My Summer Sojourn At The Marlboro Mesa

So the cats and I have packed our bags and embarked on our yearly stay at the Marlboro Mesa. Dusie, Jesse X and the kids have gone to the Pacific Northwest on a relaxing family vacation.

Yeah, I don't know how that works, what with a 5 month old and an almost 3 year old. But Dusie has been sending lovely pictures and cheerful updates, and Peaches is a good traveler. She's been on thousand mile, multi-day driving trips every summer since she was 8 months old. The Plum is not so happy.


He is a little wrangler, isn't he?



Cain is completely at home here. Dusie's house features exceptional lounging spots, such as the wide countertops, the dining room table, and behind the bathroom door. I've been giving him free rein of the backyard when we go out in the morning to water my sister's collection of plumeria and let Harley go empty. I don't know how he managed to get inside the pool fence the other morning. As for his relationship with Harls, he hissed at him and since them Harley respects him. There may also be collusion as they both tried to stare me down while I was eating a BBQ pork banh mi for lunch--it made me nervous.

Willa had only been in this house once before, and remembered her trauma. She leapt from my arms and ran down the hallway straight for Peaches' bedroom, formerly the guest room where we'd slept. Then she hid under the toddler bed for the next 24 hours. She hasn't fully grasped that if you run, the dog will chase. She has endured his snuffing all over her, and Harley has quite the crush on her--"Oh little brown and white kitty, you smell so nice. You so pretty! And your food so delicious!" She grasped the idea of the catflap leading to the litterbox in the Arizona room, and likes to look at the backyard through the window behind the couch.

As for me, I'm eating at a few East Valley places I've been interested in, like Lee's Sandwiches and My Arepa!. And applying for jobs, reading books, and enduring the heat. Same old, same old.

The Children

So, Peaches and The Plum. They are so ridiculous, and so wonderful, that I have to share some stories. I have fallen into a pattern of visiting on Wednesdays, because my sister likes to go to yoga and leaves the two with me all alone to manage. And I don't accidentally kill them, and she lets me do it again. I've also babysat them at my apartment the past two Saturdays while Dusie and Jesse X went to lunch. Oh, the fun, even if we didn't manage to walk over to the library to read books and to the cupcake place for special cupcakes.

On Mother's Day we had brunch with my mom at her new house before she ran off with the widows to go to the casino. I was holding The Plum and he knows how to open his mouth and laugh now, so I started shaking my head and smiling and laughing at him. He would laugh back at me, and we went on together in a call and response laughter pattern for a good three minutes, caught on video by someone, and I only had to goose him under the arms a couple of times.

Today Dusie called me and said that as she was climbing in the front seat she heard Peaches let out a really exaggerated, fake sounding laugh. "What are you doing?" she asked. Peaches replied, "I am laughing like Aunt Kerry to make Plum laugh back."

But also The Plum apparently looks around in public, when he's alert, and seeks out dark haired women to stare at. Not redhaired Mamas, not blonde Babas, not light-brown haired Aunt Aces. He's got a type already, and it is Aunt Kerry lookalikes. Chubby brunettes of 2032, watch out.

Peaches continues her streak of awesome. Because I'm not working and have little money, I take library books to her. She has really liked some of my selections. Recently when I was leaving she got all demanding, slapping her hand down on the stack, "More Slinky Malinki, more Octonauts, more Skippyjon Jones!"

Whoa. One of the things that was a big push when I was a kid was the whole idea of raising a reader, and the idea that reading was the fundamental skill for your child to master. Parents were a little perplexed and cranky about kids who did not like to read. Is it worse now? Is the new push, "Are you raising a coder?"

Her imaginary fixations have expanded to include mermaids, along with cats and fairies, . It's been ridiculously hot here, so we go swimming in the pool. She is a good swimmer--my sister had her in classes over the last year, because it's a life skill in AZ, but Peaches really takes after my sister in her love of water, fearlessness and skill. Me, water was a huge panic trigger for me, what with the fear of whales, and things in water and grossness. After 6 years of weekly swim classes in the freezing pool, I finally made the Intermediate Level. But I think the next year they bounced me down to Advanced Beginner again. Dusie asked me if we went to the ocean, would I go in with Peaches, what with my fear of whales and all. And I said, "Of course. But it would not be wise to let me go in the water with her."

