What Would Jane Austen Do?

God bless the WGA strike! Because you will have lots of time to watch the new PBS adaptations of all Jane Austen's novels. The fun starts on January 13th with Persuasion.

And if that tosses you into a secret fantasy of the Regency period and or causes you to bemoan your single state, this round up of the latest Jane Austen homages and clones is a good reference for what's out there. Me and Mr. Darcy is a crap book, by the way. It also leaves off Lauren Henderson's Jane Austen's Guide To Dating, which I found invaluable and will review as soon as I find my copy. Also keep in mind that The Jane Austen Book Club is soon out on video.

And The Risky Regencies blog spent the early part of December looking at Austen's novels, putting the phrase "big girl panties" into my brain.

Salon's take on the cult of Austen calls out the romantic fangirls as missing the point if that's all you think Austen's about. Her novels are more prescriptive about marriage and relationships than people like to think, and it's clear she was a woman of her times who believed in the social order. You marry for security and choose well, and if you find love that's grand but really--sometimes all you can hope for is to live parallel lives and keep your temper.

I first got into Austen when we read Emma for Mr. Quinn's spring course, "The English Novel." I embraced Austen's view of marriage in a big way (probably ultimately to my detriment) , but I didn't get into any of her novels until my late 20's--I think I attempted Pride and Prejudice in college but found it a slog to get through the first 50 pages, Mansfield Park is 400 pages of boredom leading to a mere 50 pages of scandalous fun at the end, and Northanger Abbey confused me.

I read Sense and Sensibility while recovering from my broken arm, which lead to a rereading of the other books including P&P the summer after I split with the ex and Persuasion 2 years ago. The reason why these books endure is that the search for love and affection is the same--we all want someone who will love us when we bring nothing but our worst selves to the table, who will want us despite shortsightedness and stupidity and selfishness, and give us a second chance. They give me hope, every one of them.

The Post-CAKE! Day

I feel a little hung over, although I did not drink last night. 2 people came to my party, SuperC and her husband. I have a lot of cake leftover.

I have just had another piece of cake and Starbucks. I should eat some real food--lamb chops and green beans and rice. I don't feel like cooking though.

I gave the kitties these catnip filled candy canes and they proceeded to go nuts with the rolling on the floor, licking, and kicking. Now they are hung over too.

Edit: Fuck, it occurs to me that I have probably caught the dreaded librarian crud. It has gone through Circulation, Reference and Children's in the EC. Ms. P was out of work for 3 days and had to go to the doctor. Ms. G got it and was out. Ms. F caught it and went home unable to read. Damn it!

Beauty, The Beast & The Librarian

This in an excellent paper discussing the classic theme of the Beauty and the Beast fairy tale in romance novels, but you know--when I wrote my master's thesis, it had to be on the topic of library and information science, some way some how, and not just literary criticism.

I mean, if I could have gotten away with that, it might not have taken so freaking long to write it, no?

And it if from UNC, which has a much more prestigious program than Kent.

Wardrobe Matters

So, I've decided that a black velvet coat was a stupid thing for a woman moving to Phoenix to buy. Even if she bought it in Phoenix.

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Sephora has glitter eyeshadow available. You may think "What does a frumpy, plumpy librarian need with glitter eyeshadow? That's what rock n' rollers wear." Ah contraire! Glitter eyeshadow is perfectly appropriate for the reference desk! Necessary even!

I have the light violet. Very nice.

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I dress up for work, partly because I'm a dressy person who owns corporate clothes, but partly because work is important and by looking nice you telegraph that you take it seriously. I think yesterday's outfit was a bit much though. Or maybe I should either get thinner or stop dressing like I am thin.

I wore: my funeral skirt (black, belted, below the knee, swingy) with a white blouse with black polka dots, a black cardigan, black stockings with white polka dots, and black shoes with white trim.

I don't know what to do with myself.

Scenes From My Vacation...

Text message from Aces to Duesie as I bounced around her branch library:

"Kerry@library=Harley@dog park"

*****

Duesie, upon seeing me for the first time since June:

"Your teeth are really white. They make you look younger. Usually around your age, a woman's teeth start to get dingy and that really dates her."

