumpkin fatigue. I myself don't understand the mania for putting pumpkin in everything, especially coffee drinks. Sometimes it seems people aren't even reacting to pumpkin taste but more the cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg--the spice profile, not the flavor of pumpkin.

More disgusting, but good to know: how to clear your drains of hairballs. With pictures!

A lovenote to the wonder of bourbon. However, they left out one awesome recipe--Brown Sugar Broiled Grapefruit with Bourbon. Cut a grapefruit in half, separate the sections, throw a half ounce of bourbon into each half. Sprinkle with brown sugar, then stick under the broiler until sugar is melted and crusty.

Barely Feral is a site devoted to porn for cats, by cats. If my cats were making porn, Willa would be famous for her ass shots, while Cain would style himself after the famous Burt Reynolds Playgirl spread. I'm just sayin'.

Up To No Good

2011-10-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

Since I have been wearing RED lipstick in many hues, I paid $125 for a dental cleaning. I may have to break my Target ban to go over and purchase some deluxe whitening toothpaste.

It seems like I will be getting unemployment--I haven't gotten a payment yet due to the vacation payout, but I have been filing weekly claims and the woman who called to ask me questions said I almost certainly would be able to collect.

I wish someone was watching The Good Wife (season 2, just released on DVD) with me. We could discuss Eli Gold and his teenage nemesis Becca, whether Kalinda's superpowers stem from her boots or are due to the fact she's probably Canadian, Blake Calamari, why Diane Lockhart (and Christine Baranski) could mop the floor with Zooey Deschanel* in both her fictional and real-life personalities and why we would watch that, and the double and triple crossing going on in order to solidify control of the firm. It's really one of the best shows ever, all.

I gave up Coke a week ago.

If you paint your nails navy blue, it makes your hands look thinner and your fingers longer.

I am dogsitting out in Apache Junction for the next week. I shall take pictures of the mountains, but I should also come up with some ideas of things to do out that way. Trouble is, there is not much to do out that way, huh huh. Except hike. I also need some projects for here in town.

*I just finished watching two episodes of The New Girl, and my, does it suck.

Random Tidbits

2011-09-30T14:25:00.000-07:00

Aces and I are trying to get Luna The Fashion Kitty to appear at Peaches' birthday party. A tricycle, a dress with goats on it and a guest kitty--don't that sound like the perfect birthday for a 2 year old? And cake, of course.

The Scottsdale escort agency is looking for a weekend manager again. I am again tempted to apply, although furthering prostitution through effective management makes me feel gross. But life experience equals material, and I feel I have little life experience, hence the vague interest in the job.

I just learned this week that the song "Whistle Bait" is a rockabilly classic, and not written by Frank Portman as I had assumed. I am so dense sometimes.

I fell for the "only at Fry's" advertisement for the SweeTango apple. They taste better at room temperature. The flavor comes out as more complex, but it's still very sweet. The name is ridiculous, though.

Bountiful Baskets Excitement!

2011-09-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

I got fruits and veg from Bountiful Baskets again. In my share there was:

1 PINEAPPLE!
8 bananas (much riper than last time)
1 pound or so of green grapes
3 Asian apple-pears
6 plums
6 Ginger Gold apples
5 nectarines

1 head iceberg lettuce
2 cukes
3 onions
2 red peppers
2 green peppers
7 very unripe Roma tomatoes

I also got the extra vegetable offering, the Asian Vegetable Pack, for $8.50. In it was:

lemongrass
basil
garlic
ginger
1 head bok choy
1 head Napa cabbage
2 bunches of green onions
1 daikon radish
1 Japanese eggplant

I am going to make pickles out of the daikon and the carrots I have from 2 weeks ago, and maybe make bahn mi. Stir fried bok choy? Maybe some hot pot? Any suggestions?

It's National Single And Unmarried Adults Week

2011-09-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

WHERE'S MY FLOWER ARRANGEMENT!

Seriously, more musings on singledom later. But first, a song!

Links!

2011-09-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

You can own the entire run of Law & Order for $700. No, I am not that crazy.

Miss Minimalist wrote this great piece on decluttering your fantasy self. As someone who found decluttering the items associated with her desired self as a vintage-wearing, clothes sewing, book expert, I can attest that that's some of the hardest work to do to come to acceptance of yourself.

Sloane Crosley wrote this great piece about some wonderful antique jewelry she owns, complete with pictures. However, what gives the story depth is not that it's an inheritance from her grandmother, but that her grandmother was a caustic bitch.

Look at this estate jewelry. I don't know what makes me swoon more, the Cupid's arrow earrings or the tiger claws.

How to make a dowager countess hat. Best crafts project ever, as it starts with something you could buy at the dollar store and pays homage to Maggie Smith's character on Downton Abbey. Which you should totally watch.

I know I linked to this before in an attack of bad taste, but play with the Mad Men avatars.

Willow the Cat shows up in Manhattan 5 years after disappearing from Colorado. Didn't you just cry when you saw this story? And resolve to chip your pets just in case?

Who are the character actors you'll watch in the most esoteric scenes you can find on Netflix?

My Thrift and Cleverness Make Me Giddy

2011-09-20T12:47:00.000-07:00

I just made wonderful soup that used up quite a lot of bits and pieces. I have my next Bountiful Baskets pickup on Saturday, and so have to make room in the fridge.

I found this Sweet Potato, Sausage and Kale Soup in an older issue of Cooking Light. I have reasons for keeping them around, I tell you. This recipe was brilliant as it will freeze well, and took care of my "OMG, I am so spacey because I forget to eat PROTEIN all day" realization. There is not enough coffee milk in the world to help space brain caused by not eating protein. Peanut butter packet, stat!

It used up:

4 little sweet potatoes from BB
3 chicken apple sausages left over from my party last week
1 can of white beans that hadn't made it into Tuscan tuna salad yet, and probably never would
1 onion
Handfuls upon handfuls of these mixed greens (collards, mustard, spinach and turnip) that I bought at Trader Joe's in a fit of indirect peer pressure from Dusie. (She has an excellent diet. I do not. Therefore, when we shop together there's unspoken sisterly pressure completely manufactured by me to up my game.)

I seasoned it with some Penzey's Old World Seasoning and some shakes from a Trader Joe's Everyday Seasoning (Product of South Africa) grinder. That made it nice and savory, with a bit of kick.

Hooray!

True Confession: I Suck At Being Unemployed, Guys

2011-09-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

The "Rules for Unemployment?" I'm having a great deal of trouble living by them. By noon on Monday, all I could think was "God, I hope the library calls soon for me to volunteer, because I do not know what to do with myself!" But I did throw a little party on Thursday night. This required me to agonize, clean, cook, and move all my clutter to my bedroom.

The shame. I haven't done yoga, I'm on season 5 of Midsomer Murders (where it's gotten completely ridiculous, with bellringers getting killed, Sgt. Troy getting hit on, the police breaking and entering, and the suspension of disbelief is killing me as well as putting me to sleep) and I woke up at 11 am yesterday.

I am someone who needs to leave the house to get anything done, so I will start hanging out at GateWay next week. I also have book club on Monday, group on Tuesday (I am also getting acupunctured that day), and the art museum with my mom on Wednesday. Exciting.

