Happy Anniversary!

Wednesday was my 1 year anniversary of arriving in Phoenix. I celebrated by bringing a 10 pound Costco cake into work on Thursday. Carrying that sucker up the street was a pain, I tell you. It said "Congratulations" and there was barely a scrap left at the end of the day.

Yes, coming to Phoenix was a good thing. In Ohio, I was constantly frustrated, and I didn't know why. My mom asked if t was because I didn't have a full-time job for so long, but it predated that issue. Some of it was feeling so disconnected from the people I met, aside from Genevieve, Cookbook, SuperC, Ms.G. and some others. But a lot of it was that I felt trapped. I trapped myself, don't get me wrong--I stayed with the ex, I bought a house, I went to grad school. But there's something about the city that encourages it--if you have a job that pays decently, you stay with it because there's not a lot of opportunities. You buy a house because it seems cheap and you think you'll stay a while and it's a good investment. Oh, look there's a single guy you're compatible with--marry him quick. There's something about the place that encourages complacency, or at least that was the case with me. While out here, I think I should be doing something, working on myself, having fun at least: bat watching, speed dating, biking, getting a scooter and joining a club, doing yoga, taking up tennis. Or at least I should be prepared to do all that September-May, as it was 111 degrees today.

Yes, I'm still frustrated. But I'm frustrated with myself, which is different and for all the same reasons that I am always frustrated and disappointed in myself--perfectionism, awkwardness, distrust, laziness. Phoenix is different in the type of craziness it evokes and I can be fairly sure I have an escape plan should things go rotten. I am amused by the irony that I've moved from being the settled down type, which was what I always thought I wanted to be based on a volatile childhood, to embracing a lifestyle where I could cut and run on a moment's notice. I still don't have a couch.

As for other things:

The House

Cuyahoga County Auditor thinks the property has a market value of $106,400 for the purposes of tax assessment. I have papers to sign under the watchful eyes of a notary tomorrow; then they get filed with the court and eventually I no longer own a house.

What's on tap for this week: Tomorrow I am going over to The Crimson Conquest's to watch 3 hours of True Blood. I am bringing raw beet salad (Cookbook, I am modifying a recipe of your fake boyfriend's) and she is supplying the tapes and the bourbon. Wednesday I am going to free night at the Phoenix Art Museum (Wende--you and the neighbors interested?) I am seeing the Jenny Lewis show on July 11th. I am going to try to make getting out and doing things more of a priority. And I need some help packaging myself for online dating.

Unexpected Meme Result: Kerry's Childhood Was A Dark, Sad Place

What were you afraid of as a child?

Whales. And people being mean to me, because there was just something about me that made other people want to be mean to me. And being corrected by strangers.

What were your favorite books as a child? Do you ever reread any of them? If so, how do they hold up? Were there ever any that gave you nightmares, but you had to finish them anyway?

Reader's Digest Condensed Books my grandma gave me. A 26 volume series of short stories and excerpts of kids' stories arranged around particular themes that had been my mom's. The Bagthorpe Sage by Helen Cresswell. The Trixie Belden series (and I did go to considerable effort and expense to reassemble my collection as an adult). A totally awesome book of North American wildlife with little pictures and descriptions out of Grandma's house. And women's magazine's--Good Housekeeping, Ladies' Home Journal, Woman's Day.

As a child, how did you feel about other children? Were your friends mostly your age, mostly older, or mostly non-existent?

Let's see---I was the bully bait for the whole class in 2nd grade and 6th grade, sexually harassed by the boys in 7th, and then proceeded to have an odd relationship with my peers in high school.

Other kids made me anxious. After 2nd grade I was on the outskirts---I'd play if needed or asked, but mostly I watched what was going on.

What was your favorite toy? Do you wish that you still had it? Do you still have it or have you bought another off eBay?


I did not do much playing with toys past babyhood. We were on a dollhouse craze at one point; my sisters had a Lego collection I had to beg to play with; we were banned from card games and it was hard to play a board game with a 5 year age span.

So yeah, not a happy fun little kid. Miracle I don't drink more, actually.

Kerry Reads The Paper!

Time to read the paper! Time to rant!

Parents Pull The Plug on Williamsburg Trust-Funders: This article fascinates me because from my personal observation of the high cost of East Coast life, and knowing about Genevieve's experience living there and trying to get by and through reading things like Escape Brooklyn. Parental subsidies make a lot of sense as an artificial prop for the marketplace in the city, along with the yearly boom of financial sector bonuses. I'm actually interested in seeing what this all looks like 5-10 years into stagnant growth--will we have a return to 70s-early 80s era New York?

When The Thrill of Blogging Is Gone: I read a few blogs that I think of as being deliberately book deal bait, and it's interesting to see how their authors are building a reputation and how that plays into their writing. As for me, I am surprised I have kept this going as long as I have, that I still enjoy it, and that at least some of my family and friends enjoy it. I don't publicize the blog, so when others happen across it I am always surprised and gratified.

Still Working, But Making Do With Less: Although I agree with a lot of the commentators--get a haircut, put some flip flops on the kids before they get hookworm, vaccinate your animals because you made a commitment when you got pets, you still have a lot of fat in the way you are living--I actually think the real story is in the comments, in what judgmental assholes NYTimes readers are.

The dad saying that childhood was not a time for kids to worry, I found both endearing and infuriating. It was the something The Don thought too, that his daughters should be protected and not exposed to the world, that we would be spoiled by it and lose our innocence. It's sweet and quaint and well-meaning, but it was the reason why my dad and I had a lousy relationship for so long. My natural talent is in worry; it is why I became so interested in the larger world, a compulsive reader, and needed to leave to become myself. I was denied facts, skills and guidance, and when I left home I was unprepared. I'm still quietly furious about it.

I really hate this Cooking With Dexter series due to the fact that a) I'm not interested in children I don't know, b) I'm really not interested in parents bragging about their children, and c) I am so over the foodie lifestyle. (Not so over I won't be seeing Julia & Julia this summer, but having read the original blog (awesome) and the book (lousy) and seen the preview I think they are mostly going with the theme of self-transformation and the challenges of how do you keep yourself interested as an adult rather than FOOD,GLORIOUS FOOD!)

But hey, Peter Wells, guess what? I got a solution for your grocery bill problem. It's called a price book. You make a list of all the stuff your family eats and then you hit your grocery stores and see where it tends to be cheapest and then you (radical notion) buy it there. Quit whining. In the end it doesn't matter a whit what you feed your kids if they know how to eat a balanced diet. Trader Joe's meatballs are not the end of the world, no matter how they offend your sensibilities.

I actually don't fault him for accidently buying a $35 chicken--I think Patrick did the same thing when I was visiting and we went to The Greenmarket. It's probably one particularly tricky chicken vendor. I do fault Wells for not making soup or something more out of it. Can't Dexter do it? Oh wait he's 4. Even if he is the savant his father builds him up to be, that may be asking too much.

So the solution for the upper Midwest might be for all the people who left because they couldn't find jobs to come back and buy summer houses. Oh, that's so practical. It's missing the point of "How do you keep them down on the farm when they've seen gay Paree?"or rather, "How can you lure them back to Flint to sleep with a baseball bat when they've had jobs and lives that didn't require working on a manufacturing line and putting up with this sort of nonsense?" I despair at the sentimentality of it all. It will be incredibly hard to live in Detroit and other towns experiencing once there is no retail in town, and I imagine that buying all your food at a corner gas station will get old pretty quick. No wait, those cheap houses will all be filled with pioneering artists, handymen and sustainable food types. Until squatters burn down the neighborhood. Whoops.

Standing On The Corner, Waiting For The Bus

I need a bit of advice from you all--how do you manage to commute on public transit with a laptop, lunch, purse, etc? I'll be working mostly downtown by the Capitol over the next 4 months. There are no good lunch options nearby, I like to read on the train, and I will probably be often carrying the laptop. Other than starting to work out or hiring a homeless sherpa, any advice?

The commute in question is bus to light rail to bus and takes under an hour.

Cleaning The Whale

My version of a horror movie.

The Word Of The Day Is "Beatific"

Because that is what I am. The audit is practically over; we have a last round of changes and then the agency review before it's released to the public, but my manager left for Ireland yesterday and I've been released to my next audit.

At 8 am, The Crimson Conquest caught sight of me and said, "Whoa--you're happy! Is it...over?"

I sent Anners an email with the subject line "I am too happy to concentrate." She came in late and Grabbed me to chat and said, "I haven't seen you look so relaxed in a while!"

Later in the afternoon, The Crimson Conquest looked at me and said, "You have to tone it down somehow. You can't be looking on Friday like you'd shoot yourself in the head if they hadn't made you check your gun at the door, and then turn up on Monday all high, hippie level, happy."

This was after my coworker Pinch mockingly sniffed my water bottle to check for vodka.