*****

Number of freakouts I had: 3
Number of freakouts people noticed: 0
Number of arguments I witnessed: 4
Number of arguments I was involved in: 0
Number of times the arguments were actually about what people were arguing about and not something else entirely: 1
Board games played: 2
Games won by me: 0
Number of grocery stores we tried to go to on Christmas Day, only to figure out finally that grocery stores are not open on Christmas Day: 3
Items for Christmas dinner we purchased at Walgreen's: Coke, box of assorted dark chocolates, box stuffing. However, the stuffing was later found to have MSG, so my sister couldn't eat it and was never made.
I did miss the family's annual run to the liquor store for space from each other. Instead we played Oxford Dilemma and ate very plain turkey without side dishes. Then we went to Aces' boyfriend's family gathering.

This Is Brought To You By The Letter "E", For "Envy"

So I don't want anything for my birthday gift-wise, but you know what I do want? Some internet sycophants. Any blather I post here ought to be seconded in the comments with you all posting "I totally agree! Wow Kerry, you're so smart! Amazingly clever!"

Sorry, I've just been reading some librarian blogs and getting cranky. Some of it is left over from Last Tuesday From Hell, but some is fresh.

Speaking of birthdays, the cake will be vanilla and coconut (no lemon filling! I don't like it) from Great Scott's Bakery in Rocky River. I am working 12-5 on my birthday, so it has moved to the evening. I bought a 10" cake, but the owner assures me it freezes.

Otherwise I will be traipsing around town on New Year's Eve doing a reverse version of caroling in which I gift others with slices of cake.

Elegance--Kathleen Tessaro

This is another book that I really like although it has got some issues in characterization and construction. Aside from the a standard chick lit plot, it's actually a book about cognitive behavioral therapy through wardrobe upgrades. So of course I love it, because my family's second motto? "If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you do better." (Accordingly, it's been hard for me to live in the Midwest.)

Louise Canova is a hot mess. A failed actress, she now works in the box office of an independent theater in London. She's married, but her husband doesn't want to have a meaningful conversation with her. Her mother-in-law is the bitchy Mona, a former model. And she's just been mistaken as pregnant at a fashion photographer's retrospective which prominently features dear Mona. At the end of her rope, Louise clings to an old copy of the book Elegance by Madame Genevieve Dariaux, a book written in the late 1950's that promises to help women develop their own style and sense of chic. And as Louise follows Mme. Dariaux's advice and starts to finally care for herself, old patterns are disrupted and her life changes in hard ways.

The characters aren't well-developed, and the villains are especially cartoonish. It often seems like Tessaro has a checklist of Lifetime movie issues into cram into Louise's psyche and explain how she wound up in her terrible situation. But there's some hilarious writing once Louise starts hanging around the British upper classes, and yes--it ends with Louise happy. So despite the flaws it's a satisfying read.

In Honor Of Various Economic Indicators...

Like the Starbucks Eggnog Latte, but despair of the cost (and if you feel vaguely guilty about the fat content too, you'll like this. I try not to be a "good food"/"bad food" agonizer, but really--some things do make me pause, and not just to revel in the deliciousness)? Brew up 4 cups coffee. Pour 2 cups into your mug, and add 1 cup lowfat eggnog. If you think it needs a little something something, stir in a little bourbon, brandy or sugar. More eggnog too if you need some. Maybe scrape a little nutmeg on top.

See! Is like an eggnog latte, but you don't leave the house! Which is good, because after a day of snow and blowing, you can't!

Fuck! I gotta go shovel.

It's Not A Job. It's A Mindset.

Some cool librarian related links for your amusement:

Card Catalog Quilt--This is a beautiful project, and what an excellent idea. Feed Dog did a nice job. (SuperC makes wonderful quilts, by the way--beautiful colors and patterns, nontraditional but coming together nicely--just like her.)

The Laughing Librarian Holiday Gift List--Please don't give me anything on this list. Well, okay--I kinda like USB Kitty. But that's it. The rest are too geeky even for me.

Check out the Library History Buff webpage. Wow, just wow. LibrarIana. And this 1947 video on library work.

Big Changes Ahead!

So yeah, I am getting the hell out of Dodge. Meaning I am leaving Cleveland in February and going to live in my sister Duesie's spare room in Phoenix. When I have a job and sell the house, I'll move out of her spare room and get myself an apartment. Aces has already informed me I can live in her complex; I just can't expect her to come over and eat dinner.