In Which I Regret I'm Not Entrepreneurial

2011-09-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

So what I should have been doing yesterday morning was standing outside Target by 7am to get in for Missoni!Fest. Their website crashed, and customers ran through the stores scooping up anything with stripes to run home and list on eBay by 9 am. There is a Target less than 1,000 steps from my front door.* Even I am a bit disappointed in my lack of verve and willingness to push and beat up my fellow consumers for ugly limited edition items. The trouble is I thought it was all ugly and matched nothing in my house. Plus, I know that I did not inherit The Eye. Dusie has The Eye--that's why she's an antiques dealer and I am not. She can buy items knowing what she can resell, how quickly and for how much. For me, it is the equivalent of just giving the casino my $20 and not even playing the slots.

*My iPod has a pedometer. I know the exact number of steps to and from a variety of locations in my 'hood. Library and back? 3500. To old workplace? 1200. Target, once around the perimeter and back? 2800.

You Thought I Was Joking About Tuesdays And Thursdays, Didn't You?

2011-09-13T17:58:00.000-07:00

Because I got a call at 9:45 this morning from Dusie asking if I wanted to watch Peaches' swim school lesson and go out to lunch with her and my mom, since they were in the neighborhood and could pick me up. And on Thursday I am taking the bus to Ikea, where I will meet up with Dusie and Peaches to eat lunch, toddler wrangle (she likes to try out big girl beds), and help my sister haul a bookcase around.

Bountiful Baskets And Meal Plans

2011-09-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

I picked up my first basket from Bountiful Baskets on Saturday. For $15, I received:

1 pound green beans
1 head curly romaine lettuce
1 head cauliflower
2 pounds carrots
4 small sweet potatoes
1 box of 8 Brown Turkey figs
6 bananas
About 1.5 pounds little Thompson seedless grapes
4 large peaches
3 pears
7 little Italian prune plums

The fruit is mostly unripe, but the vegs are in good shape. The cauliflower is being paired and roasted with Indian spices for a cocktail party to celebrate unemployment on Thursday. The carrots might be turned into this carrot and lentil dish. The sweet potatoes will be roasted and paired with corn and black beans for a salad. But what to do with the figs? Suggestions are welcome!

It's Not Like I Have To Go To Work Tomorrow

2011-09-11T20:21:00.000-07:00

So yes, I have sat in my cubicle like a disfavored Japanese salaryman for the past 2 weeks. That's how they force people out the door over there--they just don't give them any work and ignore their presence. The whole thing is awfully dehumanizing.

I actually didn't stay all day Friday--I just couldn't bear it any longer. I gave in my stuff, went home, made myself a celebratory BLT and took a 3 hour nap. I had been up late watching Aces do comedy in a dive bar in the near west side of town. And drinking.

Tomorrow starts the hard part--actually living by the Rules for Unemployment. Especially since I have gotten hooked on this mindless British television series called Midsomer Murders. I must try to restrain myself.

I Want To Work There!

2011-09-09T17:58:00.000-07:00

Links I Like

2011-09-04T14:29:00.000-07:00

It's prickly pear season here in Arizona. You can pick them off tons of cactus planted as foliage and along medians. However, getting your gleanings off the plants is pretty hard work, as well as turning them into a usable ingredient.

Burning Man is a business.

TEAM Arizona is the motorcycle school where I will take lessons before I get my scooter. Aren't you all relieved that I will get proper training and won't kill myself off the bat?

Manicures! From Jezebel and The Beauty Department, 1930's style half-moon manicures and how to get them. I love these and am so tempted, but my nailpolish collection does not currently have any colors that would look good together.

Cal State professor runs a meth ring. The godawful facial hair was the tipoff.

Gravenstein apples are threatened in Sonoma County, as grapes are a more profitable crop. Sad, but part of the cycle of farming.

Why summer vacations and the internet make you more productive. I have an urge to send this anonymously to the management at my soon-to-be-former place of employment.

A great discussion on the issues farmers and etsy sellers face in setting the retail and wholesale prices for their goods.

Arizona sneaks around Roe v Wade to limit abortion by making it so only doctors can perform abortions. Sigh. I'm not surprised.

Head's up hikers, it's really hot in Arizona. Take extra water. But what are the ethical considerations of sharing your water with other hikers?

And in honor of Labor Day, did you hear about the Hershey's factory foreign student workers protesting their working conditions?

Rules For Unemployment

2011-09-01T19:02:00.000-07:00

Since my previous bouts of unemployment have been marked by paralysis and not getting shit done, I developed a list of rules to follow this time along. In no particular order, they are:

Monday, Wednesday and Friday are for job hunting. Tuesday and Thursday are for household chores and visiting.

This is because I know that unless I have a particular time to turn to cleaning off my balcony, sort papers, do laundry, etc., I will do that and procrastinate on writing cover letters.

Also, my sister will want me to come over and hang out, and she and Peaches are the best distractions.

You will read 1 book per week.

My reading of items with covers has been sparse. Face it, unless I make it a priority all I read is the internet.

You are banned from Target after September 9th.

I'm not a crazy Target shopper, but it is a source of Coke, frozen lasagna, expensive watermelon, and other junk food. I don't need that.

You will wear work clothes Monday, Wednesday, Friday--ironed. And makeup.

Because being dressed up and looking nice gives one confidence. Plus, I love my work clothes.

Sleeping is from 9-5 (pm to am)

Yes, I go to bed at 9pm.

There is daily am yoga, 2 cups of coffee only, and oatmeal for breakfast.

From the Crimson Conquest: "Gah! Is this bootcamp or something?"

The bike is to be used for transport whenever possible.

The Crimson Conquest said, "So that will start in October...?" since it's so hot outside, but I have faith it will cool down soon.

You have Freedom installed--use it.

Freedom is a program for Macs that cuts off your internet and makes you do other things. In case one spends too much time clicking on Twitter and Facebook...

No Netflix until after 6 pm.

This is during the week--it's a little strict for weekends too.

That 20 yoga class Groupon that expires in November? Use it.

It's a way to get out of the house and exercise.

Sit at your desk.

As opposed to laying on the bed, or lounging on the futon. Discipline!

Don't lose touch with people.

I am making plans to go to Happy Hour with Winter and the Crimson Conquest on a regular basis. And the Cupcake Love-in with the Huntress.

Network.

As suggested by my therapist.

No Coke!

Well, we have to have a reward other than a paycheck and benefits.

Resources For Unemployment: Food and Healthcare

2011-09-01T07:04:00.000-07:00

So I won't be without healthcare while I am unemployed. I intend to sign up for the NP Care program, a low cost clinic run by the ASU College of Nursing for the uninsured.

And then there is the food co-op Bountiful Baskets.

I had heard of them before, but when I saw Poor Girl, Rich Food's latest basket, my interest was reawakened. And the pickup is at a park about a mile from where I live, and on Saturday morning. It's kismet. It's like a CSA in that the food is random and regional, but it's only $16.50 ($26.50 for the organic baskets). There are also other add-ons you can order, such as a box of oranges, bread, granola or the tropical box.

True Confessions: Let's Embrace Mistakes, Kerry

2011-08-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

First, a little context--I have been out at the Marlboro Mesa since Tuesday night taking care of Harley and the house. Dusie, Jesse X and the baby all went to New Jersey for Jesse X's dad's retirement party. Yes, they got caught by Irene. They will be back Tuesday afternoon instead of today.