I even proposed a Beam-Off between me and one of my most cheerful coworkers when she is finished with her audit--I imagine we will troll Thomas and scare the transit riders. The same transit riders Anners said could probably sell us drugs if we asked nicely last month. That's how far we've come.

I Am Merely The Pot That Simmers

Lead Paint Cookbook, meet Wende. This response was at least partially inspired by your post on food carts, LPC. The two of you would get on if you were ever in the same place. I am still unsold on the food carts vs. food trucks issue--I don't see limited offerings from Susy's Soups or the noodle place catching on in cart format, while with just a titch more space in a truck they could roam and bring excellence all over.

Pardon Me While I Exhibit Bad, Passive Aggressive Behavior

Dear Former Friend,

Look, your financial problems don't stem from the fact that when you married 4 years ago, your parents refused to give you any money to pay for the wedding. Your financial problems stem from the fact that you married a guy 13 years older than you who has a chronic disease and who spent 10 years in college without graduating, and then spent the next 15 years not paying his student loans. It doesn't help that he's got a sense of entitlement as big as Lake Erie. Couple that with the fact that neither of you are particularly career-minded, and you live in the Cleveland area, no shit, you have financial problems. Probably renting a 4 bedroom house for the last 3 years and accumulating more clutter didn't help. But you are blaming the wrong people. Hopefully the house sale triggered some self-examination, but I doubt it.

Frankly, although your parents are a class act of crazy, you choose to have a relationship with them.

Oh, and your husband's plan to start a greenhouse, aquaphonic farm and composting system in midtown Cleveland and fund this venture with grants and donations seems crackpot and unlikely in the current economic environment, to put it mildly.

Note to self: This is why you should give up stalking people on the web. Weren't you happier before you came across all this? Weren't you?

MLS: Hire Ground?

Oh, man. Terrible pun and methodology aside, let's get down to the meanings and trends hinted at in this article:

We value the MLS! No, really we do! Okay, we're hiring more and more paraprofessionals, and don't really think any of the tasks of librarianship need to be done by people with a MLS. Except for selection. But you only need a few people to do that. But we need professional librarians to do the big things that bring a community together like programming and imparting knowledge to little kids and to lead! Except we hire people without a MLS for all that because they have, you know, actual skills and training at such.

Sigh.

What's Up With Me

So I think I've gone completely around the bend.

Friday night I broke down, went out and bought some coconut rum and started making myself Dusie's cocktails in pint glasses. Good golly.

This weekend I started watching True Blood, because my coworker The Crimson Conquest and I decided that we should try to do something together out of work and maybe watching Season 2 would be it. So there's a character whose mom is an alcoholic, and she really believes it's a demon that makes her drink and goes for a $450 exorcism done in a bus out in the woods by a juju woman. And then I was all "That is NOT an evidence-based practice!" Then I started to wonder how you could do motivational interviewing or even treat a client who claimed there was a demon inside her who made her drink. Then there was the hysterical laughter when the character announced she'd been to AA, but it was "nothing but a cult!"

Please make it be over soon.

My Produce Is Better Than Yours

Since I've gotten the question, "What can you grow in the desert anyway?" I thought I'd share the Chow Bella columns on Phoenix farmers' markets.

And Sometimes, The Sexism Just Chafes

Sotomayor's Blunt Style Raises Issues of Temperament.

You know, nobody tells Scalia that maybe he should be less combative and a little nicer to the lawyers appearing before him. No one suggests that he should tone down his style of questioning. It's his calling card. It's also sometimes fun to listen to, even if you disagree with him, because he is so sharp, smart and opinionated. Nobody suggests he should just STFU and listen. No one says he should be less of a cranky conservative opinionated Catholic and not continue to interpret issues through his own viewpoint.

The woman has come from a background that's not connected to the traditional power structure of the United States to be a respected jurist and now is nominated to the Supreme Court. She is also really kinda boring--was married, got divorced, lives alone, hangs out with her family, takes care of herself. I think her temperament is proven steady by all that more than an "aggressive" questioning style IN HER OWN COURTROOM WHERE SHE MAKES THE RULES.

Seriously, did you want Harriet Miers on the bench? Apparently so.

Oh wait, there's more!

I was a little late to May's dustup between NPR's "Planet Money" host/reporter Adam Davidson and Elizabeth Warren but it it a doozy on so many points.

1) The podcast I've linked to has very little of the interview. What we are given the chance to listen to is disturbing because of Davidson's behavior. What's also disturbing is the framing of his disrespect towards Warren in the interview--an "aw shucks, I lost my temper, forgive the bad little puppy?" tone that excuses his behavior. Oh, so it's just fine for you as a journalist to be disrespectful in an interview, Mr. Davidson? All right, all's forgiven. Slap on the wrist! /sarcasm.

2) Elizabeth Warren got her post based not only on her professional qualifications, but because she cowrote a book that explained in plain language what happened in America that made sense both in terms of data and in people's experience in the past 30-40 years: that life has gotten extremely expensive for most people due to a chipping away of safety nets, that credit fueled a rise in costs and made up the gaps in personal income to cover that, and that this in part fueled some of the crazy financial system schemes that lead to the current craptastic state of the economy. It's a multilayered effect.

Mr. Davidson finds her viewpoint to be less credible because it is not endorsed by mainstream economists and she is not, in his words, "a statesman." I'm sorry that he feels that way, but it means jack. She was picked to head this panel by the administration; deal with it. That and her own ability to explain her position give her credibility.

And frankly can't one say adherence to the mainstream viewpoint is what got us into the mess?

3) At several points Davidson pulls out the bully's tricks of interrupting and shouting Warren down. She in turn adopts the low, measured tone one uses with a wild dog, because if a woman raises her voice she's automatically branded a shrieking harpy without serious thought. Listening, you can't escape how little he thinks of her, and how closeminded he is and that his behavior shows he regards her as not worthy of common respect and courtesy. It's pretty chilling.

It's great to be a thinking woman in America today!

What's Your Breaking Point?

I feel horrible in a way for mentioning this. Adam is an acquaintance I met through Patrick and Genevieve, and I admire his dedication to Tremont and his gift for bringing people together in a community.

But.

Two houses in your immediate neighborhood burning down in 2 months is not a sign the neighborhood is still good, no matter how quick the Fire Department responds. And that's before we get into any of Cleveland's other issues.

I cannot be that optimistic about Cleveland's long term prospects.

Phoenix Airport Museum

I think I have a new favorite artist. Wendy S. Timm's work is included in the current show at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport Art Museum, "Laughing Matters: Arizona Humor." My favorite is Javelini.

Okay, I admit that having an art museum at the airport is a bit odd, but you know what? Before 9/11, it was all about turning the airport into a shopping mall anyway. Besides, the Continental terminal has nothing else in it to amuse you, so why not stand in line and look at some cool stuff?

Damn You, Ikea!

So this weekend I am going away, which means I will miss Swedish Socialist Soup Kitchen. I love SSSK! Plus the Poang is going to be on sale Saturday, and I can use a chair.

They've also got a special deal on the sofa I want. Cain and I would like it in green, because we both have green eyes. Blue would also be acceptable. And this chair.

Disposable furniture, I know, but I don't want anything I can't lift myself. And having previously owned used and vintage furniture I just want what I want and to know what's available and not be twisting my desires to fit the resale market. I don't like shopping. And bedbugs. Let's not borrow trouble.

Need A Laugh?

Heavens know I do. It's like I'm constantly tempted to shoot myself in the head or shoot up to get away from the pain of work. But check out this offering from the clever commentators at Comics Curmudgeon: Zombie Beethoven.

I Need SPF 2,486 Please

Confused by SPF? Take A Number.

Sigh. Well, at least this article takes a slightly different tack--instead of "Sunscreen--Ur doin it wrong" the message is that the sunscreen manufacturers are a bunch of charlatans, the goverment doesn't care to regulate and the consumer is out in the sun, so to speak. I'm somewhat fascinated by the disconnect between people's behavior and how cosmetic and pharmaceutical companies have decided to completely ignore either effective sun education (like Australia's campaigns) or a more direct commercial influence on consumer behavior. Sunscreen sold in its current package must be a total cash cow for companies.

I think I will go and try to get some of that Blue Lizard sunscreen though.

And I realize that I'm awful but I am rather pleased that the character of Izzie Stevens on Grey's Anatomy has metastatic melanoma as opposed to a more standard cancer that gets shown in the media. Totally unrealistic story line, but I appreciate the small details.

Revenge Of The Spellmans--Lisa Lutz

I've previously talked about my love for this series. This is the third installment, and what made reading it extra excellent was that I found out Lisa Lutz would be at The Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale to promote it.