It's The Plum!

I took these pictures when my nephew was about 2 weeks old, and he has only increased in adorableness! Increased is right, because at 11 weeks he weighs about 13 pounds, which is about half of his sister's weight at 2.5 years. My sister is not looking forward to the day he is bigger than Peaches and gets to go on rides by himself, when Peaches doesn't even clear the minimum height level.

He wears 6-12 month clothes. He is HUGE. Dusie is totally stoked to have a tall kid. I don't know if he'll manage that--when we take him out in the sun his hair seems kind of auburn like hers, which would indicate he might have the tiny Irish genes. But who knows? That's the fun of little kids and the DNA mixing science project.

He is just the nicest, sweetest baby! And so patient!

The Plum's talents include smiling, laughing, waving his arms wildly, and thumbsucking. He is interested in his feet. If I hold him on my lap, he tries to climb Mount Aunt Kerry.

Also, he is interested in books. Last week I was over at the house and reading to Peaches. She said, "No, Plum doesn't get to read!" so I put him on the blanket next to us, and he was picking up his head and trying to peer over my thigh in order to look at the pictures in the book.

Such a sweetheart.

An Update On Peaches

Cookbook asked me in an email about my little nephew, and there will be a properly gushy post about him soon. But here is a picture of his sister, who is in her own adorable stage these days. She is almost 2.5 years old, and here are her interests, in no particular order: fairies (especially Tinker Bell), princesses, kitties, goats. She is very into pretend, and if you call her by her name you are often corrected. "No, I'm a fairy, not a little girl. I'm a kitty! My name is Muff." Thursday she told her mama she was a raccoon.

She is also big on her fancy dresses. This blue one is just a lightweight dance dress (hence the pairing with pants), but thanks to her Baba and Nana she has 4 or 5 different sparkly, floofy dresses of different weights and lengths. The main rule of fancy dresses is no wearing them while you eat. Peaches is a very sloppy eater.

She likes it when I take a blanket and roll her up into a purrito on the floor. She is also very fond of stories, which makes me happy because BOOKS! She also likes to color.

The funniest thing is the way she says "nyaha" for "yeah." It really sounds like she is saying no, but if you ask her "Do you mean yes or no?" she comes back with a clear "Yes!"


The elephant is one of the many statures of animals on the streets of downtown Mesa. I think an excellent idea for some spring fun would be to take a walking/photography tour and pose with them.

This Is A Baby

This is my nephew. He was born on Tuesday morning. Congratulations, Dusie, Jesse X and Peaches! He is even cuter in person. His main reaction to being born is to think, "Man, these people are LOUD."

I spent most of this week over at their house helping my mom with Peaches. So exciting to get a baby brother--she woke up Tuesday morning to see Baba in cow pajamas. Then the aunties came over and brought pizza and cupcakes. We read Minnie And Her Baby Brother several times, went to the park, watched videos (so not allowed) and visited the baby. And there are always people hanging out at the house.

That's what I've been up to the last few days. I'm kind of exhausted. Not as much as my sister though!

Getting A Grip

So as some of you know, I had a job interview this week for a position that everyone told me I'd be sort of insane to take. This was primarily due to the fact that I would have had to buy a car or scooter for a part-time job in a far off part of the city that paid $12 an hour. Other bits of advice included my own tendency to wind up in weird situations where I'm taken advantage of as part of company culture, that the pay was equal to unemployment, and there were no guarantees of it turning into a full-time job at any point soon.

I did do the interview as practice and enjoyed having a conversation with people and showing myself off a bit. It made me realize again how miserable I was at last job having my personality ground down.

