Sunday, April 29, 2012

A Series Of Letters To Individuals/Corporations/Things I Can't Be Arsed To Actually Deal With

Dear Neighbor,

I am glad that you have a movie theater quality surround sound system, but you also have an upstairs neighbor. And really, midnight is too late to be watching films. Turn it down, buster.

P.S. I will now never feel ashamed of my need to take a shower at 1am to relieve a gallbladder attack, to vacuum at 4am, or run the dishwasher at 6am.

Dear New York Times,

Please stop trying to normalize Mormons. The more a decently intelligent person learns about their church's bunky beginnings, twisted theology and cult-like control over its members, the faster he or she scoots away from those missionaries.

Dear algebraic thinking and my brain,

Thank you for getting along and allowing me to figure out that if the ratio of water to brown rice is 1.5c::1c, then to make about .75 cups of brown rice I should use 1.125 cups of water.

Dear mirin,

You were expensive, and you'd better be worth it. (I bought it to make this carrot soup with miso.)

Dear Arizona Legislature,

Apparently passing a budget isn't a priority, but protecting the religious rights of business is?

Honestly, the hatred of your own citizens (particularly women, but let's not forget the poor and the brown) is getting old.

No love to any of you,


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