The Spellmans are a family of private investigators in San Francisco. Izzy has mostly cleaned up her legal issues from the second book; she's faithfully following the letter of her agreement with the court and going to therapy. She's ducking her father's questions about when or if she might return the family firm. She's truly happy about Inspector Henry Stone's awesome new girlfriend. And if she just has that little chronic insomnia problem that developed after she moved into her brother David's secret apartment without his knowledge or permission, the fact that someone knows about that move and is blackmailing her, the prospect of her friend and lawyer Morty moving to Florida, and an inability to find her car--none of these are related at all, right?

When she's replaced at The Philosopher's Club by an Irish interloper, Izzy's left with only her downward spiral and a case she took on behalf of Milo's friend to occupy her. As she investigates a wife's mysterious behavior, she's forced to actually acknowledge some of the things that are bothering her. Oh, and visit the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art.

Lutz delivers another funny and moving chapter in her series. Despite Izzy's near nervous breakdown caused by lack of sleep, the story is less dark than the second installment. This time around, it's the other Spellmans who are dealing with their own nuttiness--Rae is truly, unrepentantly monstrous, David is again behaving in an uncharacteristic and mysterious fashion and her parents are well, themselves.

Lutz was great to hear talk about her work. She admitted that these books getting called mysteries and nominated for Edgars is just the marketing machine doing its best. She set out to write comedic novels about a family, and that they are character driven and not plot-based is deliberate. It was funny because that's what I love about them; yet it's also reviewers' constant criticism. She worked for a family-owned PI firm, but as she put it "We never solved a 'mystery' that was anything like a detective novel." Instead, she works with the theme that mysteries are just ever present and it's a willingness to notice, snoop and ask questions that reveals them. And throughout all these books it's Izzy's journey and struggle to finally grow up, to figure out what it is that she wants and who she is as she asks these questions and digs into others' business that is the real story.

She also talked about the style of the books--the transcripts, lists, footnotes and file notations that help tell the story come from her scriptwriting background and she includes them because they get the story across in what might seem an unconventional format, but that works with her narrative style and Izzy's temperament.

The fourth book will be the last for the Spellmans, and in this book she laid the foundation for an epic battle between Izzy and Rae and some unfinished business with Stone. After that Lutz will move on to new projects, but she's one of those writers I'll keep reading no matter what.

And she was amazingly courteous to a woman who asked if freaking Janet Evanovich had been an inspiration, as if Evanovich is somehow the alpha and omega of comedic mystery tales. I felt like slapping her, I really did--Evanovich is a hack.

I bought the first book in the series recently if anyone local wants to read it. Or hit the library--really, I promise you, it's good stuff.

Wonderful!

My Personal Credit Crisis

I read this article, and while I have LOTS of thoughts about it, the main feeling I'm left with is that you know what? I have no freaking problem with my own financial debacle after reading about this guy. Because I took out a mortgage without lying, and I was eventually sunk by the decline of the region. This guy has no excuse. Because oh, yeah you can support 4 people on the $300 a month left after alimony, child support, and a mortgage when $2700 had you scraping in an apartment. And your new fiance who spent 15 years out of the job market will easily be able to secure employment to support you all, even when she makes it clear she doesn't want to.

I was not half as delusional as these people.

Cleveland: What's So Funny?

It's not funny because it's absolutely true, and because it is that bad.

Oh, and you know how to raise Cleveland's self-esteem? Improve the damn economy and get some jobs. "Mistake on the lake?" Are you an idiot, Regina Brett? No one remembers that. I didn't even hear about that before I went to Case in 1993. What they know about Cleveland is that it's the foreclosure bellwether of the country and it has lousy weather. And Michael Symon. No offense, but these are not what most people consider draws.

Cleveland drives me nuts because it is seriously delusional, and a lot of people are kinda jerks.

Go watch the videos though. They're hilarious.

Why Do You Live Where You Live? And Where Would You Go?

'"Youth Magnet" Cities Hit Midlife Crisis. So here's the question I'm left with: if you can't find a job, why and how would you live someplace? Because Portland was doing well in the 90s from the regional boom, but it never really recovered from the 2001 recession. It's interesting to me that people will flock there for quality of life issues without the ability to obtain the cash that enables quality of life.

One of my coworkers is originally from Phoenix but moved back from Portland. All her family is local, which influenced the decision, but she also moved for job opportunities. She is renting out her house in hopes of going back.

It's also interesting because it's the same story for slightly different reasons in Cleveland. People stay because they have family, love the city (whatever) and like the weather and the cost of living is low, but there are no jobs. But yet they stay. And I don't get it, because to me the whole being able to support yourself issue is paramount. I think it would have been a lot harder to pry me out of Cleveland if I had had a decent job.

I have to cop to another prejudice--I much prefer a city culturally influenced by cheerful Mormons and evangelicals to one influenced by hipsters. I like the suburbs. But while I would describe my relationship with Phoenix as a mutually satisfying hookup, I don't know if it's permanent. Now that they're having a baby, I'll tag along with Dusie and Jesse X longer, but if opportunities are in other places, I realize I might have to leave.

Cookbook Called It "Hipster Disneyland"

But I still want to check out The Duce. The only problem is that it's located so far out there that I will have to ride my bike from the light rail or hire a rickshaw to get there. It's on the other side of the old location of The Royal Coffee Bar and and Sweet Pea, behind the jail.

Actually, my mom is loaning me her car while she and my sisters and the baby drive down the Pacific Coast Highway from Oregon to California next week. Party time!

Neko Case - "People Got A Lotta Nerve"

Damn it, you know I have a thing about whales.

Out Of Order

I am going to be taking a blogging haitus for a bit. Here's why:

A) Last Sunday my computer broke. I don't know what's wrong with it, and it will be a while before I can get it fixed. This is because

B) Last Monday I got served with court papers re: the foreclosure. So getting my stuff out of the house is a high priority, even if they all say "THIS IS NOT AN EVICTION NOTICE." However, I need to

C) Do my taxes in hopes of getting a refund to accomplish B) and possibly A). This is complicated by A) and also

D) They are repiping my apartment and putting in a water heater, which means Cain is totally freaked out by strangers and retaliates by waking me up at 3am by digging in his litterbox (now in the bedroom because of the work in the pantry) and begging to go outside, scratching carpet, and talking loudly. Despite the fact that the birds are asleep and it is cold out. Therefore

E)I am somewhat sleep deprived and also suffering from allergies. And my usualness. So I personally am out of order.

I do have a plan of attack for all this, but it involves concentrating first on the housing situation and laying low at home to save money. That means taking lots of walks, throwing myself into work, working out, reading, offline writing, sending letters, cheapass cooking projects, cleaning, and training Cain out of some of his bad habits.

So the best way to get in touch with me now is by email or phone. I hope to be back soon.

I hope this does not come off as whining. It's overwhelming, but managable. And honestly, I am in a situation where mentally I can handle it and I know it. That's a bit unusual for me, but hey--that's the benefit of my new life.

Back with you soon,

Kerry

Surprising Marriage Ends In Bizarre Ohio Killing

Followup on the case back in Ohio where the transgender woman was accused of killing her water phobic husband by forcing him into the apartment complex pool. Crazy, Ohio is crazy.

Pussy Toes!

One of the things I thought I'd never see again after moving to the Southwest was pussy willows. They have always been one of my favorite flowers. Trader Joe's had branches last week. I am thrilled.

Cute Shoes, Huh?

But they don't quite match anything, and for $55 I can't quite bring myself to keep them.

Satire or Serious? Librarian Edition

Click on the link in the header, and answer me this--do you think that letter writer is being serious?

I do. And that letter disturbs me. It disturbs me that there's someone out there who will brag that she can't afford a damn second banana because she is so self-sacrificing. It disturbs me that American Libraries would publish that letter as matter of factly as it does. And it disturbs me that librarians recognize it immediately as being serious, because we all know someone who is like that and recognize that that attitude is encouraged and rewarded within the profession.

I have said before that I don't see myself going back to being a librarian, especially since I made 20% than I would as an entry level professional. Yes, I have a mercenary side, but I also like the validation that my pink collar combination of hard analytical skills combined with the ability to get people to talk to me and trust me has value. Because too often when your skills fall into that dimension, your mental fallback is that the only thing you can do other than whatever job you currently have is be a secretary or work at Sonic.

When the meeting about layoffs happened, The Auditor General explained why she made the decision to cut jobs instead of trying to cut salaries or do furloughs. One of the reasons really struck me--she said in the future, if and when things get better, she can go back to the legislature and ask for funding to replace people due to need. She can't go back and get them to raise our pay when we sold ourselves cheaply and easily. (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the drift).

And that increased my respect and trust for her. And my gratitude that I wound up in this job, which I still regard as a bit of a fluke.

Because in the library world, we're often treated poorly by the people we serve. We're also treated poorly by our leaders. They raise their hands and say "What can I do?" as they deprofessionalize positions, cry they can't raise salaries, spend endless times in committees and meetings that take years to accomplish nothing, and then say they can't find adequate applicants and continually recruit for the MLS.

