Sunday, December 14, 2008

36 Hours In Phoenix...With Kerry!

So the NY Times finally sent a reporter to Phoenix for their "36 Hours In" series. It's pretty good, but I think you should come stay with me--I do a better tour, and I'm a lot cheaper.

Friday

1) Okay, we should start out at the Mystery Castle. It's only $5, and it's really weird and cool. This was way far out in rural Maricopa County when it was built, and the area is now built up. The very fancy Animal Care Campus (think a homeless animal pet resort for the Maricopa County ASPCA is next door. We can go look at dogs and cats if you like.

2) I haven't been to that Garcia's (and the one that was the site of The Don's first heart attack has been torn down, sadly--I would eat there all the time if it were still open) but La Canasta Capitolios is next to the state government buildings and very good. I want Nana's chile bowl! Or if you really need a mariachi band, Las Tradicciones is downtown next to Phoenix Ranch Market which is totally crazy cheap and touristy, but who cares?

3) Plus, Hotel San Carlos is really close. We can see if we can go drinking there, or maybe they'll be running a ghost tour--the hotel is haunted.

Saturday

1) I get up early, so yes we could go to either of those places for breakfast, but we should stay closer to my place and hit either Over Easy or La Grande Orange Grocery.

2) Now we'll amble downtown--yes, we can look at the shops on Roosevelt, but we can also answer Genevieve's question of "How the hell do you have a farmer's market in Phoenix? What can you even grow in the desert?"

3) No, I am not taking you shopping at the Biltmore! Sheesh, you're here to experience Phoenix, not buy luxury crap that you can get anywhere. We will go check out the Frank Lloyd Wright architecture though. And afterwards, I suggest a little bit of protest in front of the Phoenix Country Club.

4) So if we get picked up by the cops, it's really convenient that my family's favorite bakery and coffee places are behind the jail. We can go there after Jesse X bails us out. Sweet Pea has awesome cookies and cupcakes, including the PB&J--I don't even like peanut butter, but these cookies are addictive. The Royal Coffee Barmakes the best lattes. A friend from work loves Lux, but their website scares me.

5) We can go to the Heard and feel very bad about the abuse and destruction of Native American culture, but if that's too much after our sojourn in the clink, I suggest a quick stop at the Burton Barr for reading material and then we should go and wait in line at Pizzeria Bianco.

6) Chances are it will be really, really late if we get seated and after we finish, we should just go home. BUt I will take you to the Desert Bontanical Garden in the morning after another brekkie, and see you off in the afternoon.

So what do you think? Do you want to come visit me?

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