So when I stay out here I can drive the Honda. And on Wednesday morning as I went to my apartment to change, I crunched my sister's car on the pylon on one side of my parking space. The car is driveable, and I was able to continue watching Harls. And I emailed Dusie and Jesse X immediately to let them know what Idiot Sister had done. Dusie didn't yell at me, she just told me not to worry and that it was just a car.

I have to confess that my first instinct is intense fear that I'm going to be yelled at. There were so many rages for just little things and mistakes in my childhood, that even though I know that people make mistakes, I feel sometimes that I have to be perfect. And sometimes I wonder now if I am not being hard enough on myself, the reason why I keep fucking up is because I am not harder on myself.

Then I checked my messages on Thursday. I had gotten a call about an application I had sent in for a really cool job, and missed the phone message with my changeover to the new phone and everything. Too late for an interview. Let's embrace our mistakes some more, Kerry!

And then also on Thursday, I got told I was getting fired and my last day is September 9th. I was already planning to leave in October after the reports were published. And this wasn't unexpected --I am a crappy auditor, but it's an insane job. And I have savings put aside and will be okay--I was already applying for jobs and preparing a stockpile of necessities. But yeah, fired, and they want me to keep it quiet and keep showing up for 2 weeks. As Aces said, "Firing--ur doin it rong." I'm telling my closest work friends, of course. And using some as references and keeping in touch.

So, yeah. A crappy week. Hugs?

Completely Gratuitous Cat Picture Below

2011-08-22T16:42:00.000-07:00

Keep It In Your Pantry

2011-08-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, Cookbook cleaned out her pantry. Hilarity and shame ensued. I was inspired, but very lazy. A long time went by.

Yesterday I decided to clean out my pantry, a hot and sweaty process that includes having to watch where I put my feet, because my pantry also holds the cats' litterboxes. My oh my, was this illuminating. I decided to get it in some sort of order and eat out of the pantry for a bit to figure out what I really have and need. Peanut/almond butter? Tea? Dried fruit? Take away my debit card if I've got any of that in my basket.

I ran out of room/motivation when it came time to sort out the dried fruit and nuts and the pasta section. As I finish out some other food, I will have to move items around.

Strange things I found:

Couscous--I have philosophical differences with couscous. It is a pasta product, but pretends to be a grain. Let's not encourage subterfuge on behalf of the refined flour products. Why then, do I have 2 boxes of the Near East Herbed Chicken Couscous, and 16 ounces of unflavored bulk couscous? Why?

One six pack of hefweizen--Since it's over a year old, I have removed it to the bathroom to use as a hair conditioner. What? My grandmother used to do it.

One six pack of San Pellegrino Limonata--This shit is sour. I removed it to the "Cocktail Hour" section of the pantry. Oh yes, I now have a Cocktail Hour section. Clearly, if my fantasy self can't make cocktail parties a reality, I need to throw more with myself and the cats in attendance. I believe Willa is the sort of cat who gets silly on coconut rum, while Cain is a vodka cat. We will eat crackers with cheese and cornichons. Because I have some of those in my pantry too.

Three bags of brown sugar--Of course each is half-used. But strangely, not yet hard as a rock. Hmmm.

Three cans pumpkin in 2 different sizes--Well, we know who will make pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving.

Cherry balsamic vinegar--Suggestions for its use are greatly appreciated.

3 half pints of the cherry peach bourbon jam I made last summer--Did anyone ever eat that, aside from the Huntress? She thought it was delicious.

A quarter of a bag of apricots that had turned brown and hard--Somethings are just not worth the attempts to resuscitate.

So pretty now!

Now That We're Staring At The Second Recession, Will We Get Better Memoirs?

2011-08-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

I read this older article on the poor reception for books dealing with the current economic crisis with interest (Yes, I view everything since 2008 as part of the current economic fuckup--it's all tied together). The idea that reading about the ultrawealthy losing everything to Bernie Madoff and having to scrimp not really flying with America's middle class is classic understatement.

Of course, I am eagerly awaiting W. Hodding Carter's book about frugal living. Oh, and the accompanying movie . I only hope it is in the genre of dipshit dad, as his story deserves to be depicted.

Could this bring Amy Daczyn out of retirement for an epic Mainer frugality showdown? We can only hope.

Even though it's very Oregon-centric, I do like Felisa Rogers' scavenger series for Salon. The core values of practical living in her stories are what I appreciate. And the fact that she admits she has no other choice but to make 6 dozen eggs, nettles, and scrounged mushrooms work for her and her husband. That attitude of "my back's to the wall but I I'll go down swinging" is more my style than Carter's showmanship.

So Dull and Boring, You May Not Want To Read This After All

2011-08-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

Once again, I made the cherry cornmeal upside down cake. I picked up what is almost certainly the last cherries of the season for $3/lb at Costco on Friday. A 3 pound package yields enough for the cake and some satisfactory eating.

I believe this cake is foolproof as long as you keep in mind it comes out kind of ugly, but fabulously delicious. And with ice cream or coffee? Maybe whipped cream? Oh, baby.

As for me, I am having a home day. I had home days 2.5 days this week already (I played sick since there was little to do at work). Because I did not have a to do list, it was time wasted. Well, not wasted--I read a fascinating memoir of life with bipolar disorder, read some other stuff, applied for jobs, watched videos on the Benefit site and played with makeup. Now I have a to do list of things like "Clean kitchen." Boorrriingg.

I also wanted to start reading One Day since the film is out and I've had a copy since Genevieve recommended it to me back in February.

Tomorrow I am having breakfast with my mom, and maybe we will run errands and formulate an exciting plan for adventure! After all, she has a car.

The Job I have No Skills For, But Would Love To Have

2011-08-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Benefit Cosmetics Retail Account Manager. I would kill to have had any retail experience I could spin into this job. Wouldn't it be fun? And all the makeup you could wear! You'd get the best Christmas presents from me too.

I feel like painting my face right now.

Best Compliment Ever

2011-08-18T12:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I played hooky, and after therapy I walked 8 blocks to the Trader Joe's. I did this at 1pm when it was 109 degrees, for the love of Mike, and I went to Trader Joe's because there was more shade on the walk then the way to Sprouts. Also, Torched Goodness, the mobile creme brulee truck was at the farmer's market until 2pm with Honey Orange Creme Brulee. I know what's important.

So after I loaded up on goodies at Trader Joe's, I had them call me a cab (I had forgotten my phone). And who picked me up? Wilfred, the cabbie who has given me a ride before! So I climb in and let him know where I'm going (which is partly how he recognizes me) and we chat for a few and then he asks me, "Are you an American?"

"Well, yes--why do you ask?"

"You are always dressed so nice! In a skirt! Out here no one dresses up, they just throw on anything!"

"Thank you!" You are so sweet!"

I was wearing a purple t-shirt and a stretchy gray skirt with black sandals and a tan straw hat, for the record. Nothing special, but hey, a girl needs all the appreciation she can get.

Women In Comics

2011-08-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

An interview with Kate Beaton of "Hark, A Vagrant!"

And a conversation with Trina Robins about early superheroine comics. Trina Robbins is totally awesome, as a feminist, as a comics historian and as a legendary comics creator! And I've met her! We used to belong to the same thrifting Yahoo! group and when she came out to Columbus for a symposium at University of Ohio a bunch of us met up with her. Her newest book sounds really cool.