However. I filled out an application to do standardized exam scoring, and have secured a position for March-April grading 10th grade writing exams. Yay yay for that. It's out near the Marlboro Mesa, so I'll get to see the bebes.

We are on BabyWatch! My sister is due Thursday, which also happens be be my maternal grandmother's birthday. And Groundhog Day. It's the prospect of having a kid born on that wacky narcissist's birthday that fills us all with a bit of fear. I went round her place twice last week to watch Peaches (to do the primary interacting and hanging out with her and take her to the park) and give my poor sister a rest.

And to top it off, I went to a breakfast Meetup today and talked to Geek Girls of the East Valley.

Christmas Week

So yes, it is the Christmas hols and all that.

As both an atheist and a lazy person, these are hard times. I am into the festivity of the holiday, but horrible with the deadlines of it all. I don't get a tree to decorate, on account of the cats taking it down.

I was going to make a felt ball garland, but the craft place online was all sold out of the balls I wanted. Maybe in time for next year.

As for gifts, we three sisters and possibly our mam are going out to tea soonish. Soonish because my sister Dusie is due to give birth around January 25th, and I am visiting Genevieve on the 13th. That is our gift to each other, although I told them I reserve the right to purchase used paperbacks and make truffles to put in stockings. Face it, around this time of year I always buy myself a ton of presents anyhow. So I have gifts for Peaches and Genevieve's family, and have to get something for Jesse X and my mom.

My mam did buy me 252 pounds of kitty litter as a Christmas gift though. I told her that Cain and Willa will think of her fondly over the next 6 months every time they poop.

My soundtrack to all this will be NPR's Jingle Jams along with my Christmas music CDs. For instance, I bought the She & Him Christmas album this year.

The schedule:

Monday: Make fruitcake and get presents out in the mail. I am macerating my dried fruit in rum instead of Maker's Mark. But I did wind up using a lot of dried pineapple in the fruit mix, so it should work.
Tuesday: Bake cookies with Dusie. We are making pecan balls, and maybe biscotti. I also want to pick out some other cookie recipes to try.
Wednesday: Final shopping day for groceries and such.
Thursday: Make truffles
Friday: Go shopping, make more truffles, wrap presents.
Saturday: Probably hanging out with my sister and her family. Aces goes off to her boyfriend's huge Christmas Eve celebration.
Sunday: Christmas

Best Thanksgiving Ever

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Aces is brillant.

She and her boyfriend brought his cat Rei to Thanksgiving. Rei is a Russian Blue mix, but teeny--she's about 5 pounds and 2/3rds the size of a normal cat. She likes to go visiting, and is not afraid of a 2 year old or a new house or a giant dog.

Peaches kept exclaiming, "Kitty, kitty tat!" and following Rei around. She was uninterested in making hand turkeys with me as long as Rei was round.

I had 2 glasses of Maker's Mark mixed with apple cider. Delicious. Jesse X agreed.

I made honey and lemon glazed carrots and parsnips, my cranberry-apricot sauce, and the brussels sprouts Aces contributed. My mom called me this morning to tell me how good it was.

Everyone got along.

Tomorrow I am going to shelve at the library. The only problem with having Thanksgiving at someone else's house is the lack of leftovers, although I have tons of ingredients--I had ham and brussels sprouts today, and I might make mashed potatoes and these sweet potatoes with pecans and goat cheese tomorrow. I have a ton of celery, red potatoes, sweet potatoes, and russets from Bountiful Baskets, along with carrots and herbs. Any recommendations for things I could make?

The Flying Troutmans--Miriam Toews

I loved this darkly funny road novel by Canadian writer Miriam Toews. I think that if you liked Little Miss Sunshine, you'll like this book--it has a lot of the same feel to it in the low-key tragicomic tone, and deals primarily with how family members cling to each other in the wake of mental illness and chaos.

