So My Sister Had Her Baby The Other Day

And you think you had/know the prettiest baby in the universe, but you're wrong. Clearly the prettiest baby ever is our Peanut. Mesmerizing. Secreting narcotics through her skin.

So that's where I am these day. While I don't go out shopping for our new infant overlord, I do whisper secrets in her perfect ears. "Shush, honey. Andy Warhol was right--being born is like being kidnapped and sold into slavery. Don't worry...it gets even better."