Deja Vu

I moved into my new apartment last night. I was very anxious about the whole situation--what if I made a bad choice; you never can tell about places until you move in; even with the door locked I could get raped and murdered MY VERY FIRST NIGHT; it's more urban than I'm used to (and I don't mean black ghetto--it's less suburban than Lakewood); there could be weird Phoenix cockroaches along with the roof rats. Just my freakout nature. But it was really okay, and I met the security patrol and one of my neighbors, and there's internet to steal.

Now I'm just anxious because OMG, the money I have spent in the last 24 hrs. It gives me the vapors since by nature I can't spend money on useful stuff, just crap. I mean I have the cash to spend, but it's just a lot of little pesky things--a shower curtain, the rings to hang it up, dishwasher liquid, a coffee maker, and Ikea kitchen set in a box, glasses. Dusie is loaning me a spare set of dishes, thankfully,

I will take pictures and upload them to my flickr page tomorrow.

The other thing is even though this is a nice enough apartment, it's giving me a case of cognitive and emotional dissonance because it's very much like my first apartment after college which also had brown carpeting and neutral walls. Between that and the single girls status (although I wasn't single back then), new career, new town, etc,. I have this wacky feeling that I've reset the clock 11 years back. The layout here is better and there's a balcony, but it is frankly a bit down market. And I'm not ashamed that this is what my complex financial life affords me, but I do have a nagging feeling of, "oh wait--weren't things supposed to be different by now?" I don't think I've completely screwed up my life, but I was hoping to be a bit more in control of the situation by this time.

Onwards and upwards, I hope.