So Cleveland. So Very Cleveland.

Apparently, Clevelanders are into boasting about how hardcore Cleveland they are because the Republicans are coming in 2016 and LeBron is rejoining the Cavs.

I'm so Cleveland, I still have the exact same job I got when I got out of college 20 years ago.*

I'm so Cleveland, I once punched an Oberlin student in the face at the airport for being annoying. No, they didn't arrest me. It was an Oberlin student.

I'm so Cleveland, I go to Lakewood and I name every bar that was there 25 years ago and who drank there.

I'm so Cleveland, you name a closed parish I can tell you where it is and what ethnicity the original congregation was.

I'm so Cleveland, I can tell you what Central European country your baba came from based on the curve of your nose and your last name.

I'm so Cleveland, I actual have ethnic stereotypes about the difference between Slovaks and Czechs.

I'm so Cleveland, I know how to get to Shaker Square. And when I'm there, I'm mourning the businesses that were there before they got evicted and they put in the Gap that closed 2 years later. (That was in '99-2000.)

I'm so Cleveland, I'm always surprised when an art museum want to charge me money to see the collection.

I'm so Cleveland, Case Western was my reach school.

I'm so Cleveland, I'm indignent when it's suggested I should change or evolve in any way.



*Seriously, my ex.

It's 32 Degrees Here

My sister is losing plants as we speak. But at least we don't have a frozen lighthouse.


Bridget Callahan has some great snow and ice photos too.

Ha! I'm RIGHT!

This report on Cleveland's foreclosure crisis confirms everything I've said over the past 2-3 years, that for Cleveland it was predatory subprime lending that fed the beast and it's just growing. Cold comfort.

Look Away, Cleveland Lovers!

Sometimes I think that I'm too hard on Cleveland. And then I come across something like this, courtesy of Cleveland Bachelor, and I think "no, I am exactly right about Cleveland and its effect upon people."

How does (if at all) Cleveland influence your work and/or art?

Cleveland is a city of indeterminate and unabated potential manifested intermittently in brief, but intense bursts. When you love such a city, as I do, the promise of that potential sits at the heart of your attraction. Relationships based on a one-sided attraction to intense, but infrequently manifested potential must surely tend towards the passionate, painful and demoralizing. Long term devotion to such a relationship might even produce a kind of bitter resolve that stubbornly agitates for realized potential, accepting enough brief manifestations to get through the day, while ultimately suspecting that all is lost. It might also make you a bit of an asshole.

Maybe this what non-Clevelanders mean when they talk about a “Cleveland attitude.” If it is, then I’ve got one.

Sometimes My Brain Is So Random I Boggle Myself

NPR's Marketplace devoted this week's show to the economic troubles of Cleveland. Fresh off that bit o' depression, I read how Phoenix's light rail is a boon for partiers (hey, they're spending money at least.

Cleveland and Phoenix are like two sides of the same coin--sure, Cleveland's an older town and Phoenix is shockingly new, but they both have sprawl, and need more diversified economies.

But the other thing I thought typified the whole dichotomy was this song by Nanci Griffith, "Drive-In Movies and Dashboard Lights." Phoenix is the sunny sister everyone loves, and Cleveland is the plainer sis who is just waiting for her downfall. I have always loved the line "Heavy of thing and light on integrity."

Yeah, maybe I am pushing it.

Who The Hell Is Hope Marsh, And Why Does She Now Own My House?

When I was in Cleveland, I did stop by my old house to see what was up. My key didn't work in the door, but I could see inside that someone had been doing some work. I thought it was a bit odd, since the house only transferred to Fannie Mae on August 6th and I didn't believe banks were putting any work into foreclosures.

There was an envelope in the box addressed to Hope Marsh from Northeast Ohio Title Company. "Why is that name familiar?" I thought.

I looked up the transfer details online when I got home. Hope Marsh bought the house for $62,000 on August 27th. That's good, as it puts the decline in value right where I thought it would be. Remember, I bought the house for $99,000 in 2001. But that name...why was it ringing a bell?

Oh yeah. Hope Marsh is a prominent Cleveland-area real estate agent.

Keep in mind, I have no emotional attachment to the house or the issue anymore, and I am happy with the way I relinquished the house. But I am a thinking person with an interest in macroeconomic trends and foreclosure crisis issues. This is very, very interesting to me.

• While Hope Marsh and my real estate agent do not work for the same company, I can't help but think the practice of realtors buying property in the area they sell in as being a conflict of interest or a form of insider trading. I mean, what realtors are touting is their customer service and ability to leverage relationships, not just to find the buyer the home she wants but also to negotiate with the seller and their agent and recommend contractors, inspectors, insurance agents, mortgage brokers. That's a lot of information and ability to manipulate it and market players to capitalize on it for one's own gain.
  