How I Spent My Relaxation Weekend

2011-08-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness.

It's like my blood pressure is normal or something. Or I had a bad massage--I'm not so relaxed that it's like I had a good massage, but a bad massage is better than no massage.

I only worked a half day on Friday. Then I went to Happy Hour at Applebee's with The Crimson Conquest and a new friend. Did you know that they serve their sangria in a size called "Mucho?" Granted, half of it is ice and garnishes, but two of those and a appetizer plus tip is $14. And while I wasn't so intoxicated that I made impulse purchases over at the Target.

Saturday, Dusie picked me up with a sleeping Peaches. She had put on her kitty socks in order to visit with Cain, who is the patient and less cranky and afraid cat who doesn't mind a little girl petting him. So we went out for Vietanamese food at Cyclo, which Peaches woke up for so she could have tofu and share my beef noodle soup. Then we went to their house to wait for Baba to come over.

Peaches showed me her newest toy. It is a little electronic reader int he shape of Violet the dog who you scan over some little books and it does interactive talking in different voices, makes noise, and tells you to pick out different things in the picture. Dusie said, "Do you hate that toy?" Yes, I kind of do, but maybe some of it was the Thomas the Tank Engine.

Then we went to my house, where my mom and Dusie read while Peaches petted Cain and then we read Catch That Baby! three times in a row and ate cherries. Peaches liked that book because she is also a baby who likes to run around naked.

Then I cleaned up my closet. Today I ran errands and cleaned other things. Blah blah. But a clean house makes me happy.

As for an adventure, I might next week go to Ikea. On the bus. I need hangers and a new shoe holder thing.

And this is the most boring but satisfying and relaxing weekend I've had in a long time.

Whoo Hooo!

2011-08-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is a whoop of sheer joy. Both the projects I have been working on are at the agency, and I have it easy for a while. Whoo hoo! This is after I worked both days last weekend.

What shall I do with myself? There is happy hour tomorrow night. But Saturday and Sunday are free. I saw my baby last weekend. She says "Kitty cat!" "Hawaii" and "Haru" now. And we read a really great book that sneaks a pooping giraffe picture into the mix when it gets too serious. She laughed and laughed. It was the best part of my week.

I have also discovered that the cherries at Costco are totally awesome, and purchased 6 pounds this week. 3 have been eaten already.

So any other suggestions? Other than that I am going to apply for jobs, read, bake that damn cherry cornmeal cake again, and clean. And rearrange my bedroom.

Oh my god, I might have an adventure!

Proof My Sister Is Beautiful, Witty and Charming

2011-08-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

She was the best at comedy night that night--she killed.

Holidays There Are No Cards For

2011-08-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

It's Andy Warhol's birthday today! Happy Birthday, Andy. My favorite dead artist!

It's also 2 years since the deed in lieu of foreclosure went through on my house. Wow!

Let Me Share An Earworm

2011-08-05T01:07:00.000-07:00

You'll thank me later. Really.

How To Get Mental Health Help

2011-08-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

It's a roundup of articles on depression and mental illness that I found interesting but haven't had a chance to highlight for you yet.

First off, let's talk about finding a therapist and affording it. It's not simple even when you're well. The Consumerist had a thread on how to find an affordable source of mental health help

Jezebel discussed how to find a therapist and La Belette Rouge, who is a therapist herself, went into further detail on how to find the best therapist for you. Warning: it's intensive, so you may want to move on this when you're not in crisis.

Time for a laugh: take a look at this cool Woot! shirt.

Antidepressants are effective.

Another possibility for finding a therapist is web therapy.

Colleges are dealing with more and more serious mental illnesses in their students.

Men have different therapeutic needs than women. Mostly for someone who understands manly reactions to situations, which since most therapists are women, can be hard to find.

So, what comes first, weight gain or depression? Chicken, egg. It depends on the person and the illness.

Talking to teens about suicide.

Dear Sugar is the best advice columnist after Carolyn Hax. She takes on what to do with a depressed teenager.

Bestselling author Marian Keyes, who writes a lot about mental health themes, is open about her own depression. People are assholes to her.

Kerry Reads The Paper!

2011-08-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of older stories I really liked.

Performance artists almost put a store out of business. They bought all the stock for their art project, but the unintended consequence was that the store has no product and is on the brink of going under.

Groupon is a highly regimented joke writing business as well as a coupon seller. Which is weird, because I don't even read the "funny" descriptions of the product or deals--I usually know just from the location, price, and product if I want to purchase it or not. But I know of some people who could do a great job of writing the descriptions--Bridget Callahan, I think a future job is calling you.

Single People Need Work-Life Balance Too

2011-07-31T09:13:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago my attention was drawn to the work-life balance profiles on Cup of Jo. And as I was reading, I was increasingly reminded that my life as a single woman with a demanding job is out of balance. And why does no one ever talk about that?

Let's get this straight: It's not like I don't know or appreciate that it's 10 thousand times harder to do everything with a small person with an immature immune system and few words. But even if you don't have them small folk around gumming up the works, it's hard to work in everything you are supposed to/want to do. Which is why in all those profiles, there was a notable lack of good sleep habits on the part of the mothers.

I don't have that precisely--the meds I am require I sleep 8 hours a night, at least (I like to go to bed at 9pm and get up at 5am). In the meantimes, I work 40-50 hours a week, often on weekends too. I'd also like to see Peaches more than I do, also most conveniently on the weekend, so carve out about 4 hours there. I should work out, and not just as part of doing my activities. I do a big grocery shop once every two weeks when I get paid. I should be doing more social things, writing more, reading more, keeping a clean house, brushing the cats, being creative, "taking care of myself"--I feel cut off from the life I'd like to have because work demands so much of me. I just see a lack of fun in my life, and a feeling I should be doing more than I am. Part of it is that my brain is so worn out there's little energy or creativity at the end of the day.

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you address it?

Things One Could Spend Money On

2011-07-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

I can't tell if these shoes are awesome or ugly. I think the striped ones are okay, but not the flowered ones

And $50 sunscreen? I'd like a free sample of that!

Hot N' Sweaty Summer--The Everything Else Edition

2011-07-29T06:14:00.000-07:00

Right. So I did buy the tiger print skirt and I wore it Monday. First thing out of my two closest work friends' mouths was "Whoa! That's not the typical Kerry skirt, but that's a good look, Kerry!"

I also bought a similar full skirt in a bright grassy green, and I love it too. I feel so sophisticated. I promise I will get Aces to take a picture of me.

That's not my dog. Rocky is the dog I dogsat for last month. He was very sweet, but that was the only good photo I got of him.

I heartily endorse Benefit's "They're Real!" mascara--I got a sample, and I feel it is amazing. I think it gives me subtly longer eyelashes. Doll eyes!

Other than that, all I do is work. Which is part of why I am looking for a new job.

This Is Sweet Rocky

2011-07-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

I Wonder What Evil He Is Wrecking On His New Owners

2011-07-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

Sweet, loving evil.

No One Knows About Persian Cats

2011-07-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

I saw a great film this week, No One Knows About Persian Cats. It's available on Netflix streaming. This will sound incredibly corny, but it made me feel grateful for America and was very thought-provoking.

