A New Challenge

Before my therapy group dissolved, we talked about our past year and what we wanted for the future. I actually goals written around the theme of resources, financial, emotional, temporal, and physical. One of my ongoing issues is waste, and my own patterns around spending my energy, (mis)spending my money, and the fact that I know intellectually I have limitations, but not doing my best to maximize my resources. You know, by doing some clearheaded thinking, planning ahead, practicing patience and not giving into my emotions. One of the things I decided to do this year was a 1 week spending fast each quarter. The first one starts tomorrow.

The rules are simple: no shopping, no food buying, no restaurant meals, no impulse purchases because "I need" an item. In preparation, I made a list of what I do need before entering this week: a jug of cat litter, a 6 pack of Coke, a gallon of milk, and some chocolate. Seriously, I can scare up 21 meals out of the contents of my pantry and fridge. If I need entertainment, I can scour the tub or groom a cat. Or meditate. Listen to the radio. Paint my nails. Sleep. Cain and Willa have food and medicine, and even treats (okay, only Willa considers brussels sprouts a treat.)

I just got back from Target, where the shopping trip for my short list of supplies spiked my anxiety and a can of soup, a box of mac & cheese, and some rice pilaf also made their way into the bag. Yes, I should have put them back once I realized they were anxiety-quellers. But let's start small.

How Much Being Mentally Ill Has Cost Me in 2010

So here's the thing: being really depressed, like I was last year, has a big collateral and financial cost. Because I was depressed and barely holding on, I managed to pick the wrong health insurance and wound up on a plan that didn't cover my therapist. So, for the past year, I have been paying her out of pocket.

I go to individual therapy every other week, and group therapy every other week. Total=$320 per month. However, thanks to my new health insurance this goes down in January to a $15 copay for each, or just $60 per month.

On top of that, I have 2 antidepressants that cost me a $40 or $50 copay each for a 90 day supply depending on where I get the prescription filled. So we are looking at another $400 per year.

So being depressed cost me about $4000 in 2010. That's part of why I don't have a car and haven't done anything really super exciting. My therapist said, "Next year you can go to Europe on the money you'll be saving!"

Since my rent also decreased $50, I'm going to have $310 extra dollars in my budget starting in January. I mean, holy shit. A chunk of it will go to savings, some will be random padding in my budget, and some goes to debt. I'm still not going to buy or lease a car, and will always rein in my wants, but having extra money is very welcome.

The Final Fun Of The Foreclosure

So, I got the paperwork from the mortgage company about the foreclosure that I need to do my taxes. The fair market value of my house? $55,000. Purchase price in 2001? $99,000.

As is being reported in the press with articles like"No Hope In Sight, More Homeowners Walk Away", the market is wrecked, the modification programs are not working, and it's a big mess.

When I play with the "Does It Make Financial Sense To Walk Away And Rent?" calculator I get an estimate of 30-50 years before I regain equity, depending on the variables I put in. It was right to walk.

Now on my reading list, although I've done pretty well so far--Life After Bankruptcy: Living Well With Bad Credit.

Well, It Looks Like I Made One Good Decision In 2009

Mortgage Modifications Are Seen As Adding To Housing Woes

American Dream 2: Default, Then Rent

No, I know I made more than one, but the news/realizations about the housing market coming out bolster my faith in myself enormously. Check out the graphics section of that second article--it's truly scary.

It's Easy To Live On Less When You Start Out With A Lot

So I joked with my therapist this week that the company behind Lexapro should adopt the slogan"Lexapro--making you not give a shit about other people's stupidity since 2002!" but I think I need a larger dose to let this slide. Yahoo has this article up about living on 25% of your income, and it's such bullshit. I know the SF Bay area is an expensive place to live, but $1900 a month is still a fair amount of money. The woman profiled also still has an emergency fund, and I'd assume other secondary assets like a wardrobe and household goods from when she was making $8,000 a month, although she's also depicted as being a free spender before. She's also single--it's a lot easier to make it on less without those pesky dependents.

It's a hell of a lot harder to climb up financially than it is to downsize. You're always waiting for something unexpected that will wipe out your savings. And constantly rising costs again stretch you--public transit's going up here in July again, and I think they will cut the #1 bus that I take down to the Capitol because much of the route is paralleled by the light rail. It's all just luck in a lot of ways. And I'm well off these days, although I am a state employee and am starting to worry about another round of layoffs. But I'm well off because I am making a god salary and I have been able to cut my mandatory expenses way down.

Can I Shine Up My Medal And Pin It High, Or Is That Gauche?

So I've been paying on my student loans for grad school for a year now.

Yes, I know I only graduated in August, but you have 6 months grace period from when you drop below 6 credit hours (part-time status) and Spring 2006 was the last time I took 2 classes, so my 10 year repayment schedule kicked in last December.

I don't owe that much, and I don't expect a tickertape parade or anything, but I just wanted to recognize that fact. The fact that I'm a responsible person, unlike some whiners that I know.