Dear Plain Dealer,
You know, covering the parties and excitement and whatnot over the publication of the last Harry Potter book is news. It's a cultural phenomena.
However "obituaries" for the characters who die in the Arts section is not news. It's trying to hitch yourselves onto something extremely popular and being jackasses, not adding content or observation in any form. If you want to review the book and discuss the plot, review the book. Don't do half-measures bullshit.
And don't tell me I should just avert my eyes. Ever hear of the concept of "attractive nuisance?"
Your paper was only worth buying on Sundays for the comics and the circulars, I may even quit doing that now.