So, Negar and Askhan are indie rock musicians living in Tehran, where being a musician means dodging the neighbors who will report you to the police and soundproofing every bit of your performance space to avoid detection. Askhan has just been released from jail for playing music. They dream about leaving Tehran for a tour of Europe and emigrating, and are referred by a producer friend to Nader, a movie and music bootlegger who has underground connections for getting them fake papers to leave Iran. Nader wants them to play a concert to play one last show before they leave Tehran, and takes them to all his other musician friends to line up bands and audition others for leaving for the European tour. So cut into lots of different music video type montages is their story about the struggle of making music illicitly and anxiety about getting out of Iran.

It's just incredible to think about living in a place where women aren't allowed to sing in public, where the police will come and arrest you for being at a party where music is playing, where there's no freedom of expression and media is censored.

Here's a NPR story on the film with more details about the filmmakers. If you have Netflix, go watch it.

Hot N' Sweaty Summer--Food Edition

2011-07-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

I feel terrible for everyone in more humid climates who is putting up with scorching heat. Here there is a/c everywhere at least. And the low humidity here in AZ keeps it comfortable. I keep it at about 78-80 in my apartment. And my crappy apartment's a/c is free, which is helpful when I have to do something like re-season my cast iron skillet and bake it in a 200 degree oven all night.

So, I've been experimenting. The chicken apple sausage sucked, but I have perfected my iced tea recipe. I also have been enjoying my Iced Coffee French Press, and saving the money with that. It's probably zucchini fritter night tonight, and I have to start cleaning out my fridge, as I have a delivery from The Fruit Guys coming on Monday. Don't ask--it involves a Groupon and low-impulse control. I am using up all the groupon-type things I have purchased.

Perfect Iced Tea

5 Lipton tea bags
Juice of 1 lemon
3/4 cup sugar
5 cups water

Make tea in a pitcher. Add sugar and lemon. Stir. It will be perfect, I promise.

I also bought these cute cucumbers at the downtown farmer's market today--the round one is a Hungarian variety and the white one is called Dragon's Egg. Any favorite cuke uses?

Adventures In Summer Cooking

2011-07-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

I admit it, between work and summer and things in general I have been a bit down. And I have been completely out of inspiration on things to eat.

But yesterday I finally got my ass in gear and made a shopping list based off my 9,000 stray recipes box. So hopefully some of these ideas will work out.

Tomato mozzarella basil salad--This is today's lunch
Chicken apple sausage burgers--This is a recipe I've made before, liked enough to keep, but not enough to make again. So let's give it another shot before we toss it.
Zucchini fritters, with applesauce and sour cream--Thanks to Anne for the inspiration for this.
Cheddar corn pancakes--Another blog I read mentioned cornmeal pancakes, and then I saw this old Gourmet recipe I'd clipped.
Bourbon cherries--Hey, when cherries are $2/pound a little experimentation is a must. I'm not going out and buying brandy when I've got plenty of bourbon in the house.

I also went on a little expedition to Fleur de Teas up 16th St & Bethany Home Road to use up a Groupon I'd bought. It is such a nice little store, and Holly was totally awesome to talk to and get a recommendation for product. Their selection of black tea is much better than it looks on their site, which she admits is a work in progress. They will have another Groupon at the end of July, so if I have any local tea drinking readers...

The Science Of Single--Rachel Machacek

2011-07-10T20:36:00.000-07:00

I picked this up because Citizen Reader posted a review.

Frankly, this book made me wish Cookbook were single because together we would write a much more honest and hilarious memoir of dating. This book winds up being pretty dull even though Machacek goes on some funny bad dates. Partly this is due to the fact that's she attempting to be objective or perhaps not let everyone know all her business. Um, if you are writing a dating memoir, that is very tough, honey, as dating is the epitome of personal business. And she's got the "science" angle to it, which is not much of a science at all--basically she tries all sorts of dating services, bind dates, "It's Just Lunch", dating in other cities, consulting a dating coach and following dating guide advice. My office's methodologist would find this very flawed.

You can't be objective about dating. It's too individualized, as a decade or so of DateLab archives can show you. You bring your own issues and preferences to the table and trying to make it with someone else should get you to confront them. For instance, my issues are:

Independence issues--because my parents ignored me, I am very comfortable in relationships where I am ignored. Attention kind of freaks me out.
Mental health issues--the depression, the anxiety, the crazy make me the Kerry you know and love.
Not really knowing how to make small talk--again, as my therapist said, when you don't have a family that does this you don't really know how.
Seeing red flags everywhere--I admit it, I prejudge. Hence the no geeks and gamers thing.

I know, i SHOULD BE SO MUCH FUN TO DATE. Line up, men!

Machacek isn't interested in exploring her her issues or letting the reader know what they are, although she acknowledges she's in therapy (nothing wrong with that!) But you sort of get the feeling that she's not giving the dating thing her all, or enjoying it, and that she's holding back. She also really doesn't want to have to meet a potential husband sort through any of these online dating service or other "unnatural" ways--she wants a chemistry- filled meeting in a natural setting, like her parents who met in an adult education class. She just gives mixed messages to the reader throughout the book. An example of this is how she approaches sex--she doesn't want it to seem like she's made a decision to have sex, that she just goes along with it in the moment. Like the time she goes out with the sex-aggressive guy from eHarmony, stays over at his place, and then just acquiesces when she wakes up to a naked guy who mentions he's got condoms. Um, honey? It's not a shame to want sex. That's one of your issues right there.

I did pick up some good ideas from this book--to try the Onion personals and to be more forward in my dating pursuits. But I really regret the time I spent reading this book.

Updates

2011-07-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

I followed Genevieve's advice and bought the good house blend from Echo Coffee. Aces introduced me to this place a few months back and its my new favorite--much better than Royal Coffee, and only a 10 minute bus ride. It makes some good iced coffee, but I still have to work on proportions.

And Old Navy! I wore a skirt I purchased from them on Friday, one that I haven't even washed and as I was smoothing my skirt after visiting the ladies', it tore. Not along a seam, but the actual cotton jersey fabric just let go. I had to staple the edges together to be decent enough to walk home and change and not show my hiney to all and sundry. I have contacted them to give it back and get a refund; this is just ridiculous and I want my $30 back. So be wary of Old Navy!

Oh, and you heard about what's been going on here in Phoenix, land of 118 degree days and gigantic haboobs. I missed the dust storm entirely, but Genevieve sent me pictures. Well, my apartment complex has slid a few more degrees into decrepitude. One of the olive trees split in half last night and could have killed someone. They started to clean it up before I could take a picture, but as it was one of the larger trees round here it made me sad. Our pool is now padlocked due to a warning from the Maricopa Environmental Quality Division because the water quality was so bad, and the Fire Department also have issues with the flimsy construction of the gate. Way to go! I might move. I don't use the pool, but this place is getting me down.

On The Topic Of Dating...

2011-07-08T17:51:00.000-07:00

I'm currently writing a review of a dating memoir, but to tide you over on the topic I wanted to throw out a couple of links. There was a great post and a ton of comments this week on Cup of Jo about dating dealbreakers--go read it.

And here is the famous Washington Post Date Lab archives.

What I've Been Up To: The Sartorial Edition

2011-07-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

First off, feel free to weigh in on what I am currently stalking--Talbot's tiger print pleated skirt.

