Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Life With Dogs

Hanging out with dogs all day is like working with really annoying people.

Imagine yourself tapping along on the computer and suddenly your coworkers Harley and Billie get in your face.

H: So it's lunch time.
B: Do you have some lunch? Want to share some lunch?
H. Yeah, I don't have any lunch. Can you share some lunch? That looks really, really, good.

They look at you while you eat and you feel a little the heel.

Harley sees a bird outside. He runs outside and for the next 5 minutes all you can hear is: "OMG, it's a bird! What do you want bird? What are you doing in my tree, bird? How's it going, bird?" I'm Harley!"

In the far distance you hear a police siren. For the next ten minutes, this conversation repeats:

H: Oh no, it's the cops!
B: Wow, it's the cops!
H: What do they want?
B: I don't know. Quick, let's run outside and see!
H: Maybe next door knows. Hey what's going on?
B: Ask them, someone has to know something!

Only it's all, "Ruff, ruff, ruff! Barooo, baroo, baroo!" Labrador-Great Danes mixes have quite the lungs on them.

Sometimes you'll just be minding your own business and there will be all these gross personal hygiene noises, the licking, the biting, that you have to ignore. Just like at the office.

Dog people are different. I can't see how they get work done. Give me a cat any day.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

dog people are all about talking to their dogs -- as in having that conversation about the bird, the siren, what-have-you w/ their dogs, who are rather more like their small inquisitive children than their noisy pets...just so ya know :)
(this coming from someone allergic to cats)