Highly Inappropriate Songs I Have Sung To My Niece

One of the neatest things about babies is that they have inborn likes and dislikes. Since birth, it has been evident that my niece likes music. And to my amazement, she seems to like it when I sing to her. And I love to sing, although I am often asked/told to stop singing by others.

So I hope that SJP! and I will be sharing music together in the future.

Here are some of the songs I have sung to her:

Whiskeytown--Nervous BreakdownThis is a bluegrassy version of a Black Flag song. I discovered it when I was very depressed last fall. I have felt this way so often, overwhelmed and in need of escape, and I think babies intrinsically understand.

Emmylou Harris--Hello Stranger



A song about whoring yourself because your man is in prison. SJP!, please don't let this happen to you.

Gillian Welch--Orphan Girl



She didn't like this song. I tried to cheer her up, saying, "But SJP!, she always has God with her!" but no go. Hmmm. Maybe baby will not like church.

Neko Case--Honkytonk Hiccups

This is one of her older songs--SJP! went through a stage where she had the hiccups a lot, and she liked this song. Especially because I would dip her at the end of the lines.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes--Home



If SJP! takes to the road with a guitar and a bus full of scraggly potsmokers, I have a feeling her mom will try to blame me. Look in the mirror, Dusie.

Kenny Rogers--The Gambler



This may not be so inappropriate since seeing this sung on the Muppet show has stuck with me my entire life. Although I always thought Kenny sang it with Kermit.

ABBA--Super Trouper and Waterloo Actually these aren't inappropriate--ABBA is always pretty upbeat, and allows for wild gestures from a dramatic little baby.

Bye-Bye Blackbird A classic, but kind of a whiney downer of a song. My mom sang this to us as kids.

The Velvet Undergound--Pale Blue Eyes



SJP! has lovely blue eyes, but at 6 months is really too young to be thinking about illicit affairs and being the focus of unrequited love.

One of the other songs I have been learning to sing to her is Lyle Lovett's "Pantry," which like a good portion of Lovett's songs is kinda dirty. It's about a guy who puts a culinary chastity belt on his girl while he's away.



Any suggestions for other inappropriate songs I should learn for SJP!? It doesn't matter what I sing, it seems, which is immensely gratifying. SHould I repurchase all my Michelle Shocked albums? I already intoduced her to "Strawberry Jam."