So what I like to put on eye makeup in the evening when I am stressed out by work. Yes, I realize that is a little odd. But it's kind of meditative, putting on eye makeup. I am practicing cat's eyes eyeliner, a look that will never play at the office. I currently really like this specially priced summer palette, Stunning in Sayulita Yes, I did buy some makeup after saying I wouldn't because of the cost of the kittens. But it makes me look so healthy!

I also bought 3 pair sandals and a pair of sneakers. I may have to face up to the fact that my feet are actually wide and not normal width. I bought a pair of sandals in W, and wore them yesterday with no blisters. Hmmm. You mean that breaking in shoes is not supposed to be an arduous process in which you scab up your feet.

I also bought some cheap clothing from Old Navy and hate myself for it. It really is flimsy fast fashion. Two cotton cardigans and a tunic are handwash only because the fabric is so thin that the washing machine would destroy it. The clothes themselves are nicely designed though.

So, what have you all been doing to make yourselves prettier?

What I've Been Up To: The Gustatorial Edition

2011-07-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

Work has started to sap my brain once again. I have done some cooking for relaxation.

For instance, I made this Cherry Limeade. Quite delicious, although I might cut down the sugar a little next time and make extry and leave out the club soda/seltzer. A warning: do not mix with half a bitty airplane bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin. You may fall asleep on the futon for 3 hours on Sunday afternoon, even though said futon is covered with crap. Gin is dangerous, little chickens! Why do you think it's so good for drugging babies? Babies love gin! And creamed herring.

Obviously I don't get to babysit much.

I also made these Sloppy Joes With Corn. I used Trader Joe's Roasted Corn, and added extra spice and tomato paste. Toast the buns, as it helps keep the sandwich together. Delicious. So much better than the sickly sweet sloppy joe mix from the can. Plus, vegetables, you know.

Also, I need to let you know that peer pressure is dangerous. Not only does it have me contemplating plunking down a ton for a CSA that will not be as good as Cookbook's, but based on all that interweb chatter of the last month on OMG! Iced Coffee! I took some of my dogsitting cash and bought a French Press Iced Coffee Maker. Yes, I know that there's tons of cheaper ways to make such a beverage. But I need a way that does it with less mess and taking up less fridge space, and does not require cheesecloth. Crackers kittens, it's not like I clean the fridge much ever anyway. Plus, it pays for itself within 10 drinks from Starbucks. I just need a recommendation for good iced coffee beans--Folgers is not cutting it.

Links

2011-07-04T09:39:00.000-07:00

Why are there fewer cycling women in NYC? Danger and fashion.

Looking for an intelligent tv program to glom onto? Canada's Intelligence has been called its version of The Wire. I've seen all the episodes on Netflix streaming--it is a great show ended too soon.

How To Talk To Little Girls. Basically, please try not to make the first words out of your mouth a compliment about how cute or pretty she is. Ask some questions. Maybe pick up a book with her.

I can't stand Marketplace Money. Whenever I listen to it, I feel like throwing something. In this piece, Tess Vigeland displays her ignorance by admitting she actually took Zillow's estimates of home prices seriously even before it recently reworked its algorithm. Having lived in a place where Zillow was wildly inaccurate, I have to wonder what rock she lives under. I don't find Zillow at all accurate.

At least they sound a little shocked at the people they dug up for a story about people who bought too much house, stripped the equity and defaulted, but now think they should get another mortgage.

Why Did Wild Nail Polish Go Mainstream?

"And that's why you should learn to pick your battles" is just masterful comedy writing.

For the holiday, How To Make A Pimm's Cup. Okay, it's inappropriate to make a quintessential British drink on the 4th of July, but it is delicious.

And once you are all tipsy, play a paperback game.

Disjointed

2011-07-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I had that ominous tight skin feeling on my nose. You know what I mean, that feeling when you have an incipient zit but can't see any evidence of something you can pick at and fix. So of course I couldn't stop touching and picking at it, and now I have a scraped nose. And it won't stop bleeding! So it's the most awesome beauty defect ever!

I am tired of the suburbs. It is very hard living someone else's life. Dogs make me feel more guilty than the cats do, as if we should be engaged in more activities. With the cats I can at least tell myself it's dangerous to let them outside. Dogs need walking, and even more belly rubs, and it's like having a toddler who doesn't really talk.

Speaking of toddlers who don't talk, I called my sister this week at lunch when she and Peaches were at the grocery store, and I heard Peaches singing. It was darling. She does not talk much to me or my mother, but my sister claims she is a chatterbox.

I went out for Indian lunch today, and had the most wonderful carrot and potato dish. You could taste the freshness of the carrots as if they were dug out of the field that morning.

Hell's bells, it was 118 degrees today.

Dunkin' Donuts has gall to charge $1.89 for a lousy muffin. And I am a dope for buying one.

In Which I Move My Base Of Operations

2011-06-27T19:02:00.001-07:00

So I'm out rusticatin' in the suburbs for a week. Not the Marlboro Mesa--I am dog sitting for a friend who lives in Apache Junction. This is one of those suburbs that grew ridiculously in the last 10 years, connected to the outer rim of suburbs by a 4 lane highway. It's in the foothills of the Superstition Mountains--there's a beautiful view from the front yard. The dog is a charming Golden Retriever named Rocky. I will post pictures of both the view and the dog later this week.

They loaned me the car so I could go back and forth to work, so I drop by before and after work to take care of the cats. Although Rocky would really have liked it if I brought Cain. He is fascinated by cats.

Shipwrecks--Akiro Yoshimura

2011-06-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

This book is described as "a thrilling tale of murder and retribution aet on the wild seacoast of medieval Japan" and "a stunningly powerful Gothic tale" on the cover. This sets up the novel to be more Western than this story truly is. It follows a small settlement that lives at less than subsistence level on the Japanese shore. They fish, gather some vegetation and trade in neighboring towns. One of the ways they ensure survival is by various members of the community selling themselves as indentured servants. Another is through a ritual asking the gods for an O-fune-sama, or shipwreck. The community harvests salt from the sea every winter by boiling down seawater on the shore at night, causing ships to occasionally wreck on the rocks during winter storms.

Isaku is a 9 year old whose father has become an indentured worker, leaving behind the family. Isaku is tapped in his place to take over salt distillation duties, and the story is a detailed look at his life as he matures. It also details exactly what role the O-fune-sama plays in ensuring the survival of the community, and the entirely human reactions to the bounty.

This is a very Japanese story, elegant in its surface simplicity. But that simplicity disguises the attention to detail, and Yoshimura's expert world building that makes the story fascinating.

As If SPF 15 Is Enough Protection!

2011-06-25T19:03:00.000-07:00

Doctors Dermatologic Formula Ultra-Lite Oil-Free Moisturizing Dew SPF 15--Seriously, does anyone aside from the darkest African Americans use SPF 15? It's just not enough. This moisturizer goes on okay, but at work on Friday I was feeling up my skin and could peel it off. My skin isn't that damaged.

Bliss Best of Skintentions All Types Daily Moisturizer SPF15--This is a smooth, citrus smelling moisturizer. No particularly great selling points, nothing to say against it.

It's Just One Of Those Days

2011-06-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

It was 113 today. 113! 113! I live in a place where it was 113! And it will be 112 tomorrow.

It was one of those days that starts bad. I spilled coffee on my new green dress while I was walking to work. Then when I got to work, I realized I was wearing my glasses.