Hattie Troutman has come back from Paris to take care of her niece and nephew and put her sister Min back in the hospital for the umpteenth time. Min has 30 years or so of crazy under her belt--she's tried to kill herself numerous times, Hattie at least once, and was inadvertently responsible for their dad's death. Hattie fled to Paris, just tired of it all and needing a break. She's the last of the family able to assume responsibility for Min and her kids, 15 year old Logan and 11 year old Thebes. After checking Min into the hospital, Hattie surveys the wreckage and decides that the best thing to do is go off looking for the kids' long-gone dad, Cherkis, who was last heard to be in South Dakota. After all, Logan's been expelled from school and alienated the neighbors by throwing hatchets, and Thebes is decidedly more manic than before, and there's nothing keeping them in Manitoba, is there?

So off they go in the family van, confounding American border agents, hustling on local basketball courts, squabbling, and trying to reach Cherkis before the van breaks down irreparably. Meanwhile, Hattie reflects on her history with her sister and gets to know her niece and nephew. The charm of this book is in the characters--Thebes is a wildly charming creation, with her novelty checks and homemade gift certificates, but all the characters are nicely layered.

5 Years

Today was the 5th anniversary of The Don's death.

I'm not sad or melancholy. I miss him, but I think he'd be pleased how things are turning out for us all. He'd be in love with Peaches and her upcoming brother. Dusie has talked about naming her boyo after him. And I mean really after him--Donald Francis Howell X. I asked her, what we would call him? There's only one The Don. I do hope he's gotten out of purgatory, as my sister asserts that he must have been doing some time down there. My mom was on the East Coast this week, so I hope that she went to his grave.

Random Tidbits

Aces and I are trying to get Luna The Fashion Kitty to appear at Peaches' birthday party. A tricycle, a dress with goats on it and a guest kitty--don't that sound like the perfect birthday for a 2 year old? And cake, of course.

The Scottsdale escort agency is looking for a weekend manager again. I am again tempted to apply, although furthering prostitution through effective management makes me feel gross. But life experience equals material, and I feel I have little life experience, hence the vague interest in the job.

I just learned this week that the song "Whistle Bait" is a rockabilly classic, and not written by Frank Portman as I had assumed. I am so dense sometimes.



I fell for the "only at Fry's" advertisement for the SweeTango apple. They taste better at room temperature. The flavor comes out as more complex, but it's still very sweet. The name is ridiculous, though.

You Thought I Was Joking About Tuesdays And Thursdays, Didn't You?

Because I got a call at 9:45 this morning from Dusie asking if I wanted to watch Peaches' swim school lesson and go out to lunch with her and my mom, since they were in the neighborhood and could pick me up. And on Thursday I am taking the bus to Ikea, where I will meet up with Dusie and Peaches to eat lunch, toddler wrangle (she likes to try out big girl beds), and help my sister haul a bookcase around.

How I Spent My Relaxation Weekend

Oh my goodness.

It's like my blood pressure is normal or something. Or I had a bad massage--I'm not so relaxed that it's like I had a good massage, but a bad massage is better than no massage.

I only worked a half day on Friday. Then I went to Happy Hour at Applebee's with The Crimson Conquest and a new friend. Did you know that they serve their sangria in a size called "Mucho?" Granted, half of it is ice and garnishes, but two of those and a appetizer plus tip is $14. And while I wasn't so intoxicated that I made impulse purchases over at the Target.

Saturday, Dusie picked me up with a sleeping Peaches. She had put on her kitty socks in order to visit with Cain, who is the patient and less cranky and afraid cat who doesn't mind a little girl petting him. So we went out for Vietanamese food at Cyclo, which Peaches woke up for so she could have tofu and share my beef noodle soup. Then we went to their house to wait for Baba to come over.

Peaches showed me her newest toy. It is a little electronic reader int he shape of Violet the dog who you scan over some little books and it does interactive talking in different voices, makes noise, and tells you to pick out different things in the picture. Dusie said, "Do you hate that toy?" Yes, I kind of do, but maybe some of it was the Thomas the Tank Engine.