You know what's been the overwhelming response to this plan? "Lucky you! I wish I could leave too!" and "Why stay if you don't have family here?"

Why leave? Aside from the usual reasons like the lack of jobs, the overwhelming gray, the cold, and the fact that I'm lonely and I am so not a Clevelander, there's tons of things that irritate me about this place.

1) Dennis Kucinich--The little fucker just annoys me, from his Department of Peace to his perpetual runs for President and the attitude that he's so admirable because of his pluck. Just shut up and get something done!

2) Why will drivers in this town not put on their lights? I was driving down Detroit yesterday in the cold dark gray with rain and people did not have their headlights on. What the hell? Do you think it impedes your gas milage?

3) I don't think that there's virtue in being depressed and lethargic and acting trapped.

4)The indirect communication style: Everyone around here does this "I'm not going to tell you what I want or what I mean, you have to read my mind!" thing. It's paired with the "I'm not going assert my power and boss you" mindset and the "I take no responsibility" defense. I am continually tricked into playing this game.

It's funny because I was thinking about how few people I've met out here that I've really liked, and how they all have in common is that they're from somewhere else. Ms. F is from Michigan. Genevieve came from North Carolina. The Romance Heroine is from Kentucky. Abril mostly grew up in Florida. The exception is Miss G., who is a native, but then I realized she spend the ages of 18-30 outside the state. She laughed when I told her of my theory and confirmed it's true--the indirect communication method got trained out of her through years of dealing with outsiders. And SuperC, but family members with ADD have given her some communication skills.

5) People out here call it "yelling" if you have a heated opinion or a point they disagree with. You can be all calm and logical, but they call it "yelling" to guilt trip you into shutting up. Honey, I'm from New Jersey. When I yell, it is loud. It also features a verbal style that would make Al Swerengin blush.

Yeah, so time to blow this pop stand. I have got to believe good things are ahead.

Michigan Library News

Update on the Michigan library whose collection was destroyed by mold and eaten by squirrels.

Oh, this followup is hilarious. This is a "Law & Order" episode waiting to be written. Imagine the plot--sane and beloved library administrator is murdered and the batshit woman whose life is bound up in the library is the main suspect. Add some regular library creeps, maybe some embezzlement, terrorists and/or porn, and oh the awesome! And library creeps! And cat sweaters. Gotta have lots of cat sweaters.

Note To Librarians

Dear Fellow Librarians,

I know by nature we are very nice people. Even me, although I come off as a big ol' crank on the internets. But please--can we stop doing the homework of people who post questions to our professional listservs? I'm not talking about someone in the field who has a professional problem that they want perspective on. I'm talking about these examples on Publib this week:

"Dear Webmaster-- i am new at this and don't know how this is done, but i would like assistance-- i need a lit review on the perfume program. Thank you," (name deleted to protect the idiotic)

AND

"For my master's program in Library and Information Science, an interesting ethical scenario was posed, and we are to tell how we would respond and why.

If you have a moment (and it really is only a moment!), go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/ to answer ten questions about the scenario.

Responses are appreciated by Saturday, Dec. 15."

Oh for heaven's sake! When we bend over to do our fellow professionals' work for them, we are not doing them or our profession any favors!

Bucking The Sarge--Christopher Paul Curtis

I really wish The Don were alive so I could give him this book and get his opinion. The Don spent some time repoing cars in nasty parts of Newark in the 1960's, and was really conservative and he didn't have a lot of sympathy for people but he also had a grayscale view of the world. It would have been fascinating to see what he thought of this book.

Luther T. Farrell is a good guy. It's strange that he's such a decent guy since his mother is a criminal mastermind who works just inside the law. Carol Ferrell, aka "The Sarge", is a master at insurance fraud, criminal neglect, slumlording, and moneylending among other things. She rules impoverished Flint, MI, through an empire of legal and illegal activity and a wide coterie of minions and people too indebted to say no to her. Luther's her minion too--she got him an illegal driver's license and he's been working afternoons and nights running one of her care facilities. He is doing this in return for the money The Sarge is depositing into his college account, money that will get him out of Flint and let him achieve his dream of becoming a philosopher (see, he's too idealistic for words!) A series of events lead Luther to question his part in the Sarge's activities and realize what he's in danger of becoming.

