Monday, April 18, 2011

Surely Someone Would Date A Woman With 7 Cats?

So last time I saw her, my therapist said, "Now that you've been making breakthroughs all over the place, I think it's time you tried dating."

She's going to bring it up again. There's someone else in group who should start dating too.

And truthfully I've been thinking about it. Granted for the last couple of years all I've done is occasionally read the emails I get from OKCupid with profiles and hit delete. But I'd like to have sex again before I turn 40.

I phrase what I am looking for as "a college professor who likes Americana music," which everyone agrees is totally the sort of fellow I should be with. But these profiles! If I am not just underwhelmed with blandness and the general incoherence, I get uncomfortable twinges and have to stop and figure out my feelings of revulsion.

For instance this line--"I am just trying to find someone like myself that has a big heart and would do anything for almost anyone."

Hell no. Because people who "would do anything for almost anyone" are very invested in being Nice People. Which means they usually are assholes in disguise. They ignore or hurt the ones they already have on the line because they have to show the people they don't know a good time, or they have some sort of savior complex, or are otherwise invested in being seen as a nice person, as opposed to actually being a good person and maybe a bit sensible about it. Know who was one of these people? The ex. The notorious Tim. Cookbook's ex. That kind of guy, ranging from inconsiderate jerk to sociopath.

And of course the guy has a jokey profile, and picture of a horse for his photo.

Or the fellow who sent me persistent emails, the first of which made me so uneasy that it was like physical revulsion. And I had to think and analyze it and realize that that email insinuated that I don't know my own mind, which is an awesome way to impress a woman (basically he said he suspected I was very liberal, which I was like "Huh?"), told me all about his kids, mentioned the whole "treat you like a lady" thing which I still can't figure out, and mentioned my kids when my profile clearly says I don't have any. He also mentioned very little about himself which gave me the information that a) he was desperate, b) had lousy reading comprehension and attention to detail, and c) had no interests or identity of his own. And that was just icky.

So yeah, I might try to pursue this dating thing. At least for blogging material.


Cookbook said...

You've tried speed dating before, right? I can see you being good at that. Here in Cleveland they're doing speed-dating for book lovers at Loganberry, which would be right up my alley if I were still single and had enough courage to try speed dating!

Anne (no longer in Reno) said...

Speed dating for book lovers actually sounds way better than internet dating. Although I agree, internet dating sounds like epic blog fodder. But possibly less mentally healthy. I hate people who presume they know more about you than you do based on misreading things about you.