Good people with strong work ethics and skills are worthy of respect. It's not entitled or arrogant to think that you have worth. What's arrogant is treating people badly and thinking they'll stick around for it.

Bat Hung On For A Ride Into Space

Am I the only one who hopes that the bat mutates on his space ride and develops special powers, traveling back down to Earth in order to protect the other bats from callous humans using his new super powers? Like the Fantastic Four, but only one, and probably a great deal smaller.

I am? Oh, good. I'll be up at 40th and Camelback bat watching.

Brilliant!

A clock using the voice of Jeeves to wake you up in the am.

As someone with terrible waking problems, this is an awesome invention.

The Only Good Thing About That Meeting Is That My 5 Minute Crush Is Still Hot

We had layoffs yesterday.

Not me, thank heavens. One of the other new auditors was cut though, and someone from the audit I'm working on.

We got word of an all office meeting down the street on Monday. Wednesday, 2pm, all divisions and staff.

We know that our budget got cut like all state budgets, but when they got to the point where they revealed it was a 30% cut, everyone got silent. We had been working on a 15% max reduction plan. Furloughs like everyone else. Maybe a pay cut.

29 FTE gone was the only way to make that up, along with the other cuts we've already got going. The reasons for doing that were solid. The people cut have until April 17th, and management is being very nice and helpful and flexible and everyone feels like crap.

We all went back to the office and then everyone tracked down their managers or our division heads to ask "Am I on the list?" Then we lurked in the hallways like vampires or nervous ghosts, giving each other the thumbs up or down and asking "Do you know who?" No one did any work.

I think this was a better way to do it than when I worked at the law firm, where people just vanished. When I got cut, Kate had to fight them to let me come back up to say goodbye--I was in the library, for freaking sake, and I had worked there for 5 years. I got to say goodbye and pack up my stuff.

I went out that night and bought shoes. Arizona is a state that funds itself on building and buying, and if the little I can do is pay 8.3% sales tax on something, so be it.

It's So Bad, You Can't Even Give The House Away

Genevieve sent me this story :Banks Refusing To Take Back Foreclosed Properties.

Then I read All Boarded Up, which I wish everyone who is bitching and moaning about bailouts and people getting their lifestyles and poor decisions subsidized would read. It reminds me of the movie On the Beach, but it's not a cloud of radiation coming for everyone--it's urban blight. The article confines itself the the City of Cleveland proper, but the same problems are cropping up in the suburbs. There are 124 foreclosures in Lakewood, the nice walkable suburb that you live in if you want a city-like environment without the corrupt shenanigans and crime of Cleveland and don't mind paying high taxes to do so. Three are on my street. They are selling for less than $50,000. I paid $99,000 for my house in 2001.

Look, the Obama plan is kinda crap in terms of what needs to be done and what it might be able to do, but now is not the time to bitch that people are going to get something that you didn't. Now is the time to do something to plug the hole.

As for me, I had a discussion with a nice woman from the credit counseling agency that my mortgage company hired to talk to me and she is going to recommend to them they let me surrender the deed in liu of foreclosure, which I'm fine with. It saves my credit rating a bit; I had PMI on the loan so the lender would prefer to collect that and not be out the legal fees; and then it's over and gone and I can rebuild my credit.

I don't know how you can tell yourself Cleveland and the surrounding area is coming back and things will recover. It's like looking at the pictures of the Ninth Ward after Katrina, or Beruit after the latest war. Yes, you may find yourself a hipster enclave with urban gardens but that cloud of blight spreads. What are Cleveland's prospects, its strengths that secure its future? Because honestly, I can't figure out how it's not a few sunny people in denial of what will happen.

The Dress Dilemma

So here's the rub: I found this dress at Marshall's. $25 and it is fully lined, machine washable, and very flattering. Plus it is modest enough to wear to work without modification and it's stylin'. Okay, it's a bit of a 5 pound dress, but there's another problem--my arm. The zipper up the back is a bit hard to manage. To keep or return?

I am such a shopping bulemic.

Because He's So Flippin' Cute

Where I've Been: Domestic News

This week I actually left the house to do something other than go along to awkward evenings in which I inadvertently pay for others' drinks.

I'm embarrassed to say, but I hadn't fully realized that I live so close to Scottsdale until Wende took me down there in January. And I hadn't realized that The Poisoned Pen mystery bookstore was so close. Last weekend I was checking the website when I erupted into epically shrill squeals of delight. S.J. Rozan brought her series with Lydia Chin and Bill Smith back! And she would be at PP on Monday night!

I didn't have any money for a copy, but she was a fascinating speaker. There were only 10 people there, which was a little sad--this is an excellent series that I think I've tried to hand sell to everyone I know at various points. There's a reason why I won't go into the plot but it deals with a little known intersection of 20th century Chinese history and the Jewish diaspora, and she says she has a lot of research that she might fold into other fiction projects. And she's happy her publishers were willing to wait for her to get back to Bill and Lydia and she still has a lot of stories to tell, and they are willing to publish.

Oh, and she's apparently left her architecture career to work on writing full time.

End of this month, Lisa Lutz will be promoting her new book and if her writing is a reflection of her personality, it will be fun.

Where I've Been: The Latest Reading List

more animals

I've made a bit of a genre shift into science fiction/fantasy. I had some ebooks from Tor's big giveaway last summer that I hadn't picked up and wanted to clear out the hard drive a bit by finally reading them. It was a good change for me--I have been reading fewer books because it's been hard for me to find things I can get into. While I didn't necessarily like these books, they were captivating. Or maybe because I had no tv or internet I was the captive audience. Either or.

Orphans of Chaos—John C. Wright

I thought this was going to be sort of fun, steampunky and mysterious, but no, it's more of straight fantasy but there's lots of blather about science and physics and oh, nobody cares if you do good characters as Wright mostly did. And some really creepy scenes. Eh. I'm not getting the next one in the series.

Spin—Robert Charles Wilson

The author really got drunk on his cool idea and put his tale in the hands of a very static and personally dull narrator. One night the stars and moon vanish, and Earth finds it has been put in sort of a big plastic bag to keep it safe. Tyler Dupree is a teenager when this happens; he grows up to be a doctor with his life still entwined with his best friends Jake and Diane Lawton. Diane becomes involved in an end time cult and pressed by his father Jake is the scientist/businessman whose attempts to figure out and fix the situation leads to the development of life on Mars.

The book succeeds when it looks at how people living in catastrophic times react to uncertainty and the changes that occur in societal makeup. Oh, and the Martian science bits are fun too. But Tyler is so dull and I really don't care about the twins. This book would have worked better as a thriller and less of a sprawling personal epic.

Starfish—Peter Watts

Creep me out, why not? So in order to harvest energy coming from the Earth's core out of those hot vents in the deep sea floor, we build some power generators down there and hire up people to live in stations to run things. And to live down in the deep dark it helps if you are seriously messed in the head from personal trauma. I was creeped by the descriptions of the sea creatures (gah, I am cringing just to think of them) and though the characters were a bit thin. It's definitely a novel that packages a lot of ideas and strings them together in interesting ways.

Victory of Eagles—Naomi Novik

This is the 5th in the Temeraire series. Everyone's favorite brilliant dragon and his captain are back dealing with the moral implications of committing treason in the previous novel. Oopsie. No seriously, it's a well-written entry into the series but I like these books more when Laurence and Temeraire stretch Novik's world-building skills.

Farthing & Ha'penny—Jo Walton

Holy cow. These books were masterful. I am going to write a full review once I've finished the third book in this trilogy.

Old Man's War--John Scalzi

You know how Starship Troopers is actually a pretty fun film where everyone is just killing left right and center and horrible stuff happens but after a while all the characters are just numb? That's what reading this book reminded me of. In the future, when you are 75 you can sign up to go off and fight in a war to defend Earth's colonies on other planets. John Perry signs up because he's got nothing better to do. His wife was the one who was gung ho on it, but Kathy died of a stroke and John figures why not go have an adventure? It's a leap of faith because no one knows exactly how they manage to get 75 year old recruits in fighting shape. No honestly, this is a very well balanced book with cool ideas and some great character development. A fun read, and I will be keeping an eye out for Scalzi's other books on the library shelves.

Four and Twenty Blackbirds—Cherie Priest

This was fascinating. Eden Moore has had visions of a severed hand, three sisters and a man involved with them all since she was a child. It's as much a part of her as her mysterious history--dead mother, unknown father and being raised by her her bohemian aunt and uncle in small town Georgia. In her early teens, an older boy tries to kill her and ten years later he shoots someone else trying again. This murder sends Eden into an exploration of her recent and ancient family history. Priest has written an excellently crazy Southern gothic fairy tale that's unusual in its mining of regional American history and culture to create a suspenseful mystery in the modern day with overlays of ancient human evil.

