Sunday, September 21, 2008

Unhappy Anniversary, No Way I Can Forget...

Whoever gives me title and artist on that header can have a cookie...

Today is the 6th anniversary of getting into the car accident that changed my life. Here's the story in short--I was riding unbelted in the backseat of casual friends when a minivan failed to yield. I was the most seriously hurt (wear your seatbelt!) with a broken humerus that needed surgery, a titanium rod and 3 pins to fix, plus 6 weeks off work, 2 1/2 months without driving, and 4 months of physical therapy. That whole experience, the medical humiliations and work and the way various people treated me--it changed me for the better. I mean, I wouldn't recommend a year of rage, scars and physical therapy to just anyone, but I did learn that:

a) I have higher standards and expectations for myself than other people. It was unacceptable to me to have a Barbie arm for the rest of my life. I really worked physical therapy, and it was so hard physically and emotionally, but I got almost anything back. The big thing is I have "poor internal rotation" of that arm, meaning I can't hook my bra in back. Annoying. But apparently this whole not getting addicted to painkillers/going to PT/taking 2 trains and 2 buses to get to work every day shows crazy shit determination and perseverance.

b) It is okay not to like or trust people, and to shun them for their behavior.

c) The Don was right about a lot of things, but mainly a lot of people are jerks.

d) Here is how you apologize: you say what you did wrong, you acknowledge how it hurt the person, and you express regret, and you commit to doing things differently in the future. You also serve your punishment and don't say anything about your damn feelings because it is not about you.

Four years ago tomorrow, I broke up with my ex. And yes, that was directly attributable to the accident 2 years before.

Two years ago next month, my dad died.

So I don't know what the big catastrophe will be this year. I'm on watch.

I would like to say Genevieve Southern has been an awesome best friend through all of this. She took me to the Y and rode the recumbant bikes with my arm in the plastic clamshell cast, found me a therapy practice after the breakup, came to my dad's wake, event hough she'd only heard the stories. Here's to you, Genevieve! I only hope I've been as good a friend to you as you are to me.


Genevieve said...

Aw - that is so sweet I got choked up a little. (Seriously, I'm not being sarcastic). And yes, you have been as good a friend to me. I miss you!

drwende said...

Having had three disasters, you may be done with the cycle.

I'm not in the least surprised by (a).