This year, I will not have to sit through a potluck office Christmas party (who the hell forgets the sour cream he volunteered to bring?) featuring either a baked potato bar or bad Mexican food. I will also not have to participate in an excruciating gift exchange, a contest, watch my sickeningly sweet religious colleagues be goofy, or sing Christmas carols.
I can also baste my fruitcake in Maker's Mark, and foist it off on everyone I know and hang out with, without worrying about offending Mormons.
CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME.