Fuel For The Fire (In More Ways Than One)

So I've been putting out things on the curb so that people can pick them up. It's an accepted practice in my suburb that if you have usable stuff you can put it out on the treelawn before trash day and 9 times out of 10, it gets a new home.

I had a pair of green oak kitchen chairs I bought at the Medina Flea Market a long time ago for $20, very sturdy and with lots of life left in them. No place for them in the house, so I put them on the curb.

I went over today to check out the neighbor's fire circle and what do I see? My green chairs. Along with a lot of brush and spare wood which I guess is their fuel for their bonfires.

So when I call the cops on them for the illegal burning, it is going to be ever sweeter. Nice weather this week! Hope I catch them!

They've taken my treelawn stuff before, notably an ottoman I recovered and a bookcase, and that's fine, but this just frosts me.

I'm hard on the performance artists for valid reasons. They are so self-centered there could be a van parked in my drive marked "We Steals Yur Copper Pipes" and they would just turn a blind eye. They are annoying. They are pompous and don't grasp the rules of suburban living apply to their specialness. They don't give out Halloween candy. They talk too loud and too late into the night, and thank god they've moved the parties to the woods.

In Which I Hope To Discover My Inner Meth Head Handy Girl

So, about the house...

When the real estate lady came in and asked me if I was still living there, I figured we were off to a good start because it was a big job to get the house looking like no one lived there. Feedback was good-my kitchen is big (11x11) for Lakewood, my cabinets are good, I do get lots of nice light!, nice attic, green room got a "wow!", bathroom is big and with the new tile job not unattractive, and overall with some more paint we are okay. My roof is 2007 (complete tearoff of 3 layers of asphalt and the original cedar shakes), and my furnace is from Fall 2003. Did I ever mention that the furnace in place when I bought the house was from the mid-1940's (the same age as my mom) and the size of a VW Bug?

She suggested painting my accent wall in the kitchen SW Baguette instead of BM Honolulu Blue, and she was right. It picks up the brown off my crappy floor and does make the place look more sophisticated. I would never have picked it because it's totally a baby shit brown.

What I've had done/done to get it fixed up by the time I leave, along with huge divestment of stuff: tore off wallpaper and repainted the Tuscan Nitemare room, repainted hallway & downstairs, parts of the kitchen, new cabinet knobs, got the walls leading to the basement and outside the kitchen repaired and painted, fixed the mystery plumbing leak which lead to new tile including the building of a wall and moving the light switch that had previously been located in the shower(!), got the scary bathroom ceiling textured (totally a place in hell for me for that, but it was the only quick and easy fix), painted the woodwork in my bedroom back to white, painted the porch & steps, and planted flowers.

It's all I can do.

I also called the B-Dry System people and it turns out in 1981-1982 they did the whole basement, which is good because I now have seepage from behind the west wall. Those systems are guarenteed, although I am unsure if I can get it fixed in any sort of fashion because of the paneling down there. But the next owner can take care of that--information is power.

"But Kerry," I can hear you ask, "what price did she put on it? And how long does she think it will take to sell?"

The market has picked up some, but it's still not great. Not a lot of buyers, even if The Romance Heroine almost bought a cat pee house. I found my original listing sheet for this house, and I bought it after it had been on the market for 3 months in 2001. I'm looking at up to a year. I can make it work.

The original price we're setting? It's 11% more than I bought it for in 2001. If I think about it too much, I will cry. But there is room to drop it if in this glutted market if that will just get rid of it.

I'll take pictures before I leave and put them up on Flickr with details. I do like the house more now that it's fixed up--oh, paradoxes. And it's a pleasure to take a shower now. And my inner meth head handy girl will be up all night at work.

Today's Adventures In Dating

Today's potential bachelors featured a fellow who specified that he wanted a smart girl, but not a "Nobel prize or Mensa smart girl."

It was obviously not meant to be.

Kerry Reads The Paper!