Curtis is a great writer with an expert hand at balancing tragedy and high comedy--Luther and Sparky's adventures in injury with intent to sue, for example coupled with Luther's growing guilt over the eviction of one of his classmates. The Sarge is an awesome creation, a true Fagin or Moriarity. When there's talk of her killing someone for the insurance money, you know it is true and that she could coldbloodedly arrange it. But Curtis also lets you see that The Sarge is human--she does care for Luther in her feral fashion, even if she's chosen criminal activity as the quickest and most expedient way of reaching her goals. The scene where The Sarge tells Luther about how she came to abandon her ideals is chilling, but cements her portrayal as a real person with a tinge of sympathy.

Kudos and awards galore got to Curtis as one of the bright lights of both children's and African American fiction, and Bucking The Sarge shows why they're deserved.

Flashback

Recession on the horizon? Check!
Totally fucked up war in the Middle East? Check!
A Bush in the White House, and a Clinton running to replace him? Check!
Housing prices sinking? Check!
Doc Martens are back?Check!
I bought a green sweater* with rolled sleeves in an attempt to look cooler than I am? Check!
Murder rate is up? Check!
I have a crush on this guy who doesn't return the sentiment? Check!
Indie movies all the rage? Check! Except we're calling it "mumblecore" these days.
DIY all the rage? Yup! Now it's crafts, podcasts and blogging, but 15 years ago it was Internet startups and zines, baby.
All we need is grunge and the one piece bodysuit to make a reappearance, and we are all set!

I swear, I have deja vu every freaking day over our incipient return to the early 1990's. I can't explain the giddiness this evokes--I was a teen during the early 1990's and I wasn't particularly happy, seeing as I was continually reminded what an imperfect, disappointing failure I was, my dad lost his job, and we were broke. I'm not happy to see so many reminders of my adolescence coming back, but good god it's the freaking mood. It's a combination of widespread depression with possibility for the insane and plucky.

Oh, and considering I am nursing a crush on a guy I first had a crush on in 1994--really, just put me out of my misery. My current state of cheerful mania, flirtiness and determined grit is kind of like my first year and a half of college redux. And that was a good time for me. I have got to seize the day. Maybe this time I'll join a band.

*The Green Sweater story--So back in the 1990's I had an intellectual crush on Mr. Hill the English teacher because he was just so cool. And he had a dark green wool sweater from J. Crew with a rolled collar and sleeves that looked great on him because he was a) male and b) over 6 feet and c) slim. I bought a similar one but as I am female, short, and chunky it never really had the same look on me. But I wore it every winter because it was incredibly warm and comfy.

Green Sweater (see, over time it developed its own personality and became a proper noun) was finally given to Goodwill last year on the grounds that it was not attractive and hard to wear under a coat, and it was a constant reminder of the bad time when I broke my arm and it was the only thing I could wear over my cast. It had served me well and wore like iron. I hope it got scooped up cheap by someone who loves it. But today I was in Macy's and they had similar sweaters, only an acrylic/wool mix that was a lighter moss green with lavender and gold speckles mixed in. Impulse purchase totally sparked by Green Sweater, memories of prep school and the return of the 90's--it will probably be returned.

Kerry Reads The Paper!

Short thoughts on a variety of pieces that have appeared lately in the New York Times:

Decline of the Tenure Track Raises Concerns: I do believe that within 15 years of the US getting some sort of easily accessible, mandated, government supported healthcare/health insurance that this will be the norm for educated and creative workers. We will all be contract workers, responsible for setting our own rates and negotiating our own time off. We can go back and band together in guilds to create some protections and advocacy. And that's why I think universal healthcare would be a boon to this country. It will also be kind of hellish, but that's where I see the future workplace going.

At Wikipedia, Illustrators May Be Paid: One of the things that gets me about Wikipedia, along with the reliability and information literacy issues, is the idea that people are giving their intellectual product away for free and not even getting a credit for it. MFA Jane and I have talked a bit about writing, how yes, it's work--pleasant, challenging work, but work nonetheless. It seems to me that if you insist that it's easy, that it’s no trouble, and you’re giving it away for free that you are devaluing your intellectual processes and content to a dangerous degree.