Then having watched Someone Like You I went to the original source material, Animal Husbandry by Laura Zigman. Conclusions: even though it's dull, watch the movie. It has a scene of Hugh Jackman walking around in his underwear, which livens things up a bit. And I can finally articulate what it is that annoys me so much about light literature aimed at women--it trivializes women. I'm pretty serious in my factory setting, and so are most of the women I know. This chick lit stuff really assumes that women don't have a serious thought in our heads and what's more, it's female authors writing it as such. That's the problem. It also denies a sense of moral sensibility--I am pretty sure that if some guy seemed to be interested in me but whined about HIS FIANCEE who he has nothing in common with and who doesn't understand him my response would be, "Hmmmm. Well, you know where I live. Why don't you break things off with the fiance and then give me a call?" as opposed to 1) sleeping with him, 2) falling in love with him, and 3) giving up my apartment to move in with him only to have him then back out. Inside of 3 months. Yes, really.

But hey, maybe that's why I am still single.

Anyway, I am torn between writing up more bits for our audit work and settling down with Rob Thurman's Deathwish, which I found on the shelf at Borders 4 days before its release date. Decisions, decisions.

Quick Examples Of My New And Old Jobs

A story about auditors examining the books and procedures in New York's school districts. The Arizona Office of the Auditor General has a Division of School Audits that does much of the same thing. Auditors: the mystery civil servants.

A librarian saves the day when it comes to costuming Officer Krupke in the latest revival of West Side Story.

It Seemed Like A Great Idea At The Time

Limoncello is going to take a very long time.

Thank god it's payday. Gotta buy vodka. Lots of vodka.

Oh, Cleveland!

Sorry for another boring Cleveland housing prices post, but really--I'm having this reaction of "Geez, do you really think I'm that dumb?" and needed to share.

So the Plain Dealer wants you to be happy because housing prices have only declined 6.1% in the metro area through the end of 2008. Go, be happy! See things are good! Cheer up! Ha ha, you don't live in Phoenix!

Except see that quote cited to the MLS data the one that one that says prices are down nearly 26%? Isn't that radically different? Who would you trust? Personally, since it's more dour I go with the MLS peeps. Also S&P is a bunch of lying liars who lie.

The white washing includes this cheery graph, but look closely--the high of Cleveland prices was in 2003, 2 years before the height of the market in the rest of the country. The reason why the price drops are slowing, if they really are, is because they've already dropped a hell of a lot.

I Wasn't Joking About The Lemons

I've listed my own plans--anyone else have ideas? Or want some?

More Crappy Library Job Advice

Why You Should Consider That Job In Smalltown, USA

Sigh. Let me count the flawed assumptions in the premise of this article.

1) It assumes those Smalltown jobs don't have applicants. I can’t believe this, based purely on my own feel for the number of library school graduates in the country versus the number of entry level-ish jobs I see posted. Not to mention how a pretty standard piece of library job hunting advice is the blithe “Apply for any job, anywhere!” There’s a lot of applicants per job. If the jobs are not getting applicants, there might be many reasons other than just location. They may not be advertising anywhere but on their town HR page or the state library association website. They might not be offering a salary that's enough to live on even in that small town, where the cost of living may be low but a second job would be unavailable. It might have red flags all over the place for applicants. It may in fact be an easily recognizable crap job for reasons that have nothing to do with location.

2) Speaking of which, while library job hunters are constantly told to be flexible and apply anywhere, a lot of people who do that never seem to be taken seriously as applicants unless they live in the area. Which yes, I know about the decentralized and diverse library world, but for the love of god MAKE UP YOUR MINDS.

Oh, and be respectful. If someone applies, take her at her word that she will pack up and move to the great beyond and treat her as a serious candidate no matter where she lives until she indicates otherwise.

3) If they don't have applicants they like, maybe there needs to be an adjustment of expectations on both sides. You get the pool you advertise for at the price you want. I really cannot believe the arrogance of libraries that think they should get the sun, the moon and the stars for a tuppence. Believe me, I’m sorry they can’t afford to pay workers more. But then when people get other jobs that use their skill set and pay more, why should they be faulted for seeking the best deal for themselves that they can get?

4) It also assumes that you as an applicant should not be so gosh-darned picky and be grateful for a job anywhere.

Here's the thing--I have been not picky. Not picky in love, not picky in jobs, not picky in friends.

It made me miserable. It sapped my effectiveness. And in the end, it didn't work out. I really don’t do so well reveling in misery. It’s a cozy trap, but still a trap.

Back before I graduated I applied for a couple of middle of nowhere jobs. But then I stopped because I realized that I don't want to live far away from my family in a place where I don't know anyone and where the only outlet of friendliness is work. It would have imported the misery of my Cleveland life to a new location. I don't like being miserable, and frankly it takes so very little to make me happy. So I moved to a place where I have support and love, sun and free grapefruit, and gave up on using my degree in that way. It was a decent tradeoff.

5) The second career problem—look, those small town jobs are great if you’re a young single person with few attachments. Not so good if you have a husband and kids, and that husband has a career of his own.

Who does librarianship like to pitch itself to? People looking for a new career. Where are there a plethora of unfilled entry level jobs? (Supposedly--I actually doubt this.) Small towns. See how this does not match up? Why would a couple decide to sacrifice opportunities for the person whose career is more established and quite possibly has a better earning potential?

But again it goes back to the issue of sexism in the profession. I've mentioned this before, but others have said it too--librarianship seems to like to assume you're married so you can do good, fulfilling, low paying work with the safety net of a man's wallet instead of your own full purse. But face it--economic power, especially now, counts most.

6) Your skills atrophy when you don't have the chance to sharpen them with competition and communication. It's going to be harder to find that in a small town where you have to work harder at making professional connections and finding different problems to solve.

Look, the reason I get so worked up about these issues is that I see librarians hiding in vagaries instead of applying critical thinking to the field and its employment prospects and giving accurate advice to people. It may be that the field is so diffuse it's impossible to give instructional advice. If so, quit acting like what you have to say has anything to do with the real world.

Where I've Been: Domestic News

This is avocado, red pepper and red onion salad with red wine and balsamic vinegar. I eat this 2-3 times a week for dinner. Cain likes avocado--he licks the pit eagerly.



And here he is spying on the birds. We have a pigeon problem at the The Hitchcock Arms.* He loves the balcony--he begs to go out in the morning while I get ready for work.



My Valentine's tulips.

* I refer to my apartment complex as The Hitchcock Arms not just because there is an ongoing bird problem. You can see a little bit of the courtyard and get an idea of the view in the photo. In spring/summer, I anticipate hearing even more of everyone's business. Perhaps I shall shame the jerk who doesn't clean up the dog poop by the barbecue grills.

The bird problem is a little more complex--they recently cut down most of the trees around the complex because they were destroying the foundation. I'm lucky the ones closest to my apartment escaped that fate. We still have tons of roosts for pigeons though. I see so many of them that I started to worry about a scenario like The Birds. Then the parrot lady moved in! She wanders around with her two parrots on her shoulders. I feel the avian population will start to collude.

What else is going on in my domestic world? I am about to get a ton of lemons from a coworker--limoncello, lemon curd, Morrocan preserved lemons to come! I made oven fried chicken for Aces on Sunday and a white bean, bacon, onion and pepper concoction of my own devising that turned out quite nicely.

I still don't have heat--the pipes here needed to be replaced throughout the complex. It's Phoenix, so it's only mildly annoying. That's because it's been about 10 degrees below normal temperature. I'm more worried I'll get psittacosis when they do get it working because they left the access panel outside my door open and I think the pigeons are setting up a home base there.

The irony is that as they were doing this work last week it was "Tenant Appreciation Week." Personally, I prefer information about the lack of heat to offers for door to door garbage pickup, a party sub, and other activities during my work hours. Also ironic? A week and a half before that they sent out a begging flyer asking us to refer our friends to this complex. I think not.

I bought a wicker chair at Ikea this weekend. I sit in it; Cain scratches it. I like having firniture that fulfills multiple needs.

Oh, and I have started eating oatmeal for breakfast. Yes, my actually getting it together for breakfast is a novel domestic innovation that should be marked.

Thank You, Genevieve!

Lolcats Communist propaganda!

Another Sign Of The Times

WSJ Cuts Its Library Staff.

Comments on the article are right on the money though: long term, this is not going to save money. It will compromise quality and the brand. Not having a record of the paper for several years is also very bad idea. The WSJ can be mocked for its myopic focus on the upper echelons of finance and the wealthy and missing the whole fact that "hey, the economy's gonna blow up like an atomic bomb!" it is still the US daily finance paper of record. I used to read it for fun back at the law firm.

