Thursday, April 28, 2011

Messages I Won't Be Sending To OKCupid Matches

Dear Sir,

Your bisexuality and atheism doesn't scare me. The fact that you think it's appropriate to have a profile picture with devil horns on your forehead does. It doesn't show your irreverence; it shows you're kind of a creepster.

I can't believe we are a 92% match.

Dear Soon-To-Be-Divorced Fellow

Look, it takes 6 months to get divorced in AZ. I can tell that you hopped on this site just about the minute you got served with papers. So maybe instead of looking for a penpal, since you admit that's all you can handle, you should concentrate on spending a little time with yourself, mourning, thinking, and I don't know--spending time with your kids who are going through a major upheaval?

Dear Sir,

I have the distinct feeling from reading your rap lyrics that you feel sorry for yourself and might shoot up a bunch of women one day. Please consider therapy.

Kind regards!


1 comment:

Cookbook said...

Ah, OK Cupid.