Brazilians Giving Up Their American Dream: I find this interesting because during the heyday of American immigration before the 1924 Immigration Act, fully a quarter of immigrants repatriated after coming to this country for a while. My great-grandmother took my grandmother and her son back to Slovakia after her husband died. Yeah, yeah, America's a wonderful country but is it so bad that you go someplace to make money and then return? More and more the attitude is we don't want any foreigners here anyway. Ironic, that. The woman who mentioned her young children asking in the future why she left totally cracks me up--her kids are citizens, they can come back! In 1929, my grandmother and her friend Mary Chandra left Slovakia and came to the US on $50 my grandmother's aunt sent her and the strength of Grandma's U.S. birth certificate. My grandma's eyes were so bad she wouldn't have been allowed in otherwise--between the 1924 crackdown on Eastern European immigrants and her health, she would have been considered unfit.

Your Hairdressers Know, But They're Not Talking: Ha! I'm always "Uh, you are not my friend..." when I'm in the salon chair. But I also jump around on haircutters and salons. I don't want a relationship! Fear of commitment!

Will You Marry Me? Say "Cheese!" Did you know that you're not supposed to congratulate women on getting engaged? I think it is because as women we are so special and sweet that any man would want to marry us and turn us into helpmeets and bed partners. It's all about access to sanctioned sex and heirs. Wow, I really should cut back on the historical romance. You are supposed to congratulate the man because he went out on a limb and asked an important question for which he could be turned down. So see, by being vulnerable, you get cred. I however, would hate to have my fellow do this. Private events should be private. Anyway, apropos de nada I should have known that a particular friend was affianced to an asshole when he not only asked her to marry him in public, but he did it in front of a fraternity alumni gathering. Way to prop up that shaky self esteem, dude!

Colleges Shaken By Soaring Cost of Birth Control: Oh, I have no sympathy for this. There's no basic human right to have sex. Chalk it up as evidence of decreasing personal responsibility--look, if you can't afford birth control, if you can't stand to do to the doctor and get poked and take responsibility for your health, and if you can't talk to you partner about what to do when precautions fail, you shouldn't be having sex. It's not the university's responsibility to provide you with birth control, nor is it the taxpayer's responsibility to underwrite it, however indirectly. Yes, I took advantage of the $5 Pill when I was in school, but I didn't consider it a right. If birth control cost more, I'd have paid the cost for reliable birth control because it was important to me not to get pregnant. And I did pay more and have to shop around when I got out of school and got a job.

Can I Shine Up My Medal And Pin It High, Or Is That Gauche?

So I've been paying on my student loans for grad school for a year now.

Yes, I know I only graduated in August, but you have 6 months grace period from when you drop below 6 credit hours (part-time status) and Spring 2006 was the last time I took 2 classes, so my 10 year repayment schedule kicked in last December.

I don't owe that much, and I don't expect a tickertape parade or anything, but I just wanted to recognize that fact. The fact that I'm a responsible person, unlike some whiners that I know.

My Head Explodes

A small Michigan village library has to dispose of its entire collection.

Let's get this straight, people: when your library doesn't have heat or plumbing, or a roof that doesn't leak, but does have an active population of squirrels and rodents eating and shitting on the books, you don't have a library. You have a stash of rotting paper.

I can't stand it when people fetishize books, and I love books. But I also realize that there's a line where books are simply unusable due to age and condition, and this library crossed that line a long time ago. Books are good, but they are not holy relics. They are replaceable. They are also temporary--the acidic nature of paper ensures that your books have a limited lifespan from the moment they arrive from the printer.

Just because it's print on a page doesn't mean it has value. Don't confuse knowledge with its package.

In Which I Go A Little Overboard, Again

I had a dinner party last night. I had over an old work friend and her 9 month old baby and my new friend from work with her 9 month old baby and her 3 year old. The husbands declined to join us.

The menu:
Homemade baked samosas with green tomato chutney
Salad & homemade vinegrarette
Wild rice stuffed acorn squash
Apricot stuffed pork tenderloin
Raspberry lime rickey sorbet (yeah, homemade)

There are a lot of leftovers. So much that I could easily have another party tonight and use it up. If you think I go all out--I'm a single woman with a decent amount of free time with no local family and a lot of cooking skills and a need for food novelty. I like doing this. And I didn't clean that much--there's still plenty of junk hidden around here.

In other news, my birthday is the 29th. I'm having a simple party featuring lots of cake. Would you like to come?