Warning: catty bitch comment ahead. I do not have any sympathy for people who seek to bring up their own medical conditions and family life as reasons why their tale of unemployment is so much more tragic than anyone else's. Cry me a river; it's hard times for us all. It's very librarian though.

A Random Snapshot Of My Life

Evangelical ex-drug user? At my Starbucks the other night. No, I did not ask him to be a part of my study.

As for Starbucks, the wonkiness of their internet connection these days is annoying me. It’s not just the one next door—the same night I got disgusted and went up to Indian School to use that one, it knocked me off there too.

I have signed up for speed dating on the 10th. It was marketed as being for those in the 28-40 range with “professional degrees.” Sadly, they don’t have Smiths themed speed dating out here. And this is free. Any suggestions on what to wear and what to talk about? Have I mentioned that I’ve had 2 dates in 4 years? Have I mentioned I’m pretty unskilled at the dating thing?

The average US per capita consumption of oranges is 12.3 lbs per year. I have eaten 10 lbs so far in 2009.

I made the mistake of looking up comps for my house on trulia.com the other day. Maybe it wasn't a mistake, because wow. I hadn't known it was that bad. As I told Genevieve, you can now buy a house in Birdtown for $35,000. I have much less of a problem walking away now, because it's just a race to the bottom at this point. And I can now go and buy things I need like car insurance, bras, and new glasses.

Man, To Be A Fly In That House...

So it looks like the performance artists are looking to sell the house and move. Oh, to be in Lakewood now that there's delusion near.

These are the people who tried to sell their house in 2007 for $130,000 without doing anything to it, including cleaning up. The house was purchased for $108,000 in 2001, right after I bought mine. Want to lay bets on the asking price and when/if/what it sells at? Seriously, I will make book on this. Send me an email.

Last time they were selling I sent around the MLS listing and people were appalled at the pictures. This is going to be great. I almost wish I were there. You have to understand, these are people who are seriously delusional, who threw a hissy fit when the town told them they could not have bonfires in the backyard, who tear up the front grass and plant random vegetables without regard for seasons, who smoke tons of pot and have a superiority complex based on the fact they are "artists." Last time they attempted to sell they did not bother to paint over the flames decorating the archway that leads into the dining room, disassemble the tree sculptures in the living room made of real branches and paper mache, or remove the dead baby garden in the flower bed out front. The giant penis in the garage! The burn circle out back! Cat pee! The mural in the upstairs bedroom! Who would not want to buy this place?

I am kind of happy I'll never be able to afford to buy again. I would totally wind up with Performance Artists II: Phoenix Theater Backyard Winter Collaborative instead of noisy drone musician sculptors. Save me from myself, please.

Sorry I'm Not Around

I've stopped having anxiety attacks about work, but that's coincided with with actually running into work problems--my substance abusers do not wish to be found, and if found, do not wish to be interviewed. Seriously, we're joking that I should just start riding the bus, since last time was on the 29 I overheard this young born again guy macking on a girl by telling her his life story (ex druggie) and inviting her and HER BOYFRIEND to his church. Huh.

Tomorrow Anners and I are going to Coolidge to do interviews. One person so far. ONE. NOT ENOUGH.

But last week, we had two meetings to brief people internally and externally on what we're up to and everyone was pleased.

There's some rockabilly at The Rhythm Room next week I am hoping to check out, and free breakfast this weekend at Ikea, aka "Swedish Socialist Soup Kitchen." Ikea thrills me for multiple reasons--cheap cute furniture, but also if you pay with a debit card you get a 3% rebate that you can save and combine to get discounts in the future. Oh, if all American commercial enterprises thought encouraging responsible consumerism lead to future loyalty and improved sales.

Cain ran outside yesterday morning when I was struggling with a lot of bags. Bad kitty! He jumped over my stuff, and ran down the steps and past the downstairs neighbor's patio without stopping and tried to hide behind a bush to figure out his next move. Then I got him. I let him out on my balcony (supervised), so he has an idea of what is outside but loud neighbors and dogs scare him. And his is not interested in our colony of pigeons.

Thanks!

From Eva

"The Prémio Dardos is given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.

'Com Prémio Dardos se reconhecem os valores que cada blogueiro emprega ao transmitir valores culturais, éticos, literários, pessoais, etc. que, em suma, demonstram sua criatividade através do pensamento vivo que está e permanece intacto entre suas letras, entre suas palavras. Esses selos foram criados com a intenção de promover a confraternização entre os blogueiros, uma forma de demonstrar carinho e reconhecimento por um trabalho que agregue valor à Web.'

Thank you, Eva for stopping by and commenting. I am not going to go around with the awards because that makes me feel weird (but I also don't really get into the give/receive on Facebook either) but I will go and comment freely in the blogosphere in an effort of fraternization.

And go look at Eva's cool pictures on her blog!

On The Library Job Market

I finally filled out a survey I got from my library school a few weeks ago that asked if I had a gotten a job. Yes, it did ask if it was a library job or outside the field and how much it paid. There was no option for "Yes, I have a library job (two in fact, both part-time) but neither comes with benefits, and what do you consider 'professional' anyway?" The results get reported to the ALA and heavens know they've got a vested interest in delusion.

What frustrates me about librarianship was how one could do everything "right" and still get the response of "you suck" not just from the hiring entities but from people who act as "advisors" in the field. I'm putting that in quotations because honestly there's little practical advice in that forum. And if the job field is so challenging to people doing high-profile work, really I don't think it's entitled or whining to ask what is wrong with the field.

Oh wait, it's me. I never think it's wrong to complain and point out flaw--just sometimes the wrong time to voice them.

Honestly though, when I see jobs like this, I can't help but think a) I dodged a bullet and b) the veil has got to fall sometime.

The Housing Stupidity Does Not Stop

So you heard about the woman who bought a house in foreclosure on eBay for $1.75, right? And you heard me banging my head against a wall, right?

Yeah, it was a couple of months ago. What can I say? I just recovered from the concussion. And even I learn, because I ddn't concuss myself reading this shiny happy bull of how those cheap, cheap houses are screamin' deal and GOOD for people. Even in East Cleveland!

(For those of you unfamiliar with Cleveland geography, East Cleveland is east of the city and was originally a seasonal area, and is now filled with drugs and decaying buildings. We're not talking 5-10 years decay. We're talking about white flight from the 1960's era decay. We're talking counting the caved in roofs from the Rapid decay. I don't know how you comeback from no jobs, drugs, and a lousy school system in that area. I'm thinking The Talkin Heads' "Nothing But Flowers.")

So here's why you should care about this: This woman basically bought a pig in a poke thinking "oh, hey it's so cheap how can it not be a bargain?" Well, it's not. Michigan is dead. There's no money, no jobs, and tons of these abandoned houses around. She may think the $1.75 plus the $1,000 for the back taxes and city fees was nothing, but what about the $50,000 to put the house back in livable condition since it's probably been stripped of everything a scrap dealer would pay for? Not to mention, was it a meth house? Somebody have a great party there? She bought this off a bank/investment company--they know nothing. They don't care. They're just trying to dump these properties as fast as they can to anyone who will take responsibility for them.

She may have thought that speculating with her grocery money was painless, that she could get a house she could rehab and rent out for a little cash, but it doesn't work that way, people. And if she can't rehab it, then Saginaw is going to bill her for the $6000 it will cost to bulldoze the property when it eventually gets around to that house on the list.

See how it works?

And this is why I'm scared, and tired and frustrated thinking about finances, goverment oversight and my fellow man. Because here's the thing--I'm being punished, with the loss of my retirement savings and my inability to sell my house, along with everyone else. The corruption started at the investment banks and was fed by the government, and in a sick way that says a lot about me I can accept being screwed on a grand institutional level by larger entities. I'm Slovak/Irish--this makes sense to me.

But when it's my fellow man signing up individually to get screwed, standing in line not thinking and bringing with them their HGTV-fueled dreams of granite countertops and extra bathrooms they can't afford--my misanthropy takes over. I try to be charitable. I try to count my blessings and think how I'm lucky to be smart and fearful and thoughtful. But God almighty, when I get screwed over by other people not thinking...

When I broke my arm, people were all like "It was an accident! Why are you so upset?" And I had to think it through. I wasn't blaming the driver of the car I was in (although when I found out he'd been driving without insurance I went through the roof) because he hadn't caused the accident--he hadn't been speeding, he had a green light, and he hit the brakes when the minivan driver turned in front of us. It was the attitude that the minivan driver had done something that was automatically forgivable, something pardonable without question, something we'd all done, that fueled my fury for the next year. Because I can't accept not thinking about how your actions might affect others as an excuse. The reason, sure. Reasons are different from excuses.

And weirdly, this is why I keep paying the mortgage and hoping the TARP funds come through to homeowners--I don't want to be someone who adds the the mess through foreclosure, but that's the way it is going. Because if I have no equity and the house won't sell, holding onto it for 5-10 years until I have equity for a sense of honor makes no sense.