While the dress is comfortable, with my hair pulled back and my glasses on, I feel I look like a frog. Not a French lady, but an amphibian.

And when a primary motivator is anxiety, even though said anxiety also causes paralysis, medicating for the anxiety causes a bit of a lack of motivation.

Ay yi yi.

The Sun's Out, Time For Sunscreen

2011-06-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

I'm still using up some of the products from the Sephora sun set I bought last summer; I haven't even started using my coupons for the good mainstream stuff this year. My nose and chin are always a little pink due to skin issues. I have to be more careful about using products to keep them from the burn. Plus my freckles are just right--not too prominent and enhanced by red lips. Have I mentioned that Peaches inherited her Daddy's skin and can tan? We still slather her with sunscreen and slap hats on her, but my sister is thrilled that her daughter might not be a giant freckle.

I have a new coworker starting Monday; I'm thinking of giving her a gift of sunblock as she is new to the area.

Ole Henriksen Herbal Day Creme with SPF 15--Light feel, easy absorption, and the scent was herbal but unidentifiable, but not like you dug up the garden. Due to the amount of Ole Henriksen samples that come my way, I feel they are just a shadow brand that exists for the free sample market, someone's cast off product cousin, not even the lesser ingredient line.

Shiseido Ultimate Sun Protection Lotion SPF 60--An extremely thin, watery lotion that you have to be careful it doesn't go everywhere. It promotes itself as "very water resistant." Perfumey smell.

What Do You Do With A Teenaged Girl?

2011-06-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

Better hope she starts a band. The Riot Grrl movement was 20 years ago. This article catches up on some of the big names of the time, and discusses what's become academic interest in the intersection of feminism, music and social protest.

What I do remember about Riot Grrl was that along with tweaking people with the kinderwhore look, the music and scene was focused on feminism, taking women seriously, and talking about things like date rape and sexual harassment and gender inequity. Which leads me to this piece by Julie Klausner, her valentine to maturity and question of why women like to behave like nonthreatening children. She thinks it's so we don't threaten the manboys, which is a viable theory. I think that adulthood and a willingness to embrace it depends on a lit of personal issues, but damn it if I don't get awed when I see women being portrayed as serious adults.

Speaking of women who walk the line between being girly and being adult, check out this excerpt of Mindy Kaling's book. It looks really good.

Tiny House--Love Or Hate?

2011-06-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

Family of 3 lives in a 320 square foot house.

So, what do you think? I'm not convinced that that's the best designed small house out there, and even with extreme family politeness it's cramped. The kid's room in particular looks like hell. And the mom seems depressed--she has flat affect.

Anyone else remember the Apartment Therapy kerfluffle when the Gillingham-Ryans said they were going to live in the 365 square foot apartment as long as they could? Granted, I think the toddler/little kid stage is the reason that would be unfeasible (and their smugness, and the $20,000 upgrade to an apartment they didn't own). Did they ever move?

I can really see a house like that for a single person--I'd love it as a retirement home.

My Dating Profile

2011-06-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

I have my online dating profile saved in a Google Doc if anyone would like to take a look and offer feedback.

Randomized Stories and Links

2011-06-11T19:34:00.000-07:00

This piece on the dangers of Zipcar is ridiculous. I know from first hand experience (my accident when I broke my arm ) that most people are underinsured. However, $300,000 is more than the minimum in many states, and most people only carry the minimum. Which is silly, because to step up to the next level is literally a pittance.

However, Zipcar did screw up my weekend. I booked a car from Saturday to Sunday am, and they had double-booked the car with another member. The solutions they offered did not work with what I had planned, so I took my 2 hours of driving credit and went home. Luckily my mom was looking for something to do, so we took a ton of stuff to Goodwill and went to lunch. But stil, it was very disappointing.

The Literary Gift Company has lots of fun pretties.

This NY Times Vows column has so much subtle snark going on, I give the marriage 3 years.

Let's Go Ride A Bike takes on the Mary Poppins Effect--are drivers nicer to feminine, dressy women on bikes as opposed to ones who look like serious cyclists?

Apparently not so in NY. A Dutch woman claims a cop threatened her with a ticket for the entirely legal activity of biking in a skirt. Apprarently her legs were a distraction to drivers. Holy Taliban, Margaret Atwood!

Life size photos of whales. These creep the beezesus out of me, you know.

The idea of kids as a safety net for your old age, and what do you do when you don't have any. Okay, so truthfully aging without children does scare me a bit. I don't think Peaches and her siblings (knock wood she has some) will be enough to help take care of the lot of us. This is one of the reasons I hope to die fairly young.

A reflection on being part of the last generation to grow up without constant technology. This is related to a post I will have up later this week.

An opinion piece that once Amazon rules library lending it's all over for e-publishing. It's a pursuasive viewpoint.

Links I Like (And A Chance To Cheer Someone Up)

2011-06-09T06:11:00.000-07:00

Blogger Kaaty Dunnet writes about minimalism, dating, and her search for a new career Which are all things I am doing at the moment myself.

Speaking of minimalism, this piece has tips on approaching decluttering as a Zen meditation exercise.

This blogger's mom has cancer. Bad Stage 4 cancer. She's asking people to send her mom postcards, and mom's been loving it. So why don't you pick one up for her?

Ambitious Or Slacker?

2011-06-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

There's a personal finance blogger I read who was recently struggling with her boyfriend's lack of ambition. I feel for her, as I myself had the unambitious boyfriend in the past, a man who has never stretched himself beyond his gaming hobby. However, as I read her post and responses, I started to consider--am I not ambitious?

I mean, I did go back for a graduate degree after being in the workforce for 5 years, a plan designed at the time to make my life better and open up more professional opportunities (ha ha hah ha ha!) Okay, that did work as I wouldn't have my current job without a Master's. But I'm not primarily motivated by money or prestige.

But what I have been ambitious about the last couple years is my mental health, I think. I can't afford to keep having cyclical bouts of depression, and a low baseline mood really does hurt me in many ways. And I've not accepted the idea that things couldn't get better for me, that I couldn't be a happier and better adjusted person. So I'm hoping that the work I've put in and my improved mood will lead to better career opportunities, and other ripples throughout my life.

Busy, Busy

2011-06-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, I just realized that I've had something going on every night since Friday.

So Dusie and I went to the Gainey Ranch Resort and Spa for this really great event. We had each paid $125 for this Arizona SpaGirls event--what happens is that that money goes to a good cause, and you get a party with free swag and refreshments and beauty treatments, and then you also get a spa treatment WITH gratuity included. It is really a holy cow good deal. Dusie likes to go to spas; I am more indifferent, but I love my sister and know this is the sort of sisterly thing she likes to do. Plus I got Moroccan oil hair treatments, and a small size Hope In A Jar (Philosophy is a local company) and a full-size cleansing milk and exfoliating powder. Dude! Swag! I love swag!

We are going to the spa on Friday. I am going to lay by the mineral pool after my massage and hopefully not get burnt. And In preparation I will shave my legs like a real lady and get my eyebrows done so I don't look so unkempt. It's a really pretty property.