Then we went to my house, where my mom and Dusie read while Peaches petted Cain and then we read Catch That Baby! three times in a row and ate cherries. Peaches liked that book because she is also a baby who likes to run around naked.

Then I cleaned up my closet. Today I ran errands and cleaned other things. Blah blah. But a clean house makes me happy.

As for an adventure, I might next week go to Ikea. On the bus. I need hangers and a new shoe holder thing.

And this is the most boring but satisfying and relaxing weekend I've had in a long time.

Proof My Sister Is Beautiful, Witty and Charming

She was the best at comedy night that night--she killed.

Not Everything Has To Be Commercialized--Savvy Auntie Nonsense

On Mother's Day I listened to this story about the founder of the Savvy Auntie website. She's also got a book out.

The whole thing left a bad taste is my mouth, just because it seems incredibly silly and like a bid to get to people to obsess about something and spend money, or give into a childish need to see themselves as popular and important. Yes, my life was changed and got better with the addition of little Miss Peaches to our family*. Dusie and I get along better than we ever have, as we spent most of our childhood at each other's throats. Peaches is always a good topic of conversation, and an amusement. And I look forward to the further evolution of her personality and interests. I don't want to be a Savvy Auntie; I want to be the sort of trusted and honest adult that was missing from our lives when we were kids. While I loved Aunt Mary Jane and she was a big part of our lives, there was a lot of reserve and distance to our relationship with her. That's why I am probably the aunt who goes to museums and teaches you how to take the bus, and can always be hit up for music, books and art supplies. And our parents had a lot of strain creating this little cult, an island cut off from everyone. Dusie and Jesse X want more kids, and I don't want them to suffer like that. That's why I told my sister that if and when she moves that if there was nothing keeping me here, I would move with them.



*I would feel bad if I did not mention that I am also Genevieve's son's Aunt Kerry; he's stated his desire that they should get on a plane and come visit me. Just wait until November, honey!

Now THAT'S A Good-Looking Roast!

Where's My Christmas Spirit?

My sister was pretty funny in response to that complaint, Dusie said, "Did you look under the couch?...Maybe that third cat took it."

I got it back momentarily at Trader Joe's, where Peaches and I stopped after lunch at the Indian restaurant. I bought a marked down wreath, which I attempted to wear on my head like St. Lucia, only to have it fall down onto my shoulders like a Christmas Clown ruff. Peaches did not witness this. If she had, I think she would have found it at least as funny as the gorilla in the banana section, the holiday decorations, and the flying Super Cow hanging from the ceiling. We had to leave the restaurant due to crankiness and restlessness, letting Mama and Daddy have a few moments alone over chai and rice pudding.

I got some holiday favorites, the pear cinnamon cider and a box of Peppermint Joe-Joes. There were some people who filled 2 carts with the Christmas star cookies and Joe-Joes. There are so many delicious cookies in the world, why would you go nuts like that?

Thanksgiving 2010: Aunt Mary Jane Represented, And No One Bickers

Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll.



As my uncle was clearing out Aunt Mary Jane's house this summer, Aces asked out cousin Kells to grab some cardigans for us. Aunt Mary Jane was a high school history teacher--of course she had 900 cardigans. I scored this one, which is older than I am and supposedly was bought as part of a fund raiser for some Irish convent and knit by the nuns, nice, thoughtful, caring Irish nuns, not the Magdalene Sisters. I wore it today in remembrance.




By the way, here's a shot of my fabulous Fluevogs that the fam bought me in San Francisco this spring. I wore them with my denim skirt from eShakti. My mom complimented me on it. Aunt Mary Jane would have approved of them too.




It struck me that our holidays have been much less stressful since my dad died. My mom enjoys not having to cook or do anything. She did tell Dusie that she was being like Daddy and to please stop when Dusie kept stressing out about if there was going to be enough food for 9 adults and two toddlers. Of course there was. There were 2 turkeys and 6 vegetables, plus stuffing and dessert. I had the brilliant idea of making the stuffing in the crockpot. Dusie has been converted to brining after my efforts last year. It was damn good turkey.

