"I Promise I'm Not Running The Local Meth Lab Here, Tim!"

Some of you know about the problem I've been having with my medical reimbursement account. To whit, figuring I was all kinds of screwed up I put $700 in for 2005 only to find out what I was going to spend it on was unneeded. And I am never sick. So after going to Dr. Julie several times and getting glasses and a tetanus shot and physical therapy, I still had at least $200 left in the account. Actually since stupid benefits management company is holding up on reimbursing me for $100 of PT co-pays that they claimed I submitted inadequate documentation for (and yes, I am arguing with them about that), the total amount is somewhere between $200-275. And try getting a medical appointment in the month of December. Not happening.

So I wandered over to Target yesterday with a shopping list. I was grabbing the big boxes of Claritan, Cortaid, the 200 count Aleve, the ibuprophen, anything I could get my hands on. No generics for me, baby! But then it occurs to me that holy crap, I am going to get into trouble. Even if I'm not buying the stuff with psuedoephedrine (for which you have to take a little card over to the pharmacist now), a woman with several hundred dollars of cold medicine in her basket is going to be suspicious. Uh oh.

So I get to the cashier and I start babbling. I'm explaining this all to the the teenage cashier, who doesn't bat an eye. All he asks me for is my date of birth, because under the new rules only the young can be tweakers. Okay. The woman behind me is listening to my tale and she says that she thought I was just being responsible and stocking up.

It was $301.19 of OTC medication. I didn't even know you could spend that much at once. I put it on my credit card but I could have whipped out the hundred dollar bills and no one would have commented. Whatever I have extra after covering my reimbursement will be returned.

Of course I return home to find a check from the reimbursement people for $56.99. And a letter from the health insurance people asking for more details on my need for physical therapy. It's never simple for me.