You know, when the eminent domain controversy hit my town, I was behind the city when it passed the blight law. I wanted retail redevelopment in my neighborhood.
And I was happy when the Supreme Court eventually backed these plans. Would this have helped anything? Maybe not. But a while back I was talking to Dusie about this and she voiced the opinion that the main purpose of government is to ensure there are jobs and business creation (remember, I come from conservative stock--she voted for Obama though).

Another thing to ponder is what will happen with all these dying cities across the upper Midwest and Great Lakes regions. Detroit has joined Buffalo (and really, all of upstate NY) as places Cleveland feels superior to, but the hourglass is running out on how long that emotion will buoy the area. Yeah, I think Cleveland's plan to rebuild houses in certain neighborhoods is a total waste--people will move into the city when they can use the school system and/or have enough services, businesses and infrastructure to support lifestyle. Rehabbing houses in a vacuum is not going to help. Maybe the recycled housing movement will provide jobs and building material and a feel-good "green lifestyle" choice, but honestly--there is so much housing stock out there it is a drop in a bucket. You have no idea of the history and beautiful decay of these towns until you see it in person. It's a continually unfolding reminder that people live in places in cycles, small deaths of old homes that are reborn again.

I'm Your Fan: Bill Willingham

ABC to Bring DC's "Fables" To Life.

"Fables" is my favorite comic, even if I haven't picked up an issue since moving. I've done a handsell to almost everyone I know over the years. At some point I'll get all the issues I've missed, and probably even shell out for this. I am of two minds on its transition to a screen. On the one hand I really hope it makes Bill Willingham a ton of money and draws more fans and acclaim to his work. On the other hand, I don't think it will be as good as the comic, even if we do have the time to flesh out more of the characters and their daily lives.

Seriously, it's so well done, month after month. Unlike some creators (oh wait, let's not get into the Whedon rant) Willingham gets that devoting himself to something and have a thought out plan leads to consistently good product and happy fans. No, it really is that simple. This is a guy who when he turned out a short story line that really wasn't quite up to his usual standards, apologized and explained why he had to pull his original idea--something in the great comics brainverse lead to someone else having a similar idea that hit the stands first, and he wasn't comfortable publishing his after that. Damn, integrity. And hell, those substitute issues featured Bigby Wolf swanning around undercover in Nazi Germany wearing a white linen suit, so it wasn't all bad.

So yes, sometimes you can say Willingham's pushing his conservative agenda a bit hard. I don't care. This is work with nuance, humor, well-realized characters whose actions are consistent with their growth, expertly plotted (there's little seeds planted in the first 6 issues he picked up on later, and I just was amazed to put it together), that rewards close scrutiny. Do you realize how unusual it is to find that in any fiction? Don't go dismissing it when it happens in graphic fiction. And he does it month after month. Heck, he even did an issue devoted to the questions readers had on the little character things--what's Boy Blue's favorite song, for example--gleaned from their question. And a big sappy wedding issue.

So Bill Willingham--thanks. I'm your fan.

And if the tv series gets that far, I do want to see the fight where Snow says, "No, I am not moving to Kazakstan with 6 babies, only one of whom looks fully human! Are you out of your freakin' mind?"

And ask Wentworth Miller to audition for Bigby--I'm sure he'd like to play a character with a sense of humor, and he needs a job now that Prison Break has been cancelled.

A Trend Wende and Lisa Are Behind All The Way

Over at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books SB Sarah makes a prediction: financially savvy heros and heroines are the next big trend.

Speaking of which, over on Filthy Commerce Lisa Schmeiser asks if Confessions of a Shopaholic is hitting screens too late to be amusing.

Personally, I would totally read fiction with realistic financial detail, like the hero/heroine making dinner out of a butternut squash, a handful of navy beans, a bullion cube and some rice because it's 3 days to payday and that's what's around after the student loan payment is hits the bank account.

What I've Been Reading

War for the Oaks—Emma Bull

I could have sworn I had never read this book, but that’s what happens when you write a classic urban fantasy: 20 years later readers scratch their heads and say “This is awfully familiar…” Anyways, Minneapolis, special girl musicians, bands, faeries, epic battles, blah blah. Look, I get why it was so good when it was written, and Eddi is a strong, capable modern heroine but she’s been eclipsed by heroines more kickass.

The Spellman Files & Curse of the Spellmans—Lisa Lutz.

The 3rd book in this series, Revenge of the Spellmans, is due out in early March, and Lutz will be doing a signing at The Poisoned Pen Bookstore. I reviewed the first two in the links above and they’re both excellent. I was looking for a comfort read when I took these out, and I got what I needed.

The Soul of A New Machine—Tracy Kidder

This book was recommended as an excellent case study by Yin’s book so I read it as prep for work. It’s long, and nothing much happens but I did glean a bit of insight out of it. Unfortunately, not any insight on how to run or write a case study. But auditors and computer engineers have a bit of the same creative mindset and need to solve problems and make things better. It's also an interesting management case study. Check out Wired's update on the players 20 years after the publication of the book.

Sober For Good—Anne M. Fletcher

Another bit of work related reading. You can get sober without AA; it requires doing all the same stuff that AA requires, but it’s possible to go it alone or figure out your own path if it turns you off.

Chinatown Beat—Henry Chang

A well written but very dry and rather characterless offering from Soho Press.

Nightlife, Moonshine, Madhouse—Rob Thurman.

The 4th in this series, Deathwish, is due out the first week in March. Yes, I reread these to prepare. Yes, I am excited. They were some of the best books I read last year. If you put together a tv show based off these books and alternated it weekly with The Dresden Files which so, so much improved the books and Supernatural, I'd be all twitterpated and embrace my geekness full-time.

Host Family—Mameve Medwed

What a stupid book! So we’ve got this dumbass middleaged heroine who gets dumped by her husband who takes off with a French girl and then meets a very nice parisitologist she refuses to marry...just no, let's not think about it. Laurie Colwin was better than this. CHICK LIT is beter than this twaddle passing itself off as intellectually inclined mainstream fiction.

Beware Of Geeks And Engineers

Spurred by a conversation about a coworker's in law who is getting a PhD in Celtic languages (the scorn flowed from those who know him and those who don't ), I wrote the following on Anner's board:

"Engineers: Yea Or Nay? Geekery: Science Or Humanities? Yea Or Nay?"

This horror story brings shivers to us all.

Trapped By Runners

I'm currently trapped in Starbucks by a marathon.

I honestly don't care too much what people do in their leisure time unless it smacks into my happiness, but I was planning on going out to buy some work clothes this am, return the cat carrier to Dusie, and do some more errands.

So, instead we have updates and blogging:

Cain is here! Dusie brought him on Wednesday. He seems to be adjusting well. He needs a diet though. Oh, and I made the mistake of putting the cat food in the pantry so when his bowl ran out he took the initiative and knocked down the bag to eat his fill.

He had developed a habit of hiding in cabinets at my mom's, and he does like the balcony. I was going to see if I can rent him out to coworkers for mid-day stress relief petting. Yes, I am my cat's pimp.

The car is fixed. It was something stupid and it wasn't too expensive. The good thing is that they gave me an estimate on some work that is significantly lower than the estimate I got from the Firestone by Dusie. This means I may actually get the work done.

I am very busy at work. Let's not get into it.

Other than that, not much is going on. I'm thinking about getting furniture and an internet connection. I managed to hang up nearly all my clothes. Wende and I went to Scottsdale yesterday and it was an...experience.

Oh yeah...it's 80 degrees here and it's nice. I am loving it.

Barbecue Promotes Togetherness!

I love barbeque. Vinegary NC style, mustardy SC style, thick tomatoey Texas style, St. Louis style, pork, chicken, beef--I adore it all. Hell, I'm even a fan of the McRib. I blame it on my teenage Southern phase. Maybe you had a goth phase; having few friends and going to a prep school, I had a Southern phase. Yeah, I know. My dream vacation is a fall or winter driving trip through the South hitting all the bbq joints we can find.

Phoenix is big on barbeque for a lot of obvious reasons: the migration factor, the heat, the fact that people really like to live and eat outside.

There's two places I've been that are good in different ways: Stacy's Smokehouse BBQ on 16th & Indian School and Joe's Real BBQ in Gilbert on Country Club & Gilbert.

Joe's Real BBQ: We went here on December 28th, which was a mistake because the next day was my birthday and Joe's gives you a free meal on your birthday. Free barbeque on my birthday--seriously, what more could I ask for?

Dusie likes any place that has monster baked potatoes available at 11am, and also said their homemade root beer was very good. I had the chopped brisket and the coleslaw. It's very good coleslaw--homemade, shredded, a good mix of cabbage and carrots and not too much dressing. The pit ham is next on my list to try. Aces and my mom had the pork ribs and shared around and they were good, meaty and spicy.