Oh come on--you didn't think I could let this article pass without comment?

Truthfully, I'm of mixed thoughts. I hope it works out for the Harris family, although they seem to be class A freaks in a bit of a manic cycle who clearly haven't thought the whole organic homesteading in Vermont thing through. Voluntary simplicity is great and a whole lot easier when you have access to services or a stream of castoff goods or a cash stash. Otherwise, it's just being poor and there's a lot of poverty in rural New England. Planning, people.

And no, no you don't have necessarily have internet access in the woods.

I have had a long term fascination with people who do this sort of thing, since I really can't. It dates to reading Louise Dickinson Rich's We Took To The Woods as a child in a Reader's Digest Condensed Books collection.

I have sympathy for their plight in attempting to give away their belongings (although giving it away to charity instead of holding a huge garage sale is dumb, no matter how you try to dress up "I can't assign a value to things!"). I've given away or sold 80% of what I own and it really took me 18 months because of indecision and emotional attachments. I had a bit of a hoarding problem too. It's very freeing in the end to not have much. What I've learned is that nothing has value once it's out of the store. If you're not picky, creative and willing to make do, you can get so much for free. There is so much in this country to scrounge.

The Phone, And Why You're A Liar

I was a latecomer to the joys of the cellphone, but now I'm a convert. Know why? Because even though I don't answer my phone, I can tell from the missed & received calls features that you didn't call me. Umm humm. I got your number in more ways than one, honey.

Midget, Grandma, or Animal?

Federal Obscenity Charge Drives O'Malley From Office

Library Meme

1. How old were you when you got your first library card?

I think I was 6 1/2--we lived in Middletown, and Aces was about a year old when we moved there, and we're 5 years apart. I remember it though. It was summer. We thought we had to pay, and I had $5 that grandma had given me that had gone through the laundry and my mom had ironed it straight. We went the 10 miles to the big library and I was so excited when all I had to do was write my name and address! I could do that! And then we found out there was a library around the corner from our house.

2. What's the first book you can remember reading from a library?

I don't remember. I do know I was reading Nancy Drew from them in the summer after 1st grade when I broke my finger and couldn't swim.

3. Did you ever participate in a summer reading program or other kids' event at a library growing up?

No kids' events at our library, but we did have summer reading. I never went to the parties or anything, but I did submot my list, which was actually incomplete--I read more than I wanted to bother writing down.

4. Do you remember when card catalogues weren't computerized?

Yes. And I remember when your library card was a typed piece of cardstock with a metal bar and the machine went chomp! when it checked books out to you.

5. When was the last time you went to the library?

Today actually--I'm painting, so I needed some audiobooks to make it go easier.

6. How many books do you usually check out of the library at one time?

Anywhere from 2-15.

7. Name one great author you've discovered at your library.

Frank Portman.

8. What was the librarian at your elementary school like?

I did not go to a school with a librarian--we had a room with books and an encyclopedia, and that was it.

9. How many times a year do you go to the library?

Bwwaahhh! On business or pleasure?

10. If you could change one thing about your library, what would it be and why?

LPL would put up some freaking signs. Now that both sides are open, I'm warming up to the design.

Young Workers Flee Midwestern States

Well, why shouldn't we?

Oh, Cleveland!

Is it just me, or does all the must see travel advice in response to not Martha's question about what to see/do in Cleveland just seem...horribly boring?

Up For Grabs--Tiki Cake Stand

Those of you who have seen what is affectionately called the tiki cake stand know what an awesome piece of weirdness it is. See the picture above--it's a total conversation piece. It didn't sell on eBay--anyone want it? Otherwise it goes to Goodwill.

I Am Fed Up

It is May 4th. It is 66 degrees in my bedroom. It is 62 degrees downstairs.

I should not be faced with turning on the heat or the space heater in order to be warm enough to sleep tonight.

Random Photos

In order: Harley, 47 cat toys, and Specs.