Saturday, November 29, 2008

Because Maybe I'll Have A Date in 2009

This is not meant as a comment on anyone's romantic life, but it was something I found interesting: The Five Love Languages.

It was accurate for me--I had an even split between Physical Touch and Quality Time, with Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service, and nothing for Gifts (10/10/6/4/0) Someone to cuddle and run errands with is pretty much my ideal relationship. And argue. Think The Thin Man, either film or movie. Lillian Hellman wrote that she thought when Dash gave her the manuscript to read it was one of the few things she'd ever seen that made marriage look fun.

As for gifts, anyone giving me things makes me uncomfortable. Few people ever realize that that's a possibility though.

Now, how I wound up in a long term relationship with someone who didn't like to spend time with me, felt he should get a medal for doing things for me that weren't what I needed or wanted, and gave gifts...wait, I know how I fell into that, and it's a long story for another day.


scb said...

That was *very* interesting. I like gifts, but I was amazed (and for some reason a little annoyed) at the number of times gifts was an option versus something that didn't seem related to gifts to me. Anyway, I got Words of Affirmation 8, Physical Touch 7, Quality Time 7, Acts of Service 5, Receiving Gifts 3.

... now I've got my shopping list, where's the Guy Store???? ;-)

I may go and buy that book. (If the "gift" questions had specifically talked about books, I might have scored higher!)

drwende said...

I've concluded that many of these long-term relationship mistakes are nature's way of preventing over-population by keeping people too miserable to breed.

We all know that I'm the Princess of Self-Sufficiency, Problem-Solving, and Wild-Eyed Idealism. What do I historically attract? Older men who want constant companionship, expect input on every picayune decision, are set in their ways, value cold rationality above all, and seriously believe that bringing me a cup of coffee in the morning is more important than passion. You tell me this isn't nature's idea of black humor.

lsaspacey said...

Yeah, the gifts questions were freaking me out too. I learned in a prior relationship that gifts with no meaning behind them mean nada to me.

I scored high on Acts of Service, but I actually see myself as very much a self-sufficient gal. So, I guess for someone to WANT to do things for me and for me to LET THEM DO THEM means a lot to me in terms of trust and love. I most certainly don't want a personal "handy-man", just a handy man as much as I am a handy gal.

lsaspacey said...

I would also like a date in 2009. How do I go about arranging that, huh? I dropped the ball on that this year and, um, the year before too.