After we ate, Dusie and I went to the scrapbooking store to hit the 20% off, pictures with Santa, OMG Thanksgiving, reward yourself for slaving over the stove event. Of course we took the baby (she wore her footie pajamas with the monkeys) and she cried at the scary red man.

Thanksgiving Plans: Shock The Kin, Again.

Several weeks ago, my sister and I divided up the holidays. She gets Thanksgiving, as she is all about the turkey and tradition, and I get Christmas, as I am all about big pieces of beef and experimentation. Aces doesn't cook, so she get no holidays. Dusie did ask me to bring stuffing and a vegetable dish to Thanksgiving, so she doesn't have to buy and cook everything. It's fair. The stuffing is no problem, as it just brings up the question of whether I will go to the length of making cornbread first, or just use the Pepperidge Farm mix. The veg dish is where the fun begins. I was knocking around the idea of Bittman's crazy raw butternut squash salad, but I'm not sure I'd eat that, much less anyone else. So I might just go for the fennel, Granny Smith apple and celery salad, which will freak my sister out, but hopefully not too much.

In terms of other Thanksgivings, I brought a renegade savory dish of
Prosciutto Wrapped Sweet Potatoes to the Places, Spaces and Faces Community Dinner. It was renegade because i didn't try it before I inflicted it upon others. It was well received.

But someone made Smitten Kitchen's Sweet Potatoes with Pecans and Goat Cheese, and it was the best, truly. We already have sweet potatoes on the table, or I'd bring that and watch my sister protest until everyone raved. As I have like 7 pounds of sweet potatoes now, I think I'll be making this next for dinner for myself sometime this week.

Highly Inappropriate Songs I Have Sung To My Niece

One of the neatest things about babies is that they have inborn likes and dislikes. Since birth, it has been evident that my niece likes music. And to my amazement, she seems to like it when I sing to her. And I love to sing, although I am often asked/told to stop singing by others.

So I hope that SJP! and I will be sharing music together in the future.

Here are some of the songs I have sung to her:

Whiskeytown--Nervous BreakdownThis is a bluegrassy version of a Black Flag song. I discovered it when I was very depressed last fall. I have felt this way so often, overwhelmed and in need of escape, and I think babies intrinsically understand.

Emmylou Harris--Hello Stranger



A song about whoring yourself because your man is in prison. SJP!, please don't let this happen to you.

Gillian Welch--Orphan Girl



She didn't like this song. I tried to cheer her up, saying, "But SJP!, she always has God with her!" but no go. Hmmm. Maybe baby will not like church.

Neko Case--Honkytonk Hiccups

This is one of her older songs--SJP! went through a stage where she had the hiccups a lot, and she liked this song. Especially because I would dip her at the end of the lines.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes--Home



If SJP! takes to the road with a guitar and a bus full of scraggly potsmokers, I have a feeling her mom will try to blame me. Look in the mirror, Dusie.

Kenny Rogers--The Gambler



This may not be so inappropriate since seeing this sung on the Muppet show has stuck with me my entire life. Although I always thought Kenny sang it with Kermit.

ABBA--Super Trouper and Waterloo Actually these aren't inappropriate--ABBA is always pretty upbeat, and allows for wild gestures from a dramatic little baby.

Bye-Bye Blackbird A classic, but kind of a whiney downer of a song. My mom sang this to us as kids.

The Velvet Undergound--Pale Blue Eyes



SJP! has lovely blue eyes, but at 6 months is really too young to be thinking about illicit affairs and being the focus of unrequited love.

One of the other songs I have been learning to sing to her is Lyle Lovett's "Pantry," which like a good portion of Lovett's songs is kinda dirty. It's about a guy who puts a culinary chastity belt on his girl while he's away.



Any suggestions for other inappropriate songs I should learn for SJP!? It doesn't matter what I sing, it seems, which is immensely gratifying. SHould I repurchase all my Michelle Shocked albums? I already intoduced her to "Strawberry Jam."