Watch The Bridge With Me This Summer. Please.

Season 2 of The Bridge started on Wednesday. I watched Season 1 last summer, and it was a delight. Well, okay not a delight--it is a dark and unforgiving show, just like the desert it's set in. Numerous people get killed in gruesome ways furthering the plot, but those deaths aren't titillating. Real events and news form the backbone of this story, and well if there's a weirdo serial killer hanging around, at least he's got a serious socio-political message.

And Lyle Lovett appears in several episodes, at one point carrying a three bean salad that's not a three bean salad, if you know what I mean. So while the first episode maybe didn't hook me, my 25 year crush on Lyle Lovett* kept me watching that second episode and after that I was devoted. I'm devoted because I like character driven dramas with incredibly twisty plots, sly touches of humor and excellent acting, and dialogue that dips in and out of English and Spanish appropriately.

To slightly recap season 1 (no spoilers, just the basics)--one night the lights go out on the bridge that separates El Paso, TX and Juarez, Mexico. When the lights come back on, there's a woman's body left in the middle of the bridge, half in each country. It turns out there's two half bodies switched, which brings police detectives Sonya Cross** and Marco Ruiz together to work the case. Also on that bridge was the car of local journalist Daniel Frye, local socialite Charlotte Millwright with her husband in an ambulance, and local weirdo/social worker Steven Linder, who has a woman in his trunk.

And from them it picks up strands of the drug trade, the prostitution trade, the missing women of Juarez, corruption in the Mexican police, smuggled migrants, and tells the story of what's going on with these characters and the symbiotic American relationship between America and Mexico. It's streaming on Hulu and Netflix at the moment, and the DVDs were released last month.

I was disappointed Matthew Lilliard (formerly best know as Shaggy from the Scooby-Do remake 10+ years ago)as reporter Daniel Frye didn't get an Emmy nod as he is fantastic in the role of a hardcore, functional addict whose journalistic brilliance is just managing to save everyone from giving up on him, kicking him in the ribs and leaving him in the gutter beside the taco stand. You understand why Adriana Mendez (another good performance by Emily Rios) sticks with him, and their actual friendship is refreshing.

Let me tell you, I would watch the spinoff where Daniel Frye and Adriana Mendez hangout and investigate and report on anything, a la State of Play (aka the fantastic British series that is the best thing about smart people thinking, writing and modern journalism that I have ever seen). Considering season 1 ends with them involved in the most local heartwarming story of a local 100 year old woman's birthday gone bad, I think we can look forward to this. Or maybe if we get Season 3, Adriana will do something on Mexican DIY abortion pill usage in Texas, considering what's gone on there in the last year.

So in case you also live in a place where it's too damn hot to leave the house (110 today!)give The Bridge a shot and come leave comments and let's talk and dissect.

*My other 25 year crush is on Henry Rollins. Make of this what you will.
**I promise, before season 2 is over I will deliver my epic Sonya Cross/Asperger's/superpower rant. Maybe multiple times.

Things That Would Happen On This Week's Grey's Anatomy If I Were Writing It

Sadly, Grey's Anatomy is not even the worst show I watch. That would be Criminal Minds, with its paper thin characters, outlandish plots, and pungent blend of misogyny and martyrdom. Yes, I am ashamed and I wish I knew others who hate watched it so we could rant together. However, Grey's a special case because it has some very good and interesting actors, something of a feminist concept, tries to have interesting stories and concepts, and consistently misses the mark and is often a mess. So here's what I wish would happen tomorrow night on the season finale.


1) Dr. Arizona Robbins cheating on her wife with a visiting cranio-facial surgeon: Arizona finds out immediately that the surgeon Lauren has an amputee fetish as post-orgasm she develops diarrhea of the mouth and confesses that she never thought she'd meet a gorgeous lesbian amputee to have sex with and it's like the best experience of her life. Arizona is crushed, guilty and skulks around trying to avoid her wife. Callie knows something is off but doesn't find out what happened until next season, and for the sake of their daughter they try an open relationship. It does not work.

2) Dr. Alex Karev, his crush Intern Jo, and the tree that crashed through his house: So Intern Jo has previously been involved in a mutual assault with her boyfriend Chest Peckwell, in which she wound up with a black eye and he wound up with a subdural hematoma and brain surgery. Alex and Jo attempt to secure the house, and during this Jo gets trapped in the basement and drowns like poor Kate Fleming.

OR, with his house in ruins around him Alex realizes that getting together with a woman who has uncontrolled PTSD/anger/intimacy issues is a bad idea, and backs off from a relationship, forcing Jo into therapy. They eventually get together though, but she starts assaulting him. After months of this, Alex gets the help he needs, breaks up with her and leaves Seattle.

Alex gets a spin off in which he goes back to Iowa to help care for his mother and brother who have serious mental illnesses, force his sister to abandon her music career to go to college, and take up a new job at a hospital in Des Moines or Cedar Rapids or wherever. Oh, and finds a therapist.