Saturday was Scooter 202 at Vespa Chandler. Scooters are way cheap, yo. And scooter people are really nice. So there was a presentation on group riding by the place that can teach you to ride. and then we got walk-throughs on maintenance and helmet fitting and it was very educational. I sat on 2 Vespas but did not purchase one. ($650 down! Under $200 per month! But I am sensible and would save up and not finance.) Then I hung out with the baby, who I had not seen in 3! WHOLE! WEEKS! She has more hair and has mastered a cheerful "No!" that she uses but does not abuse.

Sunday was pretty quiet. Cain woke me up at 2:30 am though, and I couldn't fall back to sleep so I did my laundry and returned the car and SUFFERED the rest of the day. Dusie, my mom and I met up and went to Tempe Marketplace, and then my mom and I went to see Lyle Lovett and John Hiatt play together at the Mesa Arts Center. Yup, that's that show I was tempted by but didn't want to shell out for. She is such a nice mom. We realized that the last show my mom has apparently been to was a hellish Phish show in Massachusetts when Dusie was 15 or 16. I think she liked this a little more, but she doesn't like music really. The patter between them was pretty scripted, but Lyle Lovett's wit is so dry, a martini wishes it were Lyle Lovett.

Monday was The Lazy Arse's Book Club and it was really good. We meet again in 2 weeks to finish the book. There will be a review, because you should all read it.

Tonight I did not go to the other book club, because I got into work late and so had to work late and go to Target, and I'm tired, dang it. And I did not reread The Great Gatsby but I will go next month. But honestly, who hasn't read that book by age 21? And if you haven't, should you really consider yourself a well-educated adult?

Tra la la la la!

Hey! I Guest Post!

2011-06-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

I'm over at Little Big today talking about what's it's like to be a childless person reading child-centered blogs and stories. Check it out!

This Week's Bachelors

2011-06-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

I think I need to get onto a pay service. This week's bachelors are so uninspiring.

One had this as the first line of his profile: "I am a shy nerdy guy in search of someone who can be a companion to one.
I have no experience despite my age. But that is a long story for another day."

Which makes me wonder what he means by no experience--virgin? Never dated at all? Because his profile picture shows him with facepaint.

Facepaint.

Another admitted to having had recent hemorrhoid surgery. Wow, that's so sexy.

Summer Reading

2011-06-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

The Hipster Book Club's guide to books across the US might have some regionally set stories that you've missed.

And if you haven't started to amass your summer reading The LA Times guide to summer reading has some great choices.

Once again in pursuit of good reads, conversation and potential friendships, I have gone back to the GenX book club at the Scottsdale Public Library, but also joined The Lazy Arses' Book Club. I want a t-shirt for that one.

More Online Dating Bitching

2011-06-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

Why say you're just "fairly intelligent?"

Or have a screen name like "SortaDumb."

You're trying to sell yourself here.

I'm not sure how to describe my own smarts, but I do know it's an integral part of the package.

Anyone Tried Naturopathy? Or Integrative/Alternative Medicine?

2011-06-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

Here's the question for the day--should I seriously pursue some sort of alternative medicine avenue for a couple of problems I have? Have any of you got experience with alternative medicine you'd like to share? What treatments have you had?

I'm not in love with allopathic medicine, and I do believe in the interrelation of issues. For instance, I know that because of bilateral symmetry, the pain in my left hip is related to that in my right shoulder. And I also know that when I finally treated my depression with meds, and got some sleep, the pain in my arm got lots better. And as a matter of fact that bit of chronic body pain is linked to my mental state pretty closely--if I start to have a lot of pain and the sun is out and it hasn't rained, it's safe to say I am stressed about something.

So going back to my health conditions, I had a spell in 2009 in which I got my period for six months straight, and the gynecologist I'm seeing has treated that with birth control pills. This doesn't make me happy because a) the last thing I need are meds that make me photosensitive in the freaking desert and b) she's not real interested in the underlying problem, which could stem from a number of things, but which if I were a betting girl I would put $5 on Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I also have a familial history of Hashimoto's Disease (the thyroid disease you can barely diagnose even when you're looking for thyroid disease!), heart disease that is linked to depression, and some problems with pollution and breathing. And I like diagnosis, but in absence of that I'll take effective treatment for these niggling things. And I just think I'll get more thorough attention for them stepping out from the medical mainstream.

I bought a Groupon type thing for an acupuncturist near me, and there was another today for a naturopath in Tempe. Any opinions?

Not Everything Has To Be Commercialized--Savvy Auntie Nonsense

2011-05-31T07:03:00.000-07:00

On Mother's Day I listened to this story about the founder of the Savvy Auntie website. She's also got a book out.

The whole thing left a bad taste is my mouth, just because it seems incredibly silly and like a bid to get to people to obsess about something and spend money, or give into a childish need to see themselves as popular and important. Yes, my life was changed and got better with the addition of little Miss Peaches to our family*. Dusie and I get along better than we ever have, as we spent most of our childhood at each other's throats. Peaches is always a good topic of conversation, and an amusement. And I look forward to the further evolution of her personality and interests. I don't want to be a Savvy Auntie; I want to be the sort of trusted and honest adult that was missing from our lives when we were kids. While I loved Aunt Mary Jane and she was a big part of our lives, there was a lot of reserve and distance to our relationship with her. That's why I am probably the aunt who goes to museums and teaches you how to take the bus, and can always be hit up for music, books and art supplies. And our parents had a lot of strain creating this little cult, an island cut off from everyone. Dusie and Jesse X want more kids, and I don't want them to suffer like that. That's why I told my sister that if and when she moves that if there was nothing keeping me here, I would move with them.

*I would feel bad if I did not mention that I am also Genevieve's son's Aunt Kerry; he's stated his desire that they should get on a plane and come visit me. Just wait until November, honey!

Drawing A Line

2011-05-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

And it's a list of links featuring excuses for morally flawed behavior!

Since You Asked--Is My Friend A Kleptomaniac?

Kenneth Moreno's Wife, Julia, Assails His Accuser

Girlfriend Defends Adulterous Ex

The Since You Asked column was the one that started me thinking about where one draws the line over other people's behavior. The letter writer seems not to be able to put together the idea that if someone steals from strangers because they want something, they might steal from him too and that that's not a sign of a mental disorder--it's a sign of poor character, and do you really want to be associated with that? Not to mention that one should perhaps not consider that person a friend, or trustworthy. Which is the same question that Carolyn Hax handles, in which the new boyfriend wonders why his girlfriend can't admit that her ex, a married man who cheated on his wife, might have a similar failing as she keeps insisting the dude is a great guy. Yeah, a great guy except he cheats on his wife, which indicates a willingness to lie and deceive in what's supposed to be a bedrock relationship.

When I was younger, I didn't think so much if people had good character, or where I drew a line considering someone's moral behavior as a big "Steer Clear" sign. Nowadays, I am much harsher on these signs and people. I grew up thinking the outside world was a dangerous place, but after I left in my teens I went too far in forgiving others' flaws and not considering if someone was a good person or not. I really wish that how to tell if someone is a good person or not, when to trust or not, was a lesson i had gotten in a reliable form from my parents.

Which leads up the case of Kenneth Moreno, who was acquitted of rape last week and his defense by his wife, a woman who goes really far in rationalizing three fake 911 calls and a confession of condom usage. (Okay, disclaimer--based on the NYTimes coverage and common sense, I think he is guilty of the rape.)

Has your moral compass strengthened as you've gotten older or are you someone who sees everything in shades of gray? What is not excusable?