• Realtors control the MLS. What's recently sold, at what price and why is not necessarily apparent or comprehensible to the man on the street. My real estate agent recommended an original price of $110,000 which if you recall I thought was optimistic. Now I wonder if she wanted a higher price that was unrealistic in the market so that it wouldn't sell and an investor friend could scoop it up. Again, manipulation of the market.
  
• Frankly, I am a little surprised that an investor bought the house, and that I assume the plan is to rent it out for a bit. One of the things I learned on the housing audit is that investors are buying the better houses on the market, and here in AZ it was a horrible frustration that working people who intended to stay in a neighborhood for a long time were unable to access decent properties And certainly that a sale was completed within 3 weeks of my surrender of the deed being filed is suggests that Ms. Marsh was able to put her own knowledge and contacts in the Cleveland area market to good use. But is that really good for the neighborhood in the long run?
  
• As we've been rickrolling the blame for the foreclosure crisis through the major players (investors, banks, people who bought too much house who should have known better, appraisers, mortgage brokers), real estate agents and their role haven't been examined, as far as I can see. And I do think they had a bigger part in stirring up the froth that they've been credited with.
  

Any comments, aspects of this I've missed, opinions? I'd love to hear them!

Maybe I'd Rather Stay Single

I like to boggle the Mormon girls by saying that in my family there's no pressure to get married, and as a matter of fact, it's a little looked down on that you would do such a thing. It's truth; Dusie confirmed that she managed to absorb the same message.

I always thought I'd end up alone. I can't decide whether it's self-fulfilling prophecy or just my personality. I broke up with the ex when I realized that I didn't care so much about kids or not being married, but what I wanted was someone who loved and adored me, and liked to spend time with me and he...didn't.

I had 2 dates in Cleveland in 3 1/2 years. However, compared to the girls in "Love By Committee", I'm a healthy relationship marvel. On the one hand, I am truly convinced there's a lack of single men in their late 20's or 30's there. I would joke that I had to wait for the first wave of divorce to get a boyfriend. But here's the thing--I don't mind being single. There's a lot of advantages to the whole thing. And I find the "Board of Love" to be awfully depressing and grasping in their strategies to find love.

Check out the commentary on Jezebel too.

I Am Merely The Pot That Simmers

Lead Paint Cookbook, meet Wende. This response was at least partially inspired by your post on food carts, LPC. The two of you would get on if you were ever in the same place. I am still unsold on the food carts vs. food trucks issue--I don't see limited offerings from Susy's Soups or the noodle place catching on in cart format, while with just a titch more space in a truck they could roam and bring excellence all over.

What's Your Breaking Point?

I feel horrible in a way for mentioning this. Adam is an acquaintance I met through Patrick and Genevieve, and I admire his dedication to Tremont and his gift for bringing people together in a community.

But.

Two houses in your immediate neighborhood burning down in 2 months is not a sign the neighborhood is still good, no matter how quick the Fire Department responds. And that's before we get into any of Cleveland's other issues.

I cannot be that optimistic about Cleveland's long term prospects.

Cleveland: What's So Funny?

It's not funny because it's absolutely true, and because it is that bad.

Oh, and you know how to raise Cleveland's self-esteem? Improve the damn economy and get some jobs. "Mistake on the lake?" Are you an idiot, Regina Brett? No one remembers that. I didn't even hear about that before I went to Case in 1993. What they know about Cleveland is that it's the foreclosure bellwether of the country and it has lousy weather. And Michael Symon. No offense, but these are not what most people consider draws.

Cleveland drives me nuts because it is seriously delusional, and a lot of people are kinda jerks.

Go watch the videos though. They're hilarious.

Surprising Marriage Ends In Bizarre Ohio Killing

Followup on the case back in Ohio where the transgender woman was accused of killing her water phobic husband by forcing him into the apartment complex pool. Crazy, Ohio is crazy.

It's So Bad, You Can't Even Give The House Away

Genevieve sent me this story :Banks Refusing To Take Back Foreclosed Properties.

Then I read All Boarded Up, which I wish everyone who is bitching and moaning about bailouts and people getting their lifestyles and poor decisions subsidized would read. It reminds me of the movie On the Beach, but it's not a cloud of radiation coming for everyone--it's urban blight. The article confines itself the the City of Cleveland proper, but the same problems are cropping up in the suburbs. There are 124 foreclosures in Lakewood, the nice walkable suburb that you live in if you want a city-like environment without the corrupt shenanigans and crime of Cleveland and don't mind paying high taxes to do so. Three are on my street. They are selling for less than $50,000. I paid $99,000 for my house in 2001.

Look, the Obama plan is kinda crap in terms of what needs to be done and what it might be able to do, but now is not the time to bitch that people are going to get something that you didn't. Now is the time to do something to plug the hole.