3) Owen Hunt, Cristina Yang, and the plot moppet he wants to adopt: Cristina realizes Owen is an asshole, and calls off their post-divorce relationship in which they have sex and ignore the fact he's an abusive asshole who wants kids, and she does not want them. The moppet's dad dies during the storm and Owen adopts the kid and moves out to wherever the kid's grandmother lives to form a family and torture new people. Probably by finding another strong woman (but one who wants kids this time) and constantly undermining her and ignoring words coming out of her mouth.

4) April and her new fiance Matthew: Since doctors can only date other doctors in the Seattle Grace world, and especially since surgeons can only date other surgeons (Shonda Rhimes does not believe in class mixing), Matthew dies during the storm helping people. April blames herself and the fact she's not a virgin. She becomes an atheist and actually becomes tolerable, passes her boards and starts internet dating like an adult.

5) Bailey's loss of confidence and guilt that her staph infection killed several patients: Bailey develops OCD and has a nervous breakdown in the middle of the hospital. She ends the season in a straitjacket.

6) Meredith Grey and Derek Shepard's miracle baby is born during a horrible storm. Eh, everything goes smoothly until there's an emergency C-section, but everything is fine and it's all touching and whatnot.

Should I become a showrunner? Would you watch this?

Confession: I Haven't Been Watching Downton Abbey

I know! What can I say? Mostly I don't have any contact with someone else who's watching it so we can be screaming fangirls together on Monday mornings. Also, I heard that PBS has to trim the episodes a bit to fit American tv slots, and I can't abide abridgement. And I've been busy and involved in other serialized, romantic crap.

I seem to be the only one out there not watching though. The links I have collected!

Downton Abbey paper dolls.

Downton Abbey trading cards.

Stuff someone found on etsy that you can use for your Downton Abbey Halloween costumes and theme parties (Theme parties! Would anyone host a Downton Abbey theme party and invite me? I will fly out. I make good scones and tea sandwiches. I have a silver teapot and homemade jam. I will wear a hat non-ironically.)

Bon Appetit's Downton Abbey food column.

Inspired by Downton Abbey, NPR covered the decline of British food, blaming WWI and the decline of country houses.

A dissection of the show's worldview and appeal, from the New York Times.

And two articles criticizing the flaws of Season 2, which is apparently ridiculous soap opera shenanigans, from the New York Review of Books and Salon.

Now excuse me, I have to wonder if I can cut myself bangs of resentment and fury like O'Brien's.

Up To No Good

Since I have been wearing RED lipstick in many hues, I paid $125 for a dental cleaning. I may have to break my Target ban to go over and purchase some deluxe whitening toothpaste.

It seems like I will be getting unemployment--I haven't gotten a payment yet due to the vacation payout, but I have been filing weekly claims and the woman who called to ask me questions said I almost certainly would be able to collect.

I wish someone was watching The Good Wife (season 2, just released on DVD) with me. We could discuss Eli Gold and his teenage nemesis Becca, whether Kalinda's superpowers stem from her boots or are due to the fact she's probably Canadian, Blake Calamari, why Diane Lockhart (and Christine Baranski) could mop the floor with Zooey Deschanel* in both her fictional and real-life personalities and why we would watch that, and the double and triple crossing going on in order to solidify control of the firm. It's really one of the best shows ever, all.

I gave up Coke a week ago.

If you paint your nails navy blue, it makes your hands look thinner and your fingers longer.

I am dogsitting out in Apache Junction for the next week. I shall take pictures of the mountains, but I should also come up with some ideas of things to do out that way. Trouble is, there is not much to do out that way, huh huh. Except hike. I also need some projects for here in town.


*I just finished watching two episodes of The New Girl, and my, does it suck.

Links

Why are there fewer cycling women in NYC? Danger and fashion.

Looking for an intelligent tv program to glom onto? Canada's Intelligence has been called its version of The Wire. I've seen all the episodes on Netflix streaming--it is a great show ended too soon.

How To Talk To Little Girls. Basically, please try not to make the first words out of your mouth a compliment about how cute or pretty she is. Ask some questions. Maybe pick up a book with her.

I can't stand Marketplace Money. Whenever I listen to it, I feel like throwing something. In this piece, Tess Vigeland displays her ignorance by admitting she actually took Zillow's estimates of home prices seriously even before it recently reworked its algorithm. Having lived in a place where Zillow was wildly inaccurate, I have to wonder what rock she lives under. I don't find Zillow at all accurate.

At least they sound a little shocked at the people they dug up for a story about people who bought too much house, stripped the equity and defaulted, but now think they should get another mortgage.

Why Did Wild Nail Polish Go Mainstream?

"And that's why you should learn to pick your battles" is just masterful comedy writing.

For the holiday, How To Make A Pimm's Cup. Okay, it's inappropriate to make a quintessential British drink on the 4th of July, but it is delicious.

And once you are all tipsy, play a paperback game.