It's a big hall designed to look like a classic barn conversion with fans on the ceiling, a mural, some retro items and wood paneling. It also has a tractor parked in one corner. It's a bit Disneyfied, but a nice looking place.

Stacy's is much more authentic. Aces calls it "seriously, the best barbeque I've had outside NC." She went to college in NC and still laments that she can't get a plate with ribs, a side and a roll for $5 out here.

It's a squat little purple cinderblock building and you can smell the smoked meat as you pass, at least a block in each direction. You walk in and place your order at the counter, go take a seat and wait for them to bring it out to you. It can get very crowded--they only have seats for maybe 15 people. They also have the weirdest little bathroom--it's all modern and marble, but you have to turn the light on outside. There's an arrow and a sign with directions. It's a funny bit of poshness in a modest little place.

I keep having the ribs. I don't know why when there's so much else on the menu, but it's so good. And the coleslaw is the best--shredded red and green cabbage, very little creamy dressing, and a bit of spice on top. I've also had the fries and those are perfectly crispy thick steak fries. Aces says the sweet tea is absolutely right on; I'm not a fan so I have a coke.

Oh, I should not have written this post while hungry...

In Which I Come Back From The Brink

Specs has a kidney infection, not kidney failure.

My realtor went over to check on the furnace and it is off. I have to call the gas company at 5am tomorrow to confirm they sent me an estimated bill. But honestly, a fake bill for $400 to a house I'm not living in is low, low priority.

I am dropping off my car tomorrow to get the check engine light checked.

I have been at the Marlboro Mesa this weekend taking care of the dogs. They are all good--we've had 2 games of fetch today to tire out Brownie and Harley. Last night I slept with all 3 on the bed with me. I forgot my camera, so no pictures of majestic beasts.

In Which I Take To Drink

But honestly, this day called for it.

I got a message this afternoon that Specs, the cat I rescued this spring, has kidney failure. I have a call in to Isadora, but it might be the end for a spunky little loudmouth.

Then driving home, my car's check engine light came on.

I then open my mail and find a $400 gas bill from Dominion East Ohio. All I can think is that in early December, when she accompanied the plumber to winterize the house, my realtor turned on the furnace and left it on. No, really. Because the whole point of winterizing the house is that you don't need to turn the heat on to save the pipes from freezing.

"Angry" does not encompass my mood.

I had a bourbon and gingerale for dinner. Can you blame me?

Come And Argue With Me

The Liminal Librarian on salary sharing pacts. You know I'll tell you what I make, right? But you could also look it up in the AZ state employees' salary database. I am part of the public record.

The LisJobs Forums are particularly filled with the attitude I cited. If you browse, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Because I Apparently Can't Count To 9

I just noticed that my grand scheme for 9 In '09 only has 8 list items. Why yes, I do have trouble with basic skills like counting. Hopefully the nice doctors I will visit with my health insurance card in hand will notice my muzzyheadedness could be due to a wonky thyroid and give me some drugs. I'm not holding out hope--the compelling evidence of ridged fingernails and 2 first degree relatives with bad thyroids battles the medical notion that everyone with excess weight wants to blame their thyroid and get drugs, and I dislike having to be bitchy to get what I need. No really, I am not nearly as filled with bravado in real life.

But anyway, the missing item is 9) Use Wells Fargo's BillPay as it's free and all that. Yes, I still write checks for nearly everything. Stamps are getting expensive, and as a lot of my financial strategy is "Empty the account by paying for necessities as soon as the cash is available" this seems a sensible move instead of playing the check clearing waiting game.

I'm having problems with the notion of resolutions--I don't like being pushed into some sort b&w, good v. failure paradigm, and I also don't like the way resolutions seem to also always be about changing who you are. I could put "Be Less Isolationist," "Get A Boyfriend," "Lose Weight," "Fix My Finances" on a list, but that stuff is either a) not fully under my control or b) not so much something that could be resolved, but a way of life. And honestly, the projects list assists in those--I get out of the house, I do well, I get engaged in the world, I get more comfortable.

Quick Business Notes

The internet connection I was hijacking off is gone and I'm working off coffeehouse wifi because I am too cheap/poor for my own at the moment. Posts will be a bit sporadic, and as it's the turn of the year you may notice some dated topics. It's just me cleaning house and finishing up projects as I near 500(!) posts.

9 In '09

I am not someone who can ever set and follow through on a New Year’s resolution, although in 2008 I managed to accomplish all my goals (1. Get out of Cleveland 2) Get a job 3) Move out of Dusie's house 4) Get my cat back). I was rereading my archives and wow, was this a good year. I am so happy now.

But inspired by Lisa S.’s old yearly project lists, I have came up with 9 In ’09. They are interconnected but distinct projects that will hopefully focus me into new stratospheres of awesome.

In no particular order,

1) Learn Spanish (as well as I can)
I actually took Spanish for 5 years and got a 3 on the AP. That is amazing as even at the time, I knew I did not speak any sort of Spanish. The problem is my high school had lofty ideas about immersion and learning through conversation, reading, and doing skits. So we were all solid on the past , present and future tenses, but all other forms of grammar were a mystery. Poor Mrs. O’Hara, how her head exploded when she realized the Spanish IV class did not know the subjunctive tense and when to use it.

I knew Spanish would probably be necessary for library work, but I honestly did not have the cash or time or mindspace to begin to devote to it. And now in my new career in a new region, it will be even more important.

The plan for this is start with the Coffee Break Spanish free podcasts, then hit the community college classes, and save up to eventually go to Spanish camp down in Belize. I have a bunch of these programs bookmarked—they’re all cheap aside from airfare (and you can get there easier from here!) and it’s pretty much you live with a family and go to Spanish school in the am and go wander in the afternoon. My mom would go with me.

2) Find a physical hobby I like well enough to do at least weekly.
All of my hobbies are either domestic (cooking, inviting people over), solitary (reading) or online (blogging and writing). I need to get out of the house and do something that doesn't use the brain so much.

3) Find an intellectual hobby.
I think I might wind up taking up math with a vague goal of going back to grad school. Maybe. Don’t hold me to it.

4) Do well at work.

5) Use my health insurance.
I haven't had it for 2 years, oh and man, I need to use it while the using is good.

6) Learn how to do my nails.
I like Emmy and go to Mesa often, but it would just be nice to have this critical piece of girlness down.

7) Break ties with Cleveland.
Meaning give up on the house, stop reading the blogs of people the place works for, and the people for whom it doesn’t but who enjoy whining and romanticizing it. It’s Over. It Didn’t Work Out. The End.

8) Stop identifying as a librarian.
Again, It’s Over. It Didn’t Work Out. The End. Stop reading the blogs. Finish the critical pieces you promised people and let go. Truthfully, I’m not even sad about it.

2008 was marked by 2 things--people extended a hand and I took it, and I actually got a clue about what happy looks like and the idea that life doesn't have to be a constant struggle. I'm rereading The Shadow and the Star and taking to heart Dojun's teaching--"Don't fight against. Always go with." (Oh, shut up. Good advice is good advice, whether it's out of a romance novel or the Bible or off a cereal box.) Happy New Year everyone!

If Santa Didn't Bring You A Dolly...

Have a little fun with the Regency Dress Up Doll and the Regency Dress Up Hero Doll.

And thanks to Genevieve and Smart Bitches, Pride and Prejudice as told through Facebook status updates.

Wrap A Stand Of Lights Around A Saguaro--It's Christmas!

About November I started to get indignant on behalf of the Southwest. If you look at any holiday crafts or stirring illustrations or photographs depicting "holiday", it's always of cold weather images--snow, trees with falling leaves, sweaters, cold and colder, deer.

Whereas here, even if we don't have snow (and I am so grateful not to be in Cleveland now, you have to believe me) we do have colder weather. Everything has turned yellow and brown but the cactus, and the leaves are falling off the trees. Pinecones too. Christmas in Phoenix means you briefly consider making your own tamales when you encounter the huge display of masa and corn husks at the grocery before shrugging and saying "Screw it" and calling La Canasta to place an order. You go down to Tempe Lake to check out the boat parade--people decorate their boats with lights and sail down the strait while they have a huge narration on a big screen. Your neighborhood decorates with lights and luminarias and people can actually walk the streets and admire them. You need a sweater; it's in the 60s during the day and temperatures drop 20 degrees at night, but the sun's out every day and the oranges are getting ripe. Tempe Marketplace has a billboard saying they have a snow show every night at 7:30pm. Having recently encountered real snow, I don't get the fascination with getting sprinkled by a snow machine, but it takes all kinds.

It's beautiful here. I don't think I love Phoenix, but we're in a mutually satisfying hookup. Life has been better for me here than I ever thought it could be. I am happy.

Merry Christmas.