As for me, I had a discussion with a nice woman from the credit counseling agency that my mortgage company hired to talk to me and she is going to recommend to them they let me surrender the deed in liu of foreclosure, which I'm fine with. It saves my credit rating a bit; I had PMI on the loan so the lender would prefer to collect that and not be out the legal fees; and then it's over and gone and I can rebuild my credit.

I don't know how you can tell yourself Cleveland and the surrounding area is coming back and things will recover. It's like looking at the pictures of the Ninth Ward after Katrina, or Beruit after the latest war. Yes, you may find yourself a hipster enclave with urban gardens but that cloud of blight spreads. What are Cleveland's prospects, its strengths that secure its future? Because honestly, I can't figure out how it's not a few sunny people in denial of what will happen.

Oh, Cleveland!

Sorry for another boring Cleveland housing prices post, but really--I'm having this reaction of "Geez, do you really think I'm that dumb?" and needed to share.

So the Plain Dealer wants you to be happy because housing prices have only declined 6.1% in the metro area through the end of 2008. Go, be happy! See things are good! Cheer up! Ha ha, you don't live in Phoenix!

Except see that quote cited to the MLS data the one that one that says prices are down nearly 26%? Isn't that radically different? Who would you trust? Personally, since it's more dour I go with the MLS peeps. Also S&P is a bunch of lying liars who lie.

The white washing includes this cheery graph, but look closely--the high of Cleveland prices was in 2003, 2 years before the height of the market in the rest of the country. The reason why the price drops are slowing, if they really are, is because they've already dropped a hell of a lot.

DrWende, This One's For You

Raid Finds Pot, Corvette, Harley--And An Alligator Standing Guard. Oh, Cleveland.

In other news, National City got bought. I'm well and truly fucked.

The Only Thing I Miss Is The Steady Dose Of Crazy

Ohio is truly a land of weird and crazy. And it really has all kinds: paranormal weird (The Ghost Whisperer), poor people weird (southern Ohio /Appalachia), weird hobbyists (Civil War reenactments or vintage base ball anyone?), weird rich people (the guy who founded Progressive Insurance with his pot busts, art collection, and hate on for Case's management), normal people weird (the neighbors), weird crime . Seriously, living there is an exercise in keeping your mouth shut and a smile on your face as the weird and dumb just assaults you on a daily basis.

This is the kind I miss: Transgender Woman Charged in 73 Year Old Husband's Death. The story includes this detail, "Stehlik said investigators learned that Mason (the victim) had a fear of water so great that he rarely bathed."

So, what month will this turn up on a Law & Order, and which one will it be? SVU, CI, or regular flavor?

Wild, Wild Life

I will say this about Cleveland: I do miss squirrels.

And seriously, I think there are many times I would have preferred bobcats to the neighbors I had.

You Know, This Attitude Problem Is An Inherited Trait

If you're Slovak or intimate with some sort of Eastern Europeans, check out this. It's funny because it's spot on.

I have a pet theory about Cleveland--it's not just that the weather and the economy are bad. Face it, Cleveland's best days are in the past, and not even the upcoming global drought and the Great Lakes Water Compact will be able to save it. Cleveland has an congenital case of depression born from its immigrant/migrant past as a stopping point for Eastern Europeans. We're not the happiest of people, we like security, and we don't challenge the status quo. Hard workers though.

NPR Almost Makes Me Cry

I'm not a crier. I'd like to be--awful stuff keeps happening and it would be awesome to just burst into tears, but all I can do is a big gulp and a lip wobble. The last time I was incredibly close to crying was at my dad's funeral, but I was so angry at my grandmother for her attempt to throw herself into the coffin, if I had started to cry someone would have touched me, and I might have punched them. Then I would have gotten excommunicated and The Don would not be proud.

NPR had 2 pieces lately that almost made me cry. Wibble, wibble. "In 'A Dog's Life,' One Student Finds Strength" we've got a moving story on literacy, children and the power of reading to help you to sort out your life. Good for you, Mark Federman.

Normally I hate "Fresh Air," but Terry Gross had a wonderful conversation with Marine Lt. Col. Steve Beck and Jim Sheeler, a journalist who spent years chronicling Beck's work ministering to the families of fallen Marines and guiding them through the notification and details of the deaths of their family members.

And maybe not cry so much as want to slap people: Cleveland, the city whose "housing boom" wasn't built on a good economy or housing scarcity, but instead powered by the criminal and stupid. Seriously, if this is your potential workforce, do you want to do business here?

Midget, Grandma, or Animal?

Federal Obscenity Charge Drives O'Malley From Office

Young Workers Flee Midwestern States